very understanding, 17 Aug 2008
A must read in particular for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a broken relationship. This book is written with warmth and compassion to support the hurt you will be feeling.



A light in the dark, 13 Apr 2008
After a 19 year relationship my partner tells me he wants to separate. For several weeks I was in a fog of misery, shock and I was terrified of a future without him. I was crying all the time, unable to sleep and having panic attacks - I had never experienced such a deep dark feeling. Reading this book gave me the first glimmer of light - listening to the CD gave me the first period of calm. It showed me that, although someone else had hurt me, it was I who was continuing to toture myself mentally, and that there are things I can do to break the cycle and recover from this awful event. It gave me a sense of empowerment, where I had felt so helpless. It is not a cure all, but I cannot recommend it highly enough - if you are broken hearted buy it! If you know someone whose heart has been broken - buy it for them!

Broken up? You NEED this book!, 06 Feb 2008
Have this book on standby, because nothing is guaranteed.

I bought this book yesterday and can look forward to changing my destructive patterns, and achieving neutrality. I was the one who ended it, or at least was instrumental in doing so, but now the fog of misery is starting to lift. Listening to the CD has also given me a considerable boost and, for the first time in weeks, I feel calm.

It's full of exercises that help reprogramme the way you look at relationships, giving you the tools to move towards a happy, fulfilling relationship not just with the person of your dreams, but with yourself. Ultimately this is where healthy relationships start! And the next time you embark on a relationship, you'll feel wiser and happier for having all this knowledge, not jaded and cynical. You're worth it.



This book is amazing, 18 Jan 2008
My boyfriend broke up with me 2days after christmas, out of the blue after 4 years together and the past few weeks have been hell.The other day i was given this book by a friend and i read it today.

This is the first time since the breakup that ive been able to feel calm inside. My friends have been helping with kind words and girly nights out etc but Paul Mckenna knows exactly how im feeling and exactly what i need to do to help myself! I feel positive for the first time in 3 weeks about a future without my ex.

The opening pages will make you cry because he identifies with exactly how you are feeling, but from then on he shares the techniques you will need to mend your heart.

Without this book I would have carried on the way i have been, feeling completely distraught, thinking negatively and lacking any motivation to carry on with my life. Im not saying my problem has gone away, im still heartbroken, but after reading the book just once i've completely changed my outlook on things and i know there's a brighter future waiting for me!

Regardless of whether you are male or female and whether you were married for 20 years or in your relationship for 9 months, if you the person you love has ended your relationship then this book is going to help you move on.

Lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, 15 Jan 2008
My wife left me after 25 years of being together. This book was so enlightening when presenting us with the theory of imprinting. It has made me understand why I was the way I was with my wife and why she was the way she was with me, and that our behavior is based on what we learn about relationships from our parents. I have all Paul's books and I am NLP trained myself. But it was difficult for me to adapt the NLP techniques to suit my situation. This book did it for me. As a result I wrote a long letter to my ex outlining what I had learned. We even talked about it. Strangely enough I think, whilst our relationship has ended, we have agreed on something. And that something is contained in this book. If there were more than 5 stars to give this book, I would be giving it 10000.

very understanding, 17 Aug 2008
A must read in particular for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a broken relationship. This book is written with warmth and compassion to support the hurt you will be feeling.



A light in the dark, 13 Apr 2008
After a 19 year relationship my partner tells me he wants to separate. For several weeks I was in a fog of misery, shock and I was terrified of a future without him. I was crying all the time, unable to sleep and having panic attacks - I had never experienced such a deep dark feeling. Reading this book gave me the first glimmer of light - listening to the CD gave me the first period of calm. It showed me that, although someone else had hurt me, it was I who was continuing to toture myself mentally, and that there are things I can do to break the cycle and recover from this awful event. It gave me a sense of empowerment, where I had felt so helpless. It is not a cure all, but I cannot recommend it highly enough - if you are broken hearted buy it! If you know someone whose heart has been broken - buy it for them!

Broken up? You NEED this book!, 06 Feb 2008
Have this book on standby, because nothing is guaranteed.

I bought this book yesterday and can look forward to changing my destructive patterns, and achieving neutrality. I was the one who ended it, or at least was instrumental in doing so, but now the fog of misery is starting to lift. Listening to the CD has also given me a considerable boost and, for the first time in weeks, I feel calm.

It's full of exercises that help reprogramme the way you look at relationships, giving you the tools to move towards a happy, fulfilling relationship not just with the person of your dreams, but with yourself. Ultimately this is where healthy relationships start! And the next time you embark on a relationship, you'll feel wiser and happier for having all this knowledge, not jaded and cynical. You're worth it.



This book is amazing, 18 Jan 2008
My boyfriend broke up with me 2days after christmas, out of the blue after 4 years together and the past few weeks have been hell.The other day i was given this book by a friend and i read it today.

This is the first time since the breakup that ive been able to feel calm inside. My friends have been helping with kind words and girly nights out etc but Paul Mckenna knows exactly how im feeling and exactly what i need to do to help myself! I feel positive for the first time in 3 weeks about a future without my ex.

The opening pages will make you cry because he identifies with exactly how you are feeling, but from then on he shares the techniques you will need to mend your heart.

Without this book I would have carried on the way i have been, feeling completely distraught, thinking negatively and lacking any motivation to carry on with my life. Im not saying my problem has gone away, im still heartbroken, but after reading the book just once i've completely changed my outlook on things and i know there's a brighter future waiting for me!

Regardless of whether you are male or female and whether you were married for 20 years or in your relationship for 9 months, if you the person you love has ended your relationship then this book is going to help you move on.

Lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, 15 Jan 2008
My wife left me after 25 years of being together. This book was so enlightening when presenting us with the theory of imprinting. It has made me understand why I was the way I was with my wife and why she was the way she was with me, and that our behavior is based on what we learn about relationships from our parents. I have all Paul's books and I am NLP trained myself. But it was difficult for me to adapt the NLP techniques to suit my situation. This book did it for me. As a result I wrote a long letter to my ex outlining what I had learned. We even talked about it. Strangely enough I think, whilst our relationship has ended, we have agreed on something. And that something is contained in this book. If there were more than 5 stars to give this book, I would be giving it 10000.

Cure for the broken heart., 14 Nov 2008
I bought this book after breaking up with my first true love. It made me laugh the whole way through, helping me to get over that eejit and make me see that there's life after a break up - and it only gets better!! Since I didn't die from a broken heart, I bought copies for a number of friends who were threatening to do so and they all thought the book was an essential part of their recovery process. We are now Team Breakup Superfox!! So stop sniffling, let go of the tissue for a minute and use your mouse to click "Buy Now" for this book. That's the way... :-)

PS It's not just for girls, boys like it too.

MY LIFELINE..., 03 Nov 2008
This book has become my new best friend! I go to it when I need advice,support and brutal honesty. It tells you everything you dont want to hear but should know and picks you up when you are at your lowest. I am currently going a difficult seperation and this book has taught me how to keep my dignity and grace in my time of woe. I highly recommend this book to women who are finding losing a partner difficult and need a helping hand. I love the activities in this book it really puts some things into perspective! I'm beginning to wonder what I ever saw in my ex! :)

For serious Superfoxes!, 12 Oct 2008
As someone who is currently suffering from a broken heart this book didn't really start the way I had hoped, by telling me that there was still hope and that he would realise what a mistake he had made and rush back with a huge gesture!
Instead it told the truth. Once that guy has dumped you they really don't want you being crazy lady on them, this book gives you real advice on how to escape from the seriously earth shattering situation of having your heart crushed by someone you love with some remaining dignity.
Let's face it, if they have ended the relationship they weren't all that great anyway, imagine not realising how amazing we are and how lucky they were to have us! Keep your head up, it's hard but you will get through.

Essential Break Up Buddy, 18 Jul 2008
This book is good. It's well written and humorous. It will be your pal when you're distraught and teach you how to navigate through a difficult time with your head high. I only wish I had it seven years ago- it would have saved me a lot of time & heartache!
It's written like the authors genuinely care and is must have tlc!

Really, just what you need, 20 Apr 2008
at a time when the bottom of your world has fallen out - particularly when it's through no fault or doing of your own.

My husband of 13 years decided to have a mid life crisis (at the age of 44!) and came home one day, said he wanted his own space and promptly left. The bottom of my world fell out. I suppose to make matters worst, I have MS and am not in a position to just get up and restart a new life elsewhere. So you could say I really felt shafted.

The shock (this happened in the space of 12 hours) and trauma left me reeling and feeling like I was living in a parallel universe. Then a good friend sent me this book and yowza yowza, does it hit home - in a way friends never could.

There are points made here which will leave you cringing (yep, I did that), nodding your head (as in been there, done that) and with the realisation that a. you're not alone, b. other people make complete fools out of themselves and c. no, he's not coming back, yes, it is over and no, the world (or your life) hasn't ended.

If you are at this stage in your life, you need strength, pride and the wherewithal to move on. This book - through its humour, insight and no punches pulled approach will help you achieve that. If you have the physical and mental wherewithal to put what's happened behind you, then do it and use the wisdom this book offers to help you.

very understanding, 17 Aug 2008
A must read in particular for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a broken relationship. This book is written with warmth and compassion to support the hurt you will be feeling.



A light in the dark, 13 Apr 2008
After a 19 year relationship my partner tells me he wants to separate. For several weeks I was in a fog of misery, shock and I was terrified of a future without him. I was crying all the time, unable to sleep and having panic attacks - I had never experienced such a deep dark feeling. Reading this book gave me the first glimmer of light - listening to the CD gave me the first period of calm. It showed me that, although someone else had hurt me, it was I who was continuing to toture myself mentally, and that there are things I can do to break the cycle and recover from this awful event. It gave me a sense of empowerment, where I had felt so helpless. It is not a cure all, but I cannot recommend it highly enough - if you are broken hearted buy it! If you know someone whose heart has been broken - buy it for them!

Broken up? You NEED this book!, 06 Feb 2008
Have this book on standby, because nothing is guaranteed.

I bought this book yesterday and can look forward to changing my destructive patterns, and achieving neutrality. I was the one who ended it, or at least was instrumental in doing so, but now the fog of misery is starting to lift. Listening to the CD has also given me a considerable boost and, for the first time in weeks, I feel calm.

It's full of exercises that help reprogramme the way you look at relationships, giving you the tools to move towards a happy, fulfilling relationship not just with the person of your dreams, but with yourself. Ultimately this is where healthy relationships start! And the next time you embark on a relationship, you'll feel wiser and happier for having all this knowledge, not jaded and cynical. You're worth it.



This book is amazing, 18 Jan 2008
My boyfriend broke up with me 2days after christmas, out of the blue after 4 years together and the past few weeks have been hell.The other day i was given this book by a friend and i read it today.

This is the first time since the breakup that ive been able to feel calm inside. My friends have been helping with kind words and girly nights out etc but Paul Mckenna knows exactly how im feeling and exactly what i need to do to help myself! I feel positive for the first time in 3 weeks about a future without my ex.

The opening pages will make you cry because he identifies with exactly how you are feeling, but from then on he shares the techniques you will need to mend your heart.

Without this book I would have carried on the way i have been, feeling completely distraught, thinking negatively and lacking any motivation to carry on with my life. Im not saying my problem has gone away, im still heartbroken, but after reading the book just once i've completely changed my outlook on things and i know there's a brighter future waiting for me!

Regardless of whether you are male or female and whether you were married for 20 years or in your relationship for 9 months, if you the person you love has ended your relationship then this book is going to help you move on.

Lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, 15 Jan 2008
My wife left me after 25 years of being together. This book was so enlightening when presenting us with the theory of imprinting. It has made me understand why I was the way I was with my wife and why she was the way she was with me, and that our behavior is based on what we learn about relationships from our parents. I have all Paul's books and I am NLP trained myself. But it was difficult for me to adapt the NLP techniques to suit my situation. This book did it for me. As a result I wrote a long letter to my ex outlining what I had learned. We even talked about it. Strangely enough I think, whilst our relationship has ended, we have agreed on something. And that something is contained in this book. If there were more than 5 stars to give this book, I would be giving it 10000.

Cure for the broken heart., 14 Nov 2008
I bought this book after breaking up with my first true love. It made me laugh the whole way through, helping me to get over that eejit and make me see that there's life after a break up - and it only gets better!! Since I didn't die from a broken heart, I bought copies for a number of friends who were threatening to do so and they all thought the book was an essential part of their recovery process. We are now Team Breakup Superfox!! So stop sniffling, let go of the tissue for a minute and use your mouse to click "Buy Now" for this book. That's the way... :-)

PS It's not just for girls, boys like it too.

MY LIFELINE..., 03 Nov 2008
This book has become my new best friend! I go to it when I need advice,support and brutal honesty. It tells you everything you dont want to hear but should know and picks you up when you are at your lowest. I am currently going a difficult seperation and this book has taught me how to keep my dignity and grace in my time of woe. I highly recommend this book to women who are finding losing a partner difficult and need a helping hand. I love the activities in this book it really puts some things into perspective! I'm beginning to wonder what I ever saw in my ex! :)

For serious Superfoxes!, 12 Oct 2008
As someone who is currently suffering from a broken heart this book didn't really start the way I had hoped, by telling me that there was still hope and that he would realise what a mistake he had made and rush back with a huge gesture!
Instead it told the truth. Once that guy has dumped you they really don't want you being crazy lady on them, this book gives you real advice on how to escape from the seriously earth shattering situation of having your heart crushed by someone you love with some remaining dignity.
Let's face it, if they have ended the relationship they weren't all that great anyway, imagine not realising how amazing we are and how lucky they were to have us! Keep your head up, it's hard but you will get through.

Essential Break Up Buddy, 18 Jul 2008
This book is good. It's well written and humorous. It will be your pal when you're distraught and teach you how to navigate through a difficult time with your head high. I only wish I had it seven years ago- it would have saved me a lot of time & heartache!
It's written like the authors genuinely care and is must have tlc!

Really, just what you need, 20 Apr 2008
at a time when the bottom of your world has fallen out - particularly when it's through no fault or doing of your own.

My husband of 13 years decided to have a mid life crisis (at the age of 44!) and came home one day, said he wanted his own space and promptly left. The bottom of my world fell out. I suppose to make matters worst, I have MS and am not in a position to just get up and restart a new life elsewhere. So you could say I really felt shafted.

The shock (this happened in the space of 12 hours) and trauma left me reeling and feeling like I was living in a parallel universe. Then a good friend sent me this book and yowza yowza, does it hit home - in a way friends never could.

There are points made here which will leave you cringing (yep, I did that), nodding your head (as in been there, done that) and with the realisation that a. you're not alone, b. other people make complete fools out of themselves and c. no, he's not coming back, yes, it is over and no, the world (or your life) hasn't ended.

If you are at this stage in your life, you need strength, pride and the wherewithal to move on. This book - through its humour, insight and no punches pulled approach will help you achieve that. If you have the physical and mental wherewithal to put what's happened behind you, then do it and use the wisdom this book offers to help you.

A valuable means of help, 03 Sep 2008
Of all the challenges that can face a married couple, there are few things more difficult than rebuilding some semblance of trust after an act of infidelity has been committed (or, at least, after an act of infidelity has been discovered). While I feel no trace of pride over my affairs (how could I, after all? Most of them have been with absolute munters!) I must admit that there have been a good many since I married Doreen. It was not long into the new millenium that she first caught me out (not bad going on my part, if you consider that I'd actually been putting in my fair share of 'late shifts in the office' since the end of the eighties!). Although I nearly managed to talk my way out of things, unfortunately the intricate web of my deceit came untangled once and for all- when the pharmacist informed Doreen that it wasn't actually very likely that her infection had been picked up from a toilet seat.

After Doreen learned of my infidelity it was a testing time for the both of us (although fortunately the results revealed nothing more serious than an outbreak of 'the clap' and a touch of chlamydia). I'm not sure if our marriage could possibly have held together without the aid of the cogent advice that one finds here. Many lessons were learned on both sides about issues of trust and respect. Perhaps rather surprisingly, our relationship was actually beginning to look more firmly cemented than ever before- at least until the guide had to be retrieved from the shelf some three years later (following an ill-advised drinking contest in the local that pitted me up against the captain of the women's darts team!). Six months on and it was Doreen's turn to be caught with her bloomers down- although, just a few days later, I made darn sure that I was going to have an equal hand in our subsequent return to the book! Still, this is all stretching back a few years into the past. For quite some time now, neither Doreen nor I have had to endure a trip to the bookshelf in order to seek assistance from this guide. These days, we keep it permanently at the ready on the bedside table- for the sake of maximum convenience!

Not comprehensive enough, 27 Jul 2007
This was the first book I bought and although I gained some perspective on what was happening to me and my relationship, it only addresses a few areas in any real depth. Having purchased a few, I can recommend Not Just Friends by Shirley P. Glass as that takes you and your partner through the complete journey of infidelity and beyond regardless of where the two of you end up long term.

Wrong Title, 31 Aug 2004
The book should be titled. Read this to avoid an Affair!
For anybody whose experienced betrayl this is the wrong book to buy. The book is good and well written, but two-thirds of it concern "the different types of affair" and not the essential recovery tools people are looking for.

When to Stop Talking about the Affair?, 07 Jan 2004
After my husband finally admitted a 23 month affair which nevertheless left my devestated I brought this and two other books. I found it invaluable in the 5 days and nights we just talked and talked and talked - more than we had in the previous 10 years of our 18 year marriage/20 year relationship. However now 9 weeks on my husband doesn't want to discuss it anymore as he has buried it but things and situations still come into my mind that I must question - there is nothing in the book to talk about time for the betrayed needing to think aloud

Title summarises the different of types of affairs., 23 Jan 2001
Having been involved in an affair, we took this book as a guide on 'how we can sort this out' and re-establish our relationship and trust.

The book focusses largely on the different types of affairs, and this would be useful to one partner if they are suspusious. However for us there was little in this section that helped us, as none of the types/examples related to our situation.

There is little advise on how to recover a relationship, ie how to really dig down and resolve why it happened, and how you can prevent it from happening again. We put the book down, having read it together and said - what else can we find to help us?

So I thinks its a useful summary of 'why affairs happen', but do not offer much help in rebuilding relationships.

very understanding, 17 Aug 2008
A must read in particular for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a broken relationship. This book is written with warmth and compassion to support the hurt you will be feeling.



A light in the dark, 13 Apr 2008
After a 19 year relationship my partner tells me he wants to separate. For several weeks I was in a fog of misery, shock and I was terrified of a future without him. I was crying all the time, unable to sleep and having panic attacks - I had never experienced such a deep dark feeling. Reading this book gave me the first glimmer of light - listening to the CD gave me the first period of calm. It showed me that, although someone else had hurt me, it was I who was continuing to toture myself mentally, and that there are things I can do to break the cycle and recover from this awful event. It gave me a sense of empowerment, where I had felt so helpless. It is not a cure all, but I cannot recommend it highly enough - if you are broken hearted buy it! If you know someone whose heart has been broken - buy it for them!

Broken up? You NEED this book!, 06 Feb 2008
Have this book on standby, because nothing is guaranteed.

I bought this book yesterday and can look forward to changing my destructive patterns, and achieving neutrality. I was the one who ended it, or at least was instrumental in doing so, but now the fog of misery is starting to lift. Listening to the CD has also given me a considerable boost and, for the first time in weeks, I feel calm.

It's full of exercises that help reprogramme the way you look at relationships, giving you the tools to move towards a happy, fulfilling relationship not just with the person of your dreams, but with yourself. Ultimately this is where healthy relationships start! And the next time you embark on a relationship, you'll feel wiser and happier for having all this knowledge, not jaded and cynical. You're worth it.



This book is amazing, 18 Jan 2008
My boyfriend broke up with me 2days after christmas, out of the blue after 4 years together and the past few weeks have been hell.The other day i was given this book by a friend and i read it today.

This is the first time since the breakup that ive been able to feel calm inside. My friends have been helping with kind words and girly nights out etc but Paul Mckenna knows exactly how im feeling and exactly what i need to do to help myself! I feel positive for the first time in 3 weeks about a future without my ex.

The opening pages will make you cry because he identifies with exactly how you are feeling, but from then on he shares the techniques you will need to mend your heart.

Without this book I would have carried on the way i have been, feeling completely distraught, thinking negatively and lacking any motivation to carry on with my life. Im not saying my problem has gone away, im still heartbroken, but after reading the book just once i've completely changed my outlook on things and i know there's a brighter future waiting for me!

Regardless of whether you are male or female and whether you were married for 20 years or in your relationship for 9 months, if you the person you love has ended your relationship then this book is going to help you move on.

Lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, 15 Jan 2008
My wife left me after 25 years of being together. This book was so enlightening when presenting us with the theory of imprinting. It has made me understand why I was the way I was with my wife and why she was the way she was with me, and that our behavior is based on what we learn about relationships from our parents. I have all Paul's books and I am NLP trained myself. But it was difficult for me to adapt the NLP techniques to suit my situation. This book did it for me. As a result I wrote a long letter to my ex outlining what I had learned. We even talked about it. Strangely enough I think, whilst our relationship has ended, we have agreed on something. And that something is contained in this book. If there were more than 5 stars to give this book, I would be giving it 10000.

Cure for the broken heart., 14 Nov 2008
I bought this book after breaking up with my first true love. It made me laugh the whole way through, helping me to get over that eejit and make me see that there's life after a break up - and it only gets better!! Since I didn't die from a broken heart, I bought copies for a number of friends who were threatening to do so and they all thought the book was an essential part of their recovery process. We are now Team Breakup Superfox!! So stop sniffling, let go of the tissue for a minute and use your mouse to click "Buy Now" for this book. That's the way... :-)

PS It's not just for girls, boys like it too.

MY LIFELINE..., 03 Nov 2008
This book has become my new best friend! I go to it when I need advice,support and brutal honesty. It tells you everything you dont want to hear but should know and picks you up when you are at your lowest. I am currently going a difficult seperation and this book has taught me how to keep my dignity and grace in my time of woe. I highly recommend this book to women who are finding losing a partner difficult and need a helping hand. I love the activities in this book it really puts some things into perspective! I'm beginning to wonder what I ever saw in my ex! :)

For serious Superfoxes!, 12 Oct 2008
As someone who is currently suffering from a broken heart this book didn't really start the way I had hoped, by telling me that there was still hope and that he would realise what a mistake he had made and rush back with a huge gesture!
Instead it told the truth. Once that guy has dumped you they really don't want you being crazy lady on them, this book gives you real advice on how to escape from the seriously earth shattering situation of having your heart crushed by someone you love with some remaining dignity.
Let's face it, if they have ended the relationship they weren't all that great anyway, imagine not realising how amazing we are and how lucky they were to have us! Keep your head up, it's hard but you will get through.

Essential Break Up Buddy, 18 Jul 2008
This book is good. It's well written and humorous. It will be your pal when you're distraught and teach you how to navigate through a difficult time with your head high. I only wish I had it seven years ago- it would have saved me a lot of time & heartache!
It's written like the authors genuinely care and is must have tlc!

Really, just what you need, 20 Apr 2008
at a time when the bottom of your world has fallen out - particularly when it's through no fault or doing of your own.

My husband of 13 years decided to have a mid life crisis (at the age of 44!) and came home one day, said he wanted his own space and promptly left. The bottom of my world fell out. I suppose to make matters worst, I have MS and am not in a position to just get up and restart a new life elsewhere. So you could say I really felt shafted.

The shock (this happened in the space of 12 hours) and trauma left me reeling and feeling like I was living in a parallel universe. Then a good friend sent me this book and yowza yowza, does it hit home - in a way friends never could.

There are points made here which will leave you cringing (yep, I did that), nodding your head (as in been there, done that) and with the realisation that a. you're not alone, b. other people make complete fools out of themselves and c. no, he's not coming back, yes, it is over and no, the world (or your life) hasn't ended.

If you are at this stage in your life, you need strength, pride and the wherewithal to move on. This book - through its humour, insight and no punches pulled approach will help you achieve that. If you have the physical and mental wherewithal to put what's happened behind you, then do it and use the wisdom this book offers to help you.

A valuable means of help, 03 Sep 2008
Of all the challenges that can face a married couple, there are few things more difficult than rebuilding some semblance of trust after an act of infidelity has been committed (or, at least, after an act of infidelity has been discovered). While I feel no trace of pride over my affairs (how could I, after all? Most of them have been with absolute munters!) I must admit that there have been a good many since I married Doreen. It was not long into the new millenium that she first caught me out (not bad going on my part, if you consider that I'd actually been putting in my fair share of 'late shifts in the office' since the end of the eighties!). Although I nearly managed to talk my way out of things, unfortunately the intricate web of my deceit came untangled once and for all- when the pharmacist informed Doreen that it wasn't actually very likely that her infection had been picked up from a toilet seat.

After Doreen learned of my infidelity it was a testing time for the both of us (although fortunately the results revealed nothing more serious than an outbreak of 'the clap' and a touch of chlamydia). I'm not sure if our marriage could possibly have held together without the aid of the cogent advice that one finds here. Many lessons were learned on both sides about issues of trust and respect. Perhaps rather surprisingly, our relationship was actually beginning to look more firmly cemented than ever before- at least until the guide had to be retrieved from the shelf some three years later (following an ill-advised drinking contest in the local that pitted me up against the captain of the women's darts team!). Six months on and it was Doreen's turn to be caught with her bloomers down- although, just a few days later, I made darn sure that I was going to have an equal hand in our subsequent return to the book! Still, this is all stretching back a few years into the past. For quite some time now, neither Doreen nor I have had to endure a trip to the bookshelf in order to seek assistance from this guide. These days, we keep it permanently at the ready on the bedside table- for the sake of maximum convenience!

Not comprehensive enough, 27 Jul 2007
This was the first book I bought and although I gained some perspective on what was happening to me and my relationship, it only addresses a few areas in any real depth. Having purchased a few, I can recommend Not Just Friends by Shirley P. Glass as that takes you and your partner through the complete journey of infidelity and beyond regardless of where the two of you end up long term.

Wrong Title, 31 Aug 2004
The book should be titled. Read this to avoid an Affair!
For anybody whose experienced betrayl this is the wrong book to buy. The book is good and well written, but two-thirds of it concern "the different types of affair" and not the essential recovery tools people are looking for.

When to Stop Talking about the Affair?, 07 Jan 2004
After my husband finally admitted a 23 month affair which nevertheless left my devestated I brought this and two other books. I found it invaluable in the 5 days and nights we just talked and talked and talked - more than we had in the previous 10 years of our 18 year marriage/20 year relationship. However now 9 weeks on my husband doesn't want to discuss it anymore as he has buried it but things and situations still come into my mind that I must question - there is nothing in the book to talk about time for the betrayed needing to think aloud

Title summarises the different of types of affairs., 23 Jan 2001
Having been involved in an affair, we took this book as a guide on 'how we can sort this out' and re-establish our relationship and trust.

The book focusses largely on the different types of affairs, and this would be useful to one partner if they are suspusious. However for us there was little in this section that helped us, as none of the types/examples related to our situation.

There is little advise on how to recover a relationship, ie how to really dig down and resolve why it happened, and how you can prevent it from happening again. We put the book down, having read it together and said - what else can we find to help us?

So I thinks its a useful summary of 'why affairs happen', but do not offer much help in rebuilding relationships.

Utterly fantastic, 28 Jan 2006
Jargon free, logical and totally on the money, this is one of the best relationship self help books I've read. It was refershing to find something written for a British audience with familiar cultural points-of-reference that the American books lack, and the common sense analysis will help you focus on what you already know is going wrong, and what you already know you have to do.
Utterly recommended.

Structured and soothing common sense advice, 06 Jan 2005
I agree with the other review shown but thought I'd add another as that one was written a few years ago.

I found that this book mainly told me what I already knew, but I still found it very useful. Reading through it chapter by chapter helped me to clarify my thoughts and feelings, and to think about the various options open to me and their likely outcomes.

I found the book reassuring, and would recommend it to anyone who thinks that their relationship may be nearing an end.

Very clear and concise. The best of the relate series., 28 Nov 2001
Excellent! It has changed my outlook on life to a more realistic and enjoyable one!

Suzie Hayman writes this book with clarity and practical advice, backed up with factual research.

I would recommend this book to anyone considering a relationship, or in a relationship (practically everyone). It's essential reading for anyone wishing to adopt a healthy, open-minded, 'preventative' coping mechanism to enjoy life in the happiest of ways. Making the most of relationships is what this book is all about, and moving on when the time is right (a healthy trend in society at large)!

The content is an all-encompassing view of everyone involved in relationships: mums, dads, children, step-parents, step-children and everyone else's views and opinions (friends and further relatives); and the likely effect of their views in a rapidly changing society with increasingly complicated family structures.

A must-have!

very understanding, 17 Aug 2008
A must read in particular for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a broken relationship. This book is written with warmth and compassion to support the hurt you will be feeling.



A light in the dark, 13 Apr 2008
After a 19 year relationship my partner tells me he wants to separate. For several weeks I was in a fog of misery, shock and I was terrified of a future without him. I was crying all the time, unable to sleep and having panic attacks - I had never experienced such a deep dark feeling. Reading this book gave me the first glimmer of light - listening to the CD gave me the first period of calm. It showed me that, although someone else had hurt me, it was I who was continuing to toture myself mentally, and that there are things I can do to break the cycle and recover from this awful event. It gave me a sense of empowerment, where I had felt so helpless. It is not a cure all, but I cannot recommend it highly enough - if you are broken hearted buy it! If you know someone whose heart has been broken - buy it for them!

Broken up? You NEED this book!, 06 Feb 2008
Have this book on standby, because nothing is guaranteed.

I bought this book yesterday and can look forward to changing my destructive patterns, and achieving neutrality. I was the one who ended it, or at least was instrumental in doing so, but now the fog of misery is starting to lift. Listening to the CD has also given me a considerable boost and, for the first time in weeks, I feel calm.

It's full of exercises that help reprogramme the way you look at relationships, giving you the tools to move towards a happy, fulfilling relationship not just with the person of your dreams, but with yourself. Ultimately this is where healthy relationships start! And the next time you embark on a relationship, you'll feel wiser and happier for having all this knowledge, not jaded and cynical. You're worth it.



This book is amazing, 18 Jan 2008
My boyfriend broke up with me 2days after christmas, out of the blue after 4 years together and the past few weeks have been hell.The other day i was given this book by a friend and i read it today.

This is the first time since the breakup that ive been able to feel calm inside. My friends have been helping with kind words and girly nights out etc but Paul Mckenna knows exactly how im feeling and exactly what i need to do to help myself! I feel positive for the first time in 3 weeks about a future without my ex.

The opening pages will make you cry because he identifies with exactly how you are feeling, but from then on he shares the techniques you will need to mend your heart.

Without this book I would have carried on the way i have been, feeling completely distraught, thinking negatively and lacking any motivation to carry on with my life. Im not saying my problem has gone away, im still heartbroken, but after reading the book just once i've completely changed my outlook on things and i know there's a brighter future waiting for me!

Regardless of whether you are male or female and whether you were married for 20 years or in your relationship for 9 months, if you the person you love has ended your relationship then this book is going to help you move on.

Lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, 15 Jan 2008
My wife left me after 25 years of being together. This book was so enlightening when presenting us with the theory of imprinting. It has made me understand why I was the way I was with my wife and why she was the way she was with me, and that our behavior is based on what we learn about relationships from our parents. I have all Paul's books and I am NLP trained myself. But it was difficult for me to adapt the NLP techniques to suit my situation. This book did it for me. As a result I wrote a long letter to my ex outlining what I had learned. We even talked about it. Strangely enough I think, whilst our relationship has ended, we have agreed on something. And that something is contained in this book. If there were more than 5 stars to give this book, I would be giving it 10000.

Cure for the broken heart., 14 Nov 2008
I bought this book after breaking up with my first true love. It made me laugh the whole way through, helping me to get over that eejit and make me see that there's life after a break up - and it only gets better!! Since I didn't die from a broken heart, I bought copies for a number of friends who were threatening to do so and they all thought the book was an essential part of their recovery process. We are now Team Breakup Superfox!! So stop sniffling, let go of the tissue for a minute and use your mouse to click "Buy Now" for this book. That's the way... :-)

PS It's not just for girls, boys like it too.

MY LIFELINE..., 03 Nov 2008
This book has become my new best friend! I go to it when I need advice,support and brutal honesty. It tells you everything you dont want to hear but should know and picks you up when you are at your lowest. I am currently going a difficult seperation and this book has taught me how to keep my dignity and grace in my time of woe. I highly recommend this book to women who are finding losing a partner difficult and need a helping hand. I love the activities in this book it really puts some things into perspective! I'm beginning to wonder what I ever saw in my ex! :)

For serious Superfoxes!, 12 Oct 2008
As someone who is currently suffering from a broken heart this book didn't really start the way I had hoped, by telling me that there was still hope and that he would realise what a mistake he had made and rush back with a huge gesture!
Instead it told the truth. Once that guy has dumped you they really don't want you being crazy lady on them, this book gives you real advice on how to escape from the seriously earth shattering situation of having your heart crushed by someone you love with some remaining dignity.
Let's face it, if they have ended the relationship they weren't all that great anyway, imagine not realising how amazing we are and how lucky they were to have us! Keep your head up, it's hard but you will get through.

Essential Break Up Buddy, 18 Jul 2008
This book is good. It's well written and humorous. It will be your pal when you're distraught and teach you how to navigate through a difficult time with your head high. I only wish I had it seven years ago- it would have saved me a lot of time & heartache!
It's written like the authors genuinely care and is must have tlc!

Really, just what you need, 20 Apr 2008
at a time when the bottom of your world has fallen out - particularly when it's through no fault or doing of your own.

My husband of 13 years decided to have a mid life crisis (at the age of 44!) and came home one day, said he wanted his own space and promptly left. The bottom of my world fell out. I suppose to make matters worst, I have MS and am not in a position to just get up and restart a new life elsewhere. So you could say I really felt shafted.

The shock (this happened in the space of 12 hours) and trauma left me reeling and feeling like I was living in a parallel universe. Then a good friend sent me this book and yowza yowza, does it hit home - in a way friends never could.

There are points made here which will leave you cringing (yep, I did that), nodding your head (as in been there, done that) and with the realisation that a. you're not alone, b. other people make complete fools out of themselves and c. no, he's not coming back, yes, it is over and no, the world (or your life) hasn't ended.

If you are at this stage in your life, you need strength, pride and the wherewithal to move on. This book - through its humour, insight and no punches pulled approach will help you achieve that. If you have the physical and mental wherewithal to put what's happened behind you, then do it and use the wisdom this book offers to help you.

A valuable means of help, 03 Sep 2008
Of all the challenges that can face a married couple, there are few things more difficult than rebuilding some semblance of trust after an act of infidelity has been committed (or, at least, after an act of infidelity has been discovered). While I feel no trace of pride over my affairs (how could I, after all? Most of them have been with absolute munters!) I must admit that there have been a good many since I married Doreen. It was not long into the new millenium that she first caught me out (not bad going on my part, if you consider that I'd actually been putting in my fair share of 'late shifts in the office' since the end of the eighties!). Although I nearly managed to talk my way out of things, unfortunately the intricate web of my deceit came untangled once and for all- when the pharmacist informed Doreen that it wasn't actually very likely that her infection had been picked up from a toilet seat.

After Doreen learned of my infidelity it was a testing time for the both of us (although fortunately the results revealed nothing more serious than an outbreak of 'the clap' and a touch of chlamydia). I'm not sure if our marriage could possibly have held together without the aid of the cogent advice that one finds here. Many lessons were learned on both sides about issues of trust and respect. Perhaps rather surprisingly, our relationship was actually beginning to look more firmly cemented than ever before- at least until the guide had to be retrieved from the shelf some three years later (following an ill-advised drinking contest in the local that pitted me up against the captain of the women's darts team!). Six months on and it was Doreen's turn to be caught with her bloomers down- although, just a few days later, I made darn sure that I was going to have an equal hand in our subsequent return to the book! Still, this is all stretching back a few years into the past. For quite some time now, neither Doreen nor I have had to endure a trip to the bookshelf in order to seek assistance from this guide. These days, we keep it permanently at the ready on the bedside table- for the sake of maximum convenience!

Not comprehensive enough, 27 Jul 2007
This was the first book I bought and although I gained some perspective on what was happening to me and my relationship, it only addresses a few areas in any real depth. Having purchased a few, I can recommend Not Just Friends by Shirley P. Glass as that takes you and your partner through the complete journey of infidelity and beyond regardless of where the two of you end up long term.

Wrong Title, 31 Aug 2004
The book should be titled. Read this to avoid an Affair!
For anybody whose experienced betrayl this is the wrong book to buy. The book is good and well written, but two-thirds of it concern "the different types of affair" and not the essential recovery tools people are looking for.

When to Stop Talking about the Affair?, 07 Jan 2004
After my husband finally admitted a 23 month affair which nevertheless left my devestated I brought this and two other books. I found it invaluable in the 5 days and nights we just talked and talked and talked - more than we had in the previous 10 years of our 18 year marriage/20 year relationship. However now 9 weeks on my husband doesn't want to discuss it anymore as he has buried it but things and situations still come into my mind that I must question - there is nothing in the book to talk about time for the betrayed needing to think aloud

Title summarises the different of types of affairs., 23 Jan 2001
Having been involved in an affair, we took this book as a guide on 'how we can sort this out' and re-establish our relationship and trust.

The book focusses largely on the different types of affairs, and this would be useful to one partner if they are suspusious. However for us there was little in this section that helped us, as none of the types/examples related to our situation.

There is little advise on how to recover a relationship, ie how to really dig down and resolve why it happened, and how you can prevent it from happening again. We put the book down, having read it together and said - what else can we find to help us?

So I thinks its a useful summary of 'why affairs happen', but do not offer much help in rebuilding relationships.

Utterly fantastic, 28 Jan 2006
Jargon free, logical and totally on the money, this is one of the best relationship self help books I've read. It was refershing to find something written for a British audience with familiar cultural points-of-reference that the American books lack, and the common sense analysis will help you focus on what you already know is going wrong, and what you already know you have to do.
Utterly recommended.

Structured and soothing common sense advice, 06 Jan 2005
I agree with the other review shown but thought I'd add another as that one was written a few years ago.

I found that this book mainly told me what I already knew, but I still found it very useful. Reading through it chapter by chapter helped me to clarify my thoughts and feelings, and to think about the various options open to me and their likely outcomes.

I found the book reassuring, and would recommend it to anyone who thinks that their relationship may be nearing an end.

Very clear and concise. The best of the relate series., 28 Nov 2001
Excellent! It has changed my outlook on life to a more realistic and enjoyable one!

Suzie Hayman writes this book with clarity and practical advice, backed up with factual research.

I would recommend this book to anyone considering a relationship, or in a relationship (practically everyone). It's essential reading for anyone wishing to adopt a healthy, open-minded, 'preventative' coping mechanism to enjoy life in the happiest of ways. Making the most of relationships is what this book is all about, and moving on when the time is right (a healthy trend in society at large)!

The content is an all-encompassing view of everyone involved in relationships: mums, dads, children, step-parents, step-children and everyone else's views and opinions (friends and further relatives); and the likely effect of their views in a rapidly changing society with increasingly complicated family structures.

A must-have!

A good book to learn how to move on after a breakup, 20 Nov 2002
A nice book with advices about how to move on after a breakup, and the way you'll heal. What to do to meet new people and start a new loving life.

A great ' first ' to turn to when the unimaginable happens., 13 May 2002
This was the first book to catch my eye in the bookstore when I found myself alone after over 20 yrs. of marriage and was utterly devestated.
It became my 'bible', beside my bed. I highlighted all the bits about how to create happiness in your life, reread them constantly.
Alot of the ideas about being responsible for creating your own happiness were new to me and I didn't immediately understand, it took some time. The chapters on 'what went wrong' were too painful initially, but the right time came and then they made sense too. The chapters on beginning a new relationship are as yet untested!
Since that time, over 2 yrs. ago, I've gone on to read books going into much greater depth on these issues, but this first one that I turned to, and still turn to, has a special place.
It was the turning point for me to look at my life in a completely different way, at what is important for me and what my values are(not my x partner's-not always that easy to work out after a long relationship).
I highly recommend this book, it covers a wide area, from before the break-up, to step-families in the new relationship; so I think that many people would want to expand their reading after this book. But it certainly inspired me to believe that there is a future. If your partner has left, or you have left them, you can make a good life; this book can certainly set you on the path.

A great support, 15 Feb 2002
I bought this book because I wanted to know that all my feelings were 'normal'. Sarah Litvinoff tells us that all those 'pinball emotions' are just that: normal!

This book gave me a lot of strength during a particularly devastating time - I thoroughly recommend it.

Exellent guide for the newly separated/divorced, 09 Oct 2001
Bought this book because I wanted a bit of a guide on how to deal with my two children after my husband and I divorced. He has moved about 200 miles away and I wanted some hints on how to "do it right" in relation to them being brought up in a newly single parent family. The book covers many aspects of moving on - The end of a relationship/Coming to terms with loss/What went wrong/The children/New social life/the introduction of a new partner ..... It explains how children of different ages view divorce and separation, and for those of you who do not have children I would still recommend it as it goes through many "relationship types" and how to avoid making the same mistakes again.

It is in my handbag and if I come across a problem I refer to it and it gives me confidence, comfort and courage to soldier on!

Support & understanding for pain/rejection at being dumped, 29 Jun 2000
I kept asking myself how could I go on without my love and this showed me the stages relationships move through and how not to repeat the same mistakes. Only when I read this book did I start to come to terms with being dumped - my loneliness, betrayal, lack of confidence and lack of trust. It gave me something to build on. An excellent buy.

very understanding, 17 Aug 2008
A must read in particular for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a broken relationship. This book is written with warmth and compassion to support the hurt you will be feeling.



A light in the dark, 13 Apr 2008
After a 19 year relationship my partner tells me he wants to separate. For several weeks I was in a fog of misery, shock and I was terrified of a future without him. I was crying all the time, unable to sleep and having panic attacks - I had never experienced such a deep dark feeling. Reading this book gave me the first glimmer of light - listening to the CD gave me the first period of calm. It showed me that, although someone else had hurt me, it was I who was continuing to toture myself mentally, and that there are things I can do to break the cycle and recover from this awful event. It gave me a sense of empowerment, where I had felt so helpless. It is not a cure all, but I cannot recommend it highly enough - if you are broken hearted buy it! If you know someone whose heart has been broken - buy it for them!

Broken up? You NEED this book!, 06 Feb 2008
Have this book on standby, because nothing is guaranteed.

I bought this book yesterday and can look forward to changing my destructive patterns, and achieving neutrality. I was the one who ended it, or at least was instrumental in doing so, but now the fog of misery is starting to lift. Listening to the CD has also given me a considerable boost and, for the first time in weeks, I feel calm.

It's full of exercises that help reprogramme the way you look at relationships, giving you the tools to move towards a happy, fulfilling relationship not just with the person of your dreams, but with yourself. Ultimately this is where healthy relationships start! And the next time you embark on a relationship, you'll feel wiser and happier for having all this knowledge, not jaded and cynical. You're worth it.



This book is amazing, 18 Jan 2008
My boyfriend broke up with me 2days after christmas, out of the blue after 4 years together and the past few weeks have been hell.The other day i was given this book by a friend and i read it today.

This is the first time since the breakup that ive been able to feel calm inside. My friends have been helping with kind words and girly nights out etc but Paul Mckenna knows exactly how im feeling and exactly what i need to do to help myself! I feel positive for the first time in 3 weeks about a future without my ex.

The opening pages will make you cry because he identifies with exactly how you are feeling, but from then on he shares the techniques you will need to mend your heart.

Without this book I would have carried on the way i have been, feeling completely distraught, thinking negatively and lacking any motivation to carry on with my life. Im not saying my problem has gone away, im still heartbroken, but after reading the book just once i've completely changed my outlook on things and i know there's a brighter future waiting for me!

Regardless of whether you are male or female and whether you were married for 20 years or in your relationship for 9 months, if you the person you love has ended your relationship then this book is going to help you move on.

Lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, 15 Jan 2008
My wife left me after 25 years of being together. This book was so enlightening when presenting us with the theory of imprinting. It has made me understand why I was the way I was with my wife and why she was the way she was with me, and that our behavior is based on what we learn about relationships from our parents. I have all Paul's books and I am NLP trained myself. But it was difficult for me to adapt the NLP techniques to suit my situation. This book did it for me. As a result I wrote a long letter to my ex outlining what I had learned. We even talked about it. Strangely enough I think, whilst our relationship has ended, we have agreed on something. And that something is contained in this book. If there were more than 5 stars to give this book, I would be giving it 10000.

Cure for the broken heart., 14 Nov 2008
I bought this book after breaking up with my first true love. It made me laugh the whole way through, helping me to get over that eejit and make me see that there's life after a break up - and it only gets better!! Since I didn't die from a broken heart, I bought copies for a number of friends who were threatening to do so and they all thought the book was an essential part of their recovery process. We are now Team Breakup Superfox!! So stop sniffling, let go of the tissue for a minute and use your mouse to click "Buy Now" for this book. That's the way... :-)

PS It's not just for girls, boys like it too.

MY LIFELINE..., 03 Nov 2008
This book has become my new best friend! I go to it when I need advice,support and brutal honesty. It tells you everything you dont want to hear but should know and picks you up when you are at your lowest. I am currently going a difficult seperation and this book has taught me how to keep my dignity and grace in my time of woe. I highly recommend this book to women who are finding losing a partner difficult and need a helping hand. I love the activities in this book it really puts some things into perspective! I'm beginning to wonder what I ever saw in my ex! :)

For serious Superfoxes!, 12 Oct 2008
As someone who is currently suffering from a broken heart this book didn't really start the way I had hoped, by telling me that there was still hope and that he would realise what a mistake he had made and rush back with a huge gesture!
Instead it told the truth. Once that guy has dumped you they really don't want you being crazy lady on them, this book gives you real advice on how to escape from the seriously earth shattering situation of having your heart crushed by someone you love with some remaining dignity.
Let's face it, if they have ended the relationship they weren't all that great anyway, imagine not realising how amazing we are and how lucky they were to have us! Keep your head up, it's hard but you will get through.

Essential Break Up Buddy, 18 Jul 2008
This book is good. It's well written and humorous. It will be your pal when you're distraught and teach you how to navigate through a difficult time with your head high. I only wish I had it seven years ago- it would have saved me a lot of time & heartache!
It's written like the authors genuinely care and is must have tlc!

Really, just what you need, 20 Apr 2008
at a time when the bottom of your world has fallen out - particularly when it's through no fault or doing of your own.

My husband of 13 years decided to have a mid life crisis (at the age of 44!) and came home one day, said he wanted his own space and promptly left. The bottom of my world fell out. I suppose to make matters worst, I have MS and am not in a position to just get up and restart a new life elsewhere. So you could say I really felt shafted.

The shock (this happened in the space of 12 hours) and trauma left me reeling and feeling like I was living in a parallel universe. Then a good friend sent me this book and yowza yowza, does it hit home - in a way friends never could.

There are points made here which will leave you cringing (yep, I did that), nodding your head (as in been there, done that) and with the realisation that a. you're not alone, b. other people make complete fools out of themselves and c. no, he's not coming back, yes, it is over and no, the world (or your life) hasn't ended.

If you are at this stage in your life, you need strength, pride and the wherewithal to move on. This book - through its humour, insight and no punches pulled approach will help you achieve that. If you have the physical and mental wherewithal to put what's happened behind you, then do it and use the wisdom this book offers to help you.

A valuable means of help, 03 Sep 2008
Of all the challenges that can face a married couple, there are few things more difficult than rebuilding some semblance of trust after an act of infidelity has been committed (or, at least, after an act of infidelity has been discovered). While I feel no trace of pride over my affairs (how could I, after all? Most of them have been with absolute munters!) I must admit that there have been a good many since I married Doreen. It was not long into the new millenium that she first caught me out (not bad going on my part, if you consider that I'd actually been putting in my fair share of 'late shifts in the office' since the end of the eighties!). Although I nearly managed to talk my way out of things, unfortunately the intricate web of my deceit came untangled once and for all- when the pharmacist informed Doreen that it wasn't actually very likely that her infection had been picked up from a toilet seat.

After Doreen learned of my infidelity it was a testing time for the both of us (although fortunately the results revealed nothing more serious than an outbreak of 'the clap' and a touch of chlamydia). I'm not sure if our marriage could possibly have held together without the aid of the cogent advice that one finds here. Many lessons were learned on both sides about issues of trust and respect. Perhaps rather surprisingly, our relationship was actually beginning to look more firmly cemented than ever before- at least until the guide had to be retrieved from the shelf some three years later (following an ill-advised drinking contest in the local that pitted me up against the captain of the women's darts team!). Six months on and it was Doreen's turn to be caught with her bloomers down- although, just a few days later, I made darn sure that I was going to have an equal hand in our subsequent return to the book! Still, this is all stretching back a few years into the past. For quite some time now, neither Doreen nor I have had to endure a trip to the bookshelf in order to seek assistance from this guide. These days, we keep it permanently at the ready on the bedside table- for the sake of maximum convenience!

Not comprehensive enough, 27 Jul 2007
This was the first book I bought and although I gained some perspective on what was happening to me and my relationship, it only addresses a few areas in any real depth. Having purchased a few, I can recommend Not Just Friends by Shirley P. Glass as that takes you and your partner through the complete journey of infidelity and beyond regardless of where the two of you end up long term.

Wrong Title, 31 Aug 2004
The book should be titled. Read this to avoid an Affair!
For anybody whose experienced betrayl this is the wrong book to buy. The book is good and well written, but two-thirds of it concern "the different types of affair" and not the essential recovery tools people are looking for.

When to Stop Talking about the Affair?, 07 Jan 2004
After my husband finally admitted a 23 month affair which nevertheless left my devestated I brought this and two other books. I found it invaluable in the 5 days and nights we just talked and talked and talked - more than we had in the previous 10 years of our 18 year marriage/20 year relationship. However now 9 weeks on my husband doesn't want to discuss it anymore as he has buried it but things and situations still come into my mind that I must question - there is nothing in the book to talk about time for the betrayed needing to think aloud

Title summarises the different of types of affairs., 23 Jan 2001
Having been involved in an affair, we took this book as a guide on 'how we can sort this out' and re-establish our relationship and trust.

The book focusses largely on the different types of affairs, and this would be useful to one partner if they are suspusious. However for us there was little in this section that helped us, as none of the types/examples related to our situation.

There is little advise on how to recover a relationship, ie how to really dig down and resolve why it happened, and how you can prevent it from happening again. We put the book down, having read it together and said - what else can we find to help us?

So I thinks its a useful summary of 'why affairs happen', but do not offer much help in rebuilding relationships.

Utterly fantastic, 28 Jan 2006
Jargon free, logical and totally on the money, this is one of the best relationship self help books I've read. It was refershing to find something written for a British audience with familiar cultural points-of-reference that the American books lack, and the common sense analysis will help you focus on what you already know is going wrong, and what you already know you have to do.
Utterly recommended.

Structured and soothing common sense advice, 06 Jan 2005
I agree with the other review shown but thought I'd add another as that one was written a few years ago.

I found that this book mainly told me what I already knew, but I still found it very useful. Reading through it chapter by chapter helped me to clarify my thoughts and feelings, and to think about the various options open to me and their likely outcomes.

I found the book reassuring, and would recommend it to anyone who thinks that their relationship may be nearing an end.

Very clear and concise. The best of the relate series., 28 Nov 2001
Excellent! It has changed my outlook on life to a more realistic and enjoyable one!

Suzie Hayman writes this book with clarity and practical advice, backed up with factual research.

I would recommend this book to anyone considering a relationship, or in a relationship (practically everyone). It's essential reading for anyone wishing to adopt a healthy, open-minded, 'preventative' coping mechanism to enjoy life in the happiest of ways. Making the most of relationships is what this book is all about, and moving on when the time is right (a healthy trend in society at large)!

The content is an all-encompassing view of everyone involved in relationships: mums, dads, children, step-parents, step-children and everyone else's views and opinions (friends and further relatives); and the likely effect of their views in a rapidly changing society with increasingly complicated family structures.

A must-have!

A good book to learn how to move on after a breakup, 20 Nov 2002
A nice book with advices about how to move on after a breakup, and the way you'll heal. What to do to meet new people and start a new loving life.

A great ' first ' to turn to when the unimaginable happens., 13 May 2002
This was the first book to catch my eye in the bookstore when I found myself alone after over 20 yrs. of marriage and was utterly devestated.
It became my 'bible', beside my bed. I highlighted all the bits about how to create happiness in your life, reread them constantly.
Alot of the ideas about being responsible for creating your own happiness were new to me and I didn't immediately understand, it took some time. The chapters on 'what went wrong' were too painful initially, but the right time came and then they made sense too. The chapters on beginning a new relationship are as yet untested!
Since that time, over 2 yrs. ago, I've gone on to read books going into much greater depth on these issues, but this first one that I turned to, and still turn to, has a special place.
It was the turning point for me to look at my life in a completely different way, at what is important for me and what my values are(not my x partner's-not always that easy to work out after a long relationship).
I highly recommend this book, it covers a wide area, from before the break-up, to step-families in the new relationship; so I think that many people would want to expand their reading after this book. But it certainly inspired me to believe that there is a future. If your partner has left, or you have left them, you can make a good life; this book can certainly set you on the path.

A great support, 15 Feb 2002
I bought this book because I wanted to know that all my feelings were 'normal'. Sarah Litvinoff tells us that all those 'pinball emotions' are just that: normal!

This book gave me a lot of strength during a particularly devastating time - I thoroughly recommend it.

Exellent guide for the newly separated/divorced, 09 Oct 2001
Bought this book because I wanted a bit of a guide on how to deal with my two children after my husband and I divorced. He has moved about 200 miles away and I wanted some hints on how to "do it right" in relation to them being brought up in a newly single parent family. The book covers many aspects of moving on - The end of a relationship/Coming to terms with loss/What went wrong/The children/New social life/the introduction of a new partner ..... It explains how children of different ages view divorce and separation, and for those of you who do not have children I would still recommend it as it goes through many "relationship types" and how to avoid making the same mistakes again.

It is in my handbag and if I come across a problem I refer to it and it gives me confidence, comfort and courage to soldier on!

Support & understanding for pain/rejection at being dumped, 29 Jun 2000
I kept asking myself how could I go on without my love and this showed me the stages relationships move through and how not to repeat the same mistakes. Only when I read this book did I start to come to terms with being dumped - my loneliness, betrayal, lack of confidence and lack of trust. It gave me something to build on. An excellent buy.

Not exactly reality, 27 Aug 2008
I suppose this is a good read for those who want a textbook version of reality, but this book aint reality. Im going through a messy divorce as I type and what the book doesnt tell you is how bl**dy slow the whole process is, and the fact that legal aid solicitors take their time and barely do anything for you (forget trying to get any court order or speedy reply or appointment, this is the NHS of law), and how the system screws women who leave abusive men from just about every angle.

I have been to citizens advice bureau, who wasted my time, twice (and it took ages to get through), I have been through 3 solicitors because the first two gave me reckless advice more concerned with costs than helping me with my case, our first mediator was biased in favour of my ex and she mispresented a session to my solicitor deliberately, the list goes on.

Point being, yeah, its a guide, like a guide to childbirth. but the true horror and the knowledge of what divorce with a bitter ex is really like can only be known by going through it.

Domestic abuse? even the police turned on me when I asked them for help.

CSA? they work as slowly as solicitors.

On benefit? Expect to be grilled every turn and its a full time job just keeping your benefit coming in.

Expect to get an injunction if youre on legal aid? not a chance.

oh and the final screw to you - as long as you have an 'interest' in the marital home, you dont qualify for council housing or home share schemes, and selling the marital home can take years so I hope you're happy paying rent.

if you havent left your partner yet, think about it very carefully. my case i am glad i left, but be ready for the s**t to hit the fan and feel totally and utterly without support or rights because that is what the book dont tell u but it is what i am telling you and it is reality.

bw

Useful, 05 Sep 2007
A very clear and simple path through some of the legal stuff in divorce. I read this together with FAMILY COURT HELL by Mark Harris. FAMILY COURT HELL is a story of Britain's Worst Access Case ever, which explicitly details how bad child access cases can become if mother does not want to co operate. By reading both, a [slightly!] clearer picture emerges as to what not to do! Buy both if you can.

very understanding, 17 Aug 2008
A must read in particular for anyone who is having trouble moving on from a broken relationship. This book is written with warmth and compassion to support the hurt you will be feeling.



A light in the dark, 13 Apr 2008
After a 19 year relationship my partner tells me he wants to separate. For several weeks I was in a fog of misery, shock and I was terrified of a future without him. I was crying all the time, unable to sleep and having panic attacks - I had never experienced such a deep dark feeling. Reading this book gave me the first glimmer of light - listening to the CD gave me the first period of calm. It showed me that, although someone else had hurt me, it was I who was continuing to toture myself mentally, and that there are things I can do to break the cycle and recover from this awful event. It gave me a sense of empowerment, where I had felt so helpless. It is not a cure all, but I cannot recommend it highly enough - if you are broken hearted buy it! If you know someone whose heart has been broken - buy it for them!

Broken up? You NEED this book!, 06 Feb 2008
Have this book on standby, because nothing is guaranteed.

I bought this book yesterday and can look forward to changing my destructive patterns, and achieving neutrality. I was the one who ended it, or at least was instrumental in doing so, but now the fog of misery is starting to lift. Listening to the CD has also given me a considerable boost and, for the first time in weeks, I feel calm.

It's full of exercises that help reprogramme the way you look at relationships, giving you the tools to move towards a happy, fulfilling relationship not just with the person of your dreams, but with yourself. Ultimately this is where healthy relationships start! And the next time you embark on a relationship, you'll feel wiser and happier for having all this knowledge, not jaded and cynical. You're worth it.



This book is amazing, 18 Jan 2008
My boyfriend broke up with me 2days after christmas, out of the blue after 4 years together and the past few weeks have been hell.The other day i was given this book by a friend and i read it today.

This is the first time since the breakup that ive been able to feel calm inside. My friends have been helping with kind words and girly nights out etc but Paul Mckenna knows exactly how im feeling and exactly what i need to do to help myself! I feel positive for the first time in 3 weeks about a future without my ex.

The opening pages will make you cry because he identifies with exactly how you are feeling, but from then on he shares the techniques you will need to mend your heart.

Without this book I would have carried on the way i have been, feeling completely distraught, thinking negatively and lacking any motivation to carry on with my life. Im not saying my problem has gone away, im still heartbroken, but after reading the book just once i've completely changed my outlook on things and i know there's a brighter future waiting for me!

Regardless of whether you are male or female and whether you were married for 20 years or in your relationship for 9 months, if you the person you love has ended your relationship then this book is going to help you move on.

Lift the weight of the world off your shoulders, 15 Jan 2008
My wife left me after 25 years of being together. This book was so enlightening when presenting us with the theory of imprinting. It has made me understand why I was the way I was with my wife and why she was the way she was with me, and that our behavior is based on what we learn about relationships from our parents. I have all Paul's books and I am NLP trained myself. But it was difficult for me to adapt the NLP techniques to suit my situation. This book did it for me. As a result I wrote a long letter to my ex outlining what I had learned. We even talked about it. Strangely enough I think, whilst our relationship has ended, we have agreed on something. And that something is contained in this book. If there were more than 5 stars to give this book, I would be giving it 10000.

Cure for the broken heart., 14 Nov 2008
I bought this book after breaking up with my first true love. It made me laugh the whole way through, helping me to get over that eejit and make me see that there's life after a break up - and it only gets better!! Since I didn't die from a broken heart, I bought copies for a number of friends who were threatening to do so and they all thought the book was an essential part of their recovery process. We are now Team Breakup Superfox!! So stop sniffling, let go of the tissue for a minute and use your mouse to click "Buy Now" for this book. That's the way... :-)

PS It's not just for girls, boys like it too.

MY LIFELINE..., 03 Nov 2008
This book has become my new best friend! I go to it when I need advice,support and brutal honesty. It tells you everything you dont want to hear but should know and picks you up when you are at your lowest. I am currently going a difficult seperation and this book has taught me how to keep my dignity and grace in my time of woe. I highly recommend this book to women who are finding losing a partner difficult and need a helping hand. I love the activities in this book it really puts some things into perspective! I'm beginning to wonder what I ever saw in my ex! :)

For serious Superfoxes!, 12 Oct 2008
As someone who is currently suffering from a broken heart this book didn't really start the way I had hoped, by telling me that there was still hope and that he would realise what a mistake he had made and rush back with a huge gesture!
Instead it told the truth. Once that guy has dumped you they really don't want you being crazy lady on them, this book gives you real advice on how to escape from the seriously earth shattering situation of having your heart crushed by someone you love with some remaining dignity.
Let's face it, if they have ended the relationship they weren't all that great anyway, imagine not realising how amazing we are and how lucky they were to have us! Keep your head up, it's hard but you will get through.

Essential Break Up Buddy, 18 Jul 2008
This book is good. It's well written and humorous. It will be your pal when you're distraught and teach you how to navigate through a difficult time with your head high. I only wish I had it seven years ago- it would have saved me a lot of time & heartache!
It's written like the authors genuinely care and is must have tlc!

Really, just what you need, 20 Apr 2008
at a time when the bottom of your world has fallen out - particularly when it's through no fault or doing of your own.

My husband of 13 years decided to have a mid life crisis (at the age of 44!) and came home one day, said he wanted his own space and promptly left. The bottom of my world fell out. I suppose to make matters worst, I have MS and am not in a position to just get up and restart a new life elsewhere. So you could say I really felt shafted.

The shock (this happened in the space of 12 hours) and trauma left me reeling and feeling like I was living in a parallel universe. Then a good friend sent me this book and yowza yowza, does it hit home - in a way friends never could.

There are points made here which will leave you cringing (yep, I did that), nodding your head (as in been there, done that) and with the realisation that a. you're not alone, b. other people make complete fools out of themselves and c. no, he's not coming back, yes, it is over and no, the world (or your life) hasn't ended.

If you are at this stage in your life, you need strength, pride and the wherewithal to move on. This book - through its humour, insight and no punches pulled approach will help you achieve that. If you have the physical and mental wherewithal to put what's happened behind you, then do it and use the wisdom this book offers to help you.

A valuable means of help, 03 Sep 2008
Of all the challenges that can face a married couple, there are few things more difficult than rebuilding some semblance of trust after an act of infidelity has been committed (or, at least, after an act of infidelity has been discovered). While I feel no trace of pride over my affairs (how could I, after all? Most of them have been with absolute munters!) I must admit that there have been a good many since I married Doreen. It was not long into the new millenium that she first caught me out (not bad going on my part, if you consider that I'd actually been putting in my fair share of 'late shifts in the office' since the end of the eighties!). Although I nearly managed to talk my way out of things, unfortunately the intricate web of my deceit came untangled once and for all- when the pharmacist informed Doreen that it wasn't actually very likely that her infection had been picked up from a toilet seat.

After Doreen learned of my infidelity it was a testing time for the both of us (although fortunately the results revealed nothing more serious than an outbreak of 'the clap' and a touch of chlamydia). I'm not sure if our marriage could possibly have held together without the aid of the cogent advice that one finds here. Many lessons were learned on both sides about issues of trust and respect. Perhaps rather surprisingly, our relationship was actually beginning to look more firmly cemented than ever before- at least until the guide had to be retrieved from the shelf some three years later (following an ill-advised drinking contest in the local that pitted me up against the captain of the women's darts team!). Six months on and it was Doreen's turn to be caught with her bloomers down- although, just a few days later, I made darn sure that I was going to have an equal hand in our subsequent return to the book! Still, this is all stretching back a few years into the past. For quite some time now, neither Doreen nor I have had to endure a trip to the bookshelf in order to seek assistance from this guide. These days, we keep it permanently at the ready on the bedside table- for the sake of maximum convenience!

Not comprehensive enough, 27 Jul 2007
This was the first book I bought and although I gained some perspective on what was happening to me and my relationship, it only addresses a few areas in any real depth. Having purchased a few, I can recommend Not Just Friends by Shirley P. Glass as that takes you and your partner through the complete journey of infidelity and beyond regardless of where the two of you end up long term.

Wrong Title, 31 Aug 2004
The book should be titled. Read this to avoid an Affair!
For anybody whose experienced betrayl this is the wrong book to buy. The book is good and well written, but two-thirds of it concern "the different types of affair" and not the essential recovery tools people are looking for.

When to Stop Talking about the Affair?, 07 Jan 2004
After my husband finally admitted a 23 month affair which nevertheless left my devestated I brought this and two other books. I found it invaluable in the 5 days and nights we just talked and talked and talked - more than we had in the previous 10 years of our 18 year marriage/20 year relationship. However now 9 weeks on my husband doesn't want to discuss it anymore as he has buried it but things and situations still come into my mind that I must question - there is nothing in the book to talk about time for the betrayed needing to think aloud

Title summarises the different of types of affairs., 23 Jan 2001
Having been involved in an affair, we took this book as a guide on 'how we can sort this out' and re-establish our relationship and trust.

The book focusses largely on the different types of affairs, and this would be useful to one partner if they are suspusious. However for us there was little in this section that helped us, as none of the types/examples related to our situation.

There is little advise on how to recover a relationship, ie how to really dig down and resolve why it happened, and how you can prevent it from happening again. We put the book down, having read it together and said - what else can we find to help us?

So I thinks its a useful summary of 'why affairs happen', but do not offer much help in rebuilding relationships.

Utterly fantastic, 28 Jan 2006
Jargon free, logical and totally on the money, this is one of the best relationship self help books I've read. It was refershing to find something written for a British audience with familiar cultural points-of-reference that the American books lack, and the common sense analysis will help you focus on what you already know is going wrong, and what you already know you have to do.
Utterly recommended.

Structured and soothing common sense advice, 06 Jan 2005
I agree with the other review shown but thought I'd add another as that one was written a few years ago.

I found that this book mainly told me what I already knew, but I still found it very useful. Reading through it chapter by chapter helped me to clarify my thoughts and feelings, and to think about the various options open to me and their likely outcomes.

I found the book reassuring, and would recommend it to anyone who thinks that their relationship may be nearing an end.

Very clear and concise. The best of the relate series., 28 Nov 2001
Excellent! It has changed my outlook on life to a more realistic and enjoyable one!

Suzie Hayman writes this book with clarity and practical advice, backed up with factual research.

I would recommend this book to anyone considering a relationship, or in a relationship (practically everyone). It's essential reading for anyone wishing to adopt a healthy, open-minded, 'preventative' coping mechanism to enjoy life in the happiest of ways. Making the most of relationships is what this book is all about, and moving on when the time is right (a healthy trend in society at large)!

The content is an all-encompassing view of everyone involved in relationships: mums, dads, children, step-parents, step-children and everyone else's views and opinions (friends and further relatives); and the likely effect of their views in a rapidly changing society with increasingly complicated family structures.

A must-have!

A good book to learn how to move on after a breakup, 20 Nov 2002
A nice book with advices about how to move on after a breakup, and the way you'll heal. What to do to meet new people and start a new loving life.

A great ' first ' to turn to when the unimaginable happens., 13 May 2002
This was the first book to catch my eye in the bookstore when I found myself alone after over 20 yrs. of marriage and was utterly devestated.
It became my 'bible', beside my bed. I highlighted all the bits about how to create happiness in your life, reread them constantly.
Alot of the ideas about being responsible for creating your own happiness were new to me and I didn't immediately understand, it took some time. The chapters on 'what went wrong' were too painful initially, but the right time came and then they made sense too. The chapters on beginning a new relationship are as yet untested!
Since that time, over 2 yrs. ago, I've gone on to read books going into much greater depth on these issues, but this first one that I turned to, and still turn to, has a special place.
It was the turning point for me to look at my life in a completely different way, at what is important for me and what my values are(not my x partner's-not always that easy to work out after a long relationship).
I highly recommend this book, it covers a wide area, from before the break-up, to step-families in the new relationship; so I think that many people would want to expand their reading after this book. But it certainly inspired me to believe that there is a future. If your partner has left, or you have left them, you can make a good life; this book can certainly set you on the path.

A great support, 15 Feb 2002
I bought this book because I wanted t