A good insight into the mind of a troubled child, 15 Aug 2008
My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it makes suppositions and at times is based pon anecdoatal supposition rather than fact. Alowing for my negative comments, the recent publication comes with revised comments and does help somewhat to address some of the problems associated with looked after children.

The case history is quite harrowing at times, but anyone who has worked with or looked after a neglected or abused child will be able to empathise with the challenges faced in this book.

Applying the theory of trauma, 13 Sep 2007
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.

It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.

I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.

Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.

A must-read for foster parents!, 14 May 1999
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her ability to function in a normal life. There were ideas and strategies in this book that worked (no matter how strange they sound). Dan Hughes knows what he is talking about. As a professional foster parent, I appreciate the straightforward language used in this book. I would recommend this to any person dealing with an attachment disorder child. It brings a much needed awarness to this overwhelming issue in surrogate parenting.

A good insight into the mind of a troubled child, 15 Aug 2008
My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it makes suppositions and at times is based pon anecdoatal supposition rather than fact. Alowing for my negative comments, the recent publication comes with revised comments and does help somewhat to address some of the problems associated with looked after children.

The case history is quite harrowing at times, but anyone who has worked with or looked after a neglected or abused child will be able to empathise with the challenges faced in this book.

Applying the theory of trauma, 13 Sep 2007
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.

It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.

I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.

Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.

A must-read for foster parents!, 14 May 1999
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her ability to function in a normal life. There were ideas and strategies in this book that worked (no matter how strange they sound). Dan Hughes knows what he is talking about. As a professional foster parent, I appreciate the straightforward language used in this book. I would recommend this to any person dealing with an attachment disorder child. It brings a much needed awarness to this overwhelming issue in surrogate parenting.

A Must Read For Anyone In A Stepfamily!!, 09 Jan 2008
I have read a number of books on how to improve stepfamily life and each of them have had some positive things to offer, however, none of them have hit all the nails on the head in the way this book has. This book is primarily aimed at those brave souls entering a family as a stepparent, however, I am the natural parent in my stepfamily scenario and I can honestly say that this book has done me the wonderful favour of clearly seeing our situation through everyone's eyes. I now have so much insight into how my children feel and also the emotional rollercoaster my partner is constantly on. This will help me no end! It has given me a deeper appreciation of how complex my childrens' feelings are and how these feelings manifest themselves in their behaviours. It has also given me a renewed admiration and respect for my partner who is trying to make sense of it all. From beginning to end of this book, I time and time again identified with the points the author covered - she could have been writing about us!! This book should be read by everyone already in a stepfamily or thinking about entering one in my opinion!

One last major plus about this book. A lot of the previous books I have read on this subject have been written from an American perspective. I often have trouble identifying with the terminology and over emotional gushiness of American accounts. This book is refreshingly British in its outlook, from the prose to the matter of fact way it deals with the issues, some of which are highly emotional. The author hits just the right note every time.

Essential reading for everyone involved: partners, parents, grandparents, 08 May 2006
Firstly I would like to thank Flora McEvedy for her honesty and generosity of spirit. This book will help anyone whose partner has children. I found it when I was desparate. Although I love my partner's children, after 5 years, I was becoming my worst nightmare, a stern, critical, bossy woman ready to erupt at the slightest thing not the warm, empathetic person I aimed to be when I started out. I only wish this book had been available then. The book is very clearly written which it needs to be. It answers the fundamental questions. Who am I in all this? What am I supposed to do? What is my role? How can I contribute in a positive way? How can I help? From my own experience I can say that it is very easy to get lost. It is very easy to get it wrong. This book also helps the biological parent understand all these difficulties. Things are not easy for them either. This book gives you both a strategy. Divorce is a painful business for children and adults. I've come to believe that it is always there for those involved, We can't heal all the scars. This book gives a senstive path through the fall out.

To the author. A second book please focussing on how to meet teenagers' needs

A good insight into the mind of a troubled child, 15 Aug 2008
My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it makes suppositions and at times is based pon anecdoatal supposition rather than fact. Alowing for my negative comments, the recent publication comes with revised comments and does help somewhat to address some of the problems associated with looked after children.

The case history is quite harrowing at times, but anyone who has worked with or looked after a neglected or abused child will be able to empathise with the challenges faced in this book.

Applying the theory of trauma, 13 Sep 2007
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.

It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.

I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.

Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.

A must-read for foster parents!, 14 May 1999
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her ability to function in a normal life. There were ideas and strategies in this book that worked (no matter how strange they sound). Dan Hughes knows what he is talking about. As a professional foster parent, I appreciate the straightforward language used in this book. I would recommend this to any person dealing with an attachment disorder child. It brings a much needed awarness to this overwhelming issue in surrogate parenting.

A Must Read For Anyone In A Stepfamily!!, 09 Jan 2008
I have read a number of books on how to improve stepfamily life and each of them have had some positive things to offer, however, none of them have hit all the nails on the head in the way this book has. This book is primarily aimed at those brave souls entering a family as a stepparent, however, I am the natural parent in my stepfamily scenario and I can honestly say that this book has done me the wonderful favour of clearly seeing our situation through everyone's eyes. I now have so much insight into how my children feel and also the emotional rollercoaster my partner is constantly on. This will help me no end! It has given me a deeper appreciation of how complex my childrens' feelings are and how these feelings manifest themselves in their behaviours. It has also given me a renewed admiration and respect for my partner who is trying to make sense of it all. From beginning to end of this book, I time and time again identified with the points the author covered - she could have been writing about us!! This book should be read by everyone already in a stepfamily or thinking about entering one in my opinion!

One last major plus about this book. A lot of the previous books I have read on this subject have been written from an American perspective. I often have trouble identifying with the terminology and over emotional gushiness of American accounts. This book is refreshingly British in its outlook, from the prose to the matter of fact way it deals with the issues, some of which are highly emotional. The author hits just the right note every time.

Essential reading for everyone involved: partners, parents, grandparents, 08 May 2006
Firstly I would like to thank Flora McEvedy for her honesty and generosity of spirit. This book will help anyone whose partner has children. I found it when I was desparate. Although I love my partner's children, after 5 years, I was becoming my worst nightmare, a stern, critical, bossy woman ready to erupt at the slightest thing not the warm, empathetic person I aimed to be when I started out. I only wish this book had been available then. The book is very clearly written which it needs to be. It answers the fundamental questions. Who am I in all this? What am I supposed to do? What is my role? How can I contribute in a positive way? How can I help? From my own experience I can say that it is very easy to get lost. It is very easy to get it wrong. This book also helps the biological parent understand all these difficulties. Things are not easy for them either. This book gives you both a strategy. Divorce is a painful business for children and adults. I've come to believe that it is always there for those involved, We can't heal all the scars. This book gives a senstive path through the fall out.

To the author. A second book please focussing on how to meet teenagers' needs

A book about the most evil stepmother from hell who is now out of jail, 11 Jul 2008
This book is about one of the most evil women in the world who succeeded in making her stepdaughter's life an absolute hell (to think that she was only sentenced to two years in prison for the torture she inflicted on a young child makes my blood boil). Donna's biological father was absolutely useless in defending his daughter and deserves to rot in hell alongside his evil wife. However Donna overcame the wickedness of her stepmother and became a successful person in her own right Donna - I wish you all the best for the future.

Refreshing, 29 Dec 2007
After reading well over 100 books on true stories, i've come across my fair share of abuse tales and this is up there with the best of them. Not only does Donna give you insight into the horrific childhood she endured but unlike most other books, goes on to demonstrate how abused children do not have to repeat the cycle and how it becomes possible to conquer the abuser in more ways than imaginable. To have Donna's life story told to the point of taking Helen (the abuser) to court and winning to the life she has created very successfully for herself is truely inspiring.
This is a book that is easy to read, well written and a must for anyone who simply loves to read. I just look forward to the next chapter of Donna's life and hope she once again has the patience to put her life onto paper.

A good insight into the mind of a troubled child, 15 Aug 2008
My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it makes suppositions and at times is based pon anecdoatal supposition rather than fact. Alowing for my negative comments, the recent publication comes with revised comments and does help somewhat to address some of the problems associated with looked after children.

The case history is quite harrowing at times, but anyone who has worked with or looked after a neglected or abused child will be able to empathise with the challenges faced in this book.

Applying the theory of trauma, 13 Sep 2007
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.

It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.

I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.

Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.

A must-read for foster parents!, 14 May 1999
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her ability to function in a normal life. There were ideas and strategies in this book that worked (no matter how strange they sound). Dan Hughes knows what he is talking about. As a professional foster parent, I appreciate the straightforward language used in this book. I would recommend this to any person dealing with an attachment disorder child. It brings a much needed awarness to this overwhelming issue in surrogate parenting.

A Must Read For Anyone In A Stepfamily!!, 09 Jan 2008
I have read a number of books on how to improve stepfamily life and each of them have had some positive things to offer, however, none of them have hit all the nails on the head in the way this book has. This book is primarily aimed at those brave souls entering a family as a stepparent, however, I am the natural parent in my stepfamily scenario and I can honestly say that this book has done me the wonderful favour of clearly seeing our situation through everyone's eyes. I now have so much insight into how my children feel and also the emotional rollercoaster my partner is constantly on. This will help me no end! It has given me a deeper appreciation of how complex my childrens' feelings are and how these feelings manifest themselves in their behaviours. It has also given me a renewed admiration and respect for my partner who is trying to make sense of it all. From beginning to end of this book, I time and time again identified with the points the author covered - she could have been writing about us!! This book should be read by everyone already in a stepfamily or thinking about entering one in my opinion!

One last major plus about this book. A lot of the previous books I have read on this subject have been written from an American perspective. I often have trouble identifying with the terminology and over emotional gushiness of American accounts. This book is refreshingly British in its outlook, from the prose to the matter of fact way it deals with the issues, some of which are highly emotional. The author hits just the right note every time.

Essential reading for everyone involved: partners, parents, grandparents, 08 May 2006
Firstly I would like to thank Flora McEvedy for her honesty and generosity of spirit. This book will help anyone whose partner has children. I found it when I was desparate. Although I love my partner's children, after 5 years, I was becoming my worst nightmare, a stern, critical, bossy woman ready to erupt at the slightest thing not the warm, empathetic person I aimed to be when I started out. I only wish this book had been available then. The book is very clearly written which it needs to be. It answers the fundamental questions. Who am I in all this? What am I supposed to do? What is my role? How can I contribute in a positive way? How can I help? From my own experience I can say that it is very easy to get lost. It is very easy to get it wrong. This book also helps the biological parent understand all these difficulties. Things are not easy for them either. This book gives you both a strategy. Divorce is a painful business for children and adults. I've come to believe that it is always there for those involved, We can't heal all the scars. This book gives a senstive path through the fall out.

To the author. A second book please focussing on how to meet teenagers' needs

A book about the most evil stepmother from hell who is now out of jail, 11 Jul 2008
This book is about one of the most evil women in the world who succeeded in making her stepdaughter's life an absolute hell (to think that she was only sentenced to two years in prison for the torture she inflicted on a young child makes my blood boil). Donna's biological father was absolutely useless in defending his daughter and deserves to rot in hell alongside his evil wife. However Donna overcame the wickedness of her stepmother and became a successful person in her own right Donna - I wish you all the best for the future.

Refreshing, 29 Dec 2007
After reading well over 100 books on true stories, i've come across my fair share of abuse tales and this is up there with the best of them. Not only does Donna give you insight into the horrific childhood she endured but unlike most other books, goes on to demonstrate how abused children do not have to repeat the cycle and how it becomes possible to conquer the abuser in more ways than imaginable. To have Donna's life story told to the point of taking Helen (the abuser) to court and winning to the life she has created very successfully for herself is truely inspiring.
This is a book that is easy to read, well written and a must for anyone who simply loves to read. I just look forward to the next chapter of Donna's life and hope she once again has the patience to put her life onto paper.

Worthwhile reading for either stepwife (X or current wife), 17 Jan 2005
I am a mother of two adult children and have been a stepmother of adolescent children for two years now. They live with their mother but see us regularly. Until I read this book I felt absolutely zero sympathy for the X. Reading this didn't erase the hurt she caused (causes) all of us - herself included - but it gives me and my husband a new and valuable perspective on her grief cycle (she left him with kids in 2000, divorced in 2002) and how primal maternal instincts play a part in putting us at odds. I felt so good about the info in this book I sent her a copy as a Christmas present. No news on how she received it, but whether she accepts it well or not isn't the point. What's important is that she now has the info that could soften and inform her perspective and we can ALL focus on putting the kids first. Unlike some other stepmotherhood books I ordered, this book is valuable no matter where you live. It doesn't preach about societal family situations in the States, although its resource pages focus there. Even those are well worth an Internet review. The best thing I got from this - in addition to being more sympathetic to her pain - is that I can change my behavior guided by this book meaning she and I don't have to do it together for the kids to benefit.

This book is helping my family and saving my soul !, 28 Aug 2002
If you are a stepmother or ex-wife and are in a situation of shared care with the children of the dissolved marriage then this book is a MUST. It should be handed out during divorce to ex-wives if her children have been given the opportunity of shared care. It should definately be something every single women should be aware of should they meet and fall in love with a divorced man who has shared care of his children.
I knew about this book for a long time before I decided to buy it. I suppose I just refused to believe that my situation was in any way problematic. On reading this book I have laughed, cried and basically wish I'd bought it sooner. It is truly an excellent book. For women in my situation, the stepmother, to children who see me as much as they see their real mother, this book is of great comfort. The book is written from two points of view - the ex-wife and the stepmother hence they are refered to collectively as stepwives. A lifetime of emotional damage is being laid down in broken familes when things are ignored and people pretend they don't exist.. or that step parents don't exist. It is applicable to every situation like our one where my husbands ex-wife left him for another man and I met him once they had divorced and shared care had been granted (the children are basically growing up in two homes). It applies if you are the ex-wife in this situation, it applies if you are the women your husband ran off with, if you are the ex-wife having been left by your husband. It applies to every situation its great !

A good insight into the mind of a troubled child, 15 Aug 2008
My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it makes suppositions and at times is based pon anecdoatal supposition rather than fact. Alowing for my negative comments, the recent publication comes with revised comments and does help somewhat to address some of the problems associated with looked after children.

The case history is quite harrowing at times, but anyone who has worked with or looked after a neglected or abused child will be able to empathise with the challenges faced in this book.

Applying the theory of trauma, 13 Sep 2007
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.

It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.

I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.

Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.

A must-read for foster parents!, 14 May 1999
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her ability to function in a normal life. There were ideas and strategies in this book that worked (no matter how strange they sound). Dan Hughes knows what he is talking about. As a professional foster parent, I appreciate the straightforward language used in this book. I would recommend this to any person dealing with an attachment disorder child. It brings a much needed awarness to this overwhelming issue in surrogate parenting.

A Must Read For Anyone In A Stepfamily!!, 09 Jan 2008
I have read a number of books on how to improve stepfamily life and each of them have had some positive things to offer, however, none of them have hit all the nails on the head in the way this book has. This book is primarily aimed at those brave souls entering a family as a stepparent, however, I am the natural parent in my stepfamily scenario and I can honestly say that this book has done me the wonderful favour of clearly seeing our situation through everyone's eyes. I now have so much insight into how my children feel and also the emotional rollercoaster my partner is constantly on. This will help me no end! It has given me a deeper appreciation of how complex my childrens' feelings are and how these feelings manifest themselves in their behaviours. It has also given me a renewed admiration and respect for my partner who is trying to make sense of it all. From beginning to end of this book, I time and time again identified with the points the author covered - she could have been writing about us!! This book should be read by everyone already in a stepfamily or thinking about entering one in my opinion!

One last major plus about this book. A lot of the previous books I have read on this subject have been written from an American perspective. I often have trouble identifying with the terminology and over emotional gushiness of American accounts. This book is refreshingly British in its outlook, from the prose to the matter of fact way it deals with the issues, some of which are highly emotional. The author hits just the right note every time.

Essential reading for everyone involved: partners, parents, grandparents, 08 May 2006
Firstly I would like to thank Flora McEvedy for her honesty and generosity of spirit. This book will help anyone whose partner has children. I found it when I was desparate. Although I love my partner's children, after 5 years, I was becoming my worst nightmare, a stern, critical, bossy woman ready to erupt at the slightest thing not the warm, empathetic person I aimed to be when I started out. I only wish this book had been available then. The book is very clearly written which it needs to be. It answers the fundamental questions. Who am I in all this? What am I supposed to do? What is my role? How can I contribute in a positive way? How can I help? From my own experience I can say that it is very easy to get lost. It is very easy to get it wrong. This book also helps the biological parent understand all these difficulties. Things are not easy for them either. This book gives you both a strategy. Divorce is a painful business for children and adults. I've come to believe that it is always there for those involved, We can't heal all the scars. This book gives a senstive path through the fall out.

To the author. A second book please focussing on how to meet teenagers' needs

A book about the most evil stepmother from hell who is now out of jail, 11 Jul 2008
This book is about one of the most evil women in the world who succeeded in making her stepdaughter's life an absolute hell (to think that she was only sentenced to two years in prison for the torture she inflicted on a young child makes my blood boil). Donna's biological father was absolutely useless in defending his daughter and deserves to rot in hell alongside his evil wife. However Donna overcame the wickedness of her stepmother and became a successful person in her own right Donna - I wish you all the best for the future.

Refreshing, 29 Dec 2007
After reading well over 100 books on true stories, i've come across my fair share of abuse tales and this is up there with the best of them. Not only does Donna give you insight into the horrific childhood she endured but unlike most other books, goes on to demonstrate how abused children do not have to repeat the cycle and how it becomes possible to conquer the abuser in more ways than imaginable. To have Donna's life story told to the point of taking Helen (the abuser) to court and winning to the life she has created very successfully for herself is truely inspiring.
This is a book that is easy to read, well written and a must for anyone who simply loves to read. I just look forward to the next chapter of Donna's life and hope she once again has the patience to put her life onto paper.

Worthwhile reading for either stepwife (X or current wife), 17 Jan 2005
I am a mother of two adult children and have been a stepmother of adolescent children for two years now. They live with their mother but see us regularly. Until I read this book I felt absolutely zero sympathy for the X. Reading this didn't erase the hurt she caused (causes) all of us - herself included - but it gives me and my husband a new and valuable perspective on her grief cycle (she left him with kids in 2000, divorced in 2002) and how primal maternal instincts play a part in putting us at odds. I felt so good about the info in this book I sent her a copy as a Christmas present. No news on how she received it, but whether she accepts it well or not isn't the point. What's important is that she now has the info that could soften and inform her perspective and we can ALL focus on putting the kids first. Unlike some other stepmotherhood books I ordered, this book is valuable no matter where you live. It doesn't preach about societal family situations in the States, although its resource pages focus there. Even those are well worth an Internet review. The best thing I got from this - in addition to being more sympathetic to her pain - is that I can change my behavior guided by this book meaning she and I don't have to do it together for the kids to benefit.

This book is helping my family and saving my soul !, 28 Aug 2002
If you are a stepmother or ex-wife and are in a situation of shared care with the children of the dissolved marriage then this book is a MUST. It should be handed out during divorce to ex-wives if her children have been given the opportunity of shared care. It should definately be something every single women should be aware of should they meet and fall in love with a divorced man who has shared care of his children.
I knew about this book for a long time before I decided to buy it. I suppose I just refused to believe that my situation was in any way problematic. On reading this book I have laughed, cried and basically wish I'd bought it sooner. It is truly an excellent book. For women in my situation, the stepmother, to children who see me as much as they see their real mother, this book is of great comfort. The book is written from two points of view - the ex-wife and the stepmother hence they are refered to collectively as stepwives. A lifetime of emotional damage is being laid down in broken familes when things are ignored and people pretend they don't exist.. or that step parents don't exist. It is applicable to every situation like our one where my husbands ex-wife left him for another man and I met him once they had divorced and shared care had been granted (the children are basically growing up in two homes). It applies if you are the ex-wife in this situation, it applies if you are the women your husband ran off with, if you are the ex-wife having been left by your husband. It applies to every situation its great !

Saved my second marriage, 06 May 1999
Simply put, no magical formulas, but good old-fashioned commonsense. Thank you Ms. Norwood and Ms. Wingender.

Worthwhile reading for stepmoms and about to be stepmoms, 24 Apr 1999
Received from Larry King

"Worthwhile reading for stepmoms and about-to-be-stepmoms."

A fantastic book for the Stepmother!, 26 Mar 1999
I am Canadian so I paid a much higher price for the book than my American friends would. BUT, it was worth and continues to be worth every penny. This book deals with the stepmoms point of view, her feelings, her needs, HER! This book was well written and I refer to it often.

A "been there", "done that" manual of stepmothering, 25 Mar 1999
Besides the obvious audience of current and wouldbe stepmothers, this book should be in the hands of all counselors, therapists, and social workers. Like books on good manners, Ms. Norwood maps out strategies for overcoming the difficulties inherent in the role of stepmother and dispels the myths that cling to the title. It could have been more tightly edited, as there is some repetition, but the overall message is plain to see: it takes more than two to tango.

A breakthrough book offering wisdom and insight., 17 Mar 1999
This is a breakthrough book in stepmothering, and I only wish it had been available when I started out on the thorny path of stepparenting many years ago. It offers invaluable insight into many of the real problems faced and offers sensible and wise ways of dealing with the many issues. I keep it on my nightstand for easy access! Thank you, Ms. Norwood, for the support and enlightenment that your book offers.

A good insight into the mind of a troubled child, 15 Aug 2008
My wife and I have both read this book, she rates it very highly and were she writing this review would rtate it 5, I feel that whilst in parts it is very good, in other areas it makes suppositions and at times is based pon anecdoatal supposition rather than fact. Alowing for my negative comments, the recent publication comes with revised comments and does help somewhat to address some of the problems associated with looked after children.

The case history is quite harrowing at times, but anyone who has worked with or looked after a neglected or abused child will be able to empathise with the challenges faced in this book.

Applying the theory of trauma, 13 Sep 2007
As a foster carer, this book has been critical in enabling me to understand the children I care for even though they are teenagers.

It documents in detail how one foster carer who works closely with Daniel Hughes, manages a difficult and traumatised child. This presents the concepts of trauma in the process of caring, and present practical methods without being didactic, that can be applied intelligently in other situations. The more theoretical analysis of the care that accompanies each chapter allowed me to use to the best possible extent, the information that I gleaned from the book.

I eventually understood the implications for traumatised children as they become adolescent and traumatised; because very few teenagers who come into care have resolved their early childhood trauma.

Dan Hughes' explanations also helped me a lot in understanding the timescales involved in this kind of therapy, which can be longer than you ever imagine. A must for anyone who is working with children.

A must-read for foster parents!, 14 May 1999
Dan Hughes wrote this book with me in mind. I read this book while fostering a 9 yr old girl who had attachment disorder that, without proper treatment, would have destroyed her ability to function in a normal life. There were ideas and strategies in this book that worked (no matter how strange they sound). Dan Hughes knows what he is talking about. As a professional foster parent, I appreciate the straightforward language used in this book. I would recommend this to any person dealing with an attachment disorder child. It brings a much needed awarness to this overwhelming issue in surrogate parenting.

A Must Read For Anyone In A Stepfamily!!, 09 Jan 2008
I have read a number of books on how to improve stepfamily life and each of them have had some positive things to offer, however, none of them have hit all the nails on the head in the way this book has. This book is primarily aimed at those brave souls entering a family as a stepparent, however, I am the natural parent in my stepfamily scenario and I can honestly say that this book has done me the wonderful favour of clearly seeing our situation through everyone's eyes. I now have so much insight into how my children feel and also the emotional rollercoaster my partner is constantly on. This will help me no end! It has given me a deeper appreciation of how complex my childrens' feelings are and how these feelings manifest themselves in their behaviours. It has also given me a renewed admiration and respect for my partner who is trying to make sense of it all. From beginning to end of this book, I time and time again identified with the points the author covered - she could have been writing about us!! This book should be read by everyone already in a stepfamily or thinking about entering one in my opinion!

One last major plus about this book. A lot of the previous books I have read on this subject have been written from an American perspective. I often have trouble identifying with the terminology and over emotional gushiness of American accounts. This book is refreshingly British in its outlook, from the prose to the matter of fact way it deals with the issues, some of which are highly emotional. The author hits just the right note every time.

Essential reading for everyone involved: partners, parents, grandparents, 08 May 2006
Firstly I would like to thank Flora McEvedy for her honesty and generosity of spirit. This book will help anyone whose partner has children. I found it when I was desparate. Although I love my partner's children, after 5 years, I was becoming my worst nightmare, a stern, critical, bossy woman ready to erupt at the slightest thing not the warm, empathetic person I aimed to be when I started out. I only wish this book had been available then. The book is very clearly written which it needs to be. It answers the fundamental questions. Who am I in all this? What am I supposed to do? What is my role? How can I contribute in a positive way? How can I help? From my own experience I can say that it is very easy to get lost. It is very easy to get it wrong. This book also helps the biological parent understand all these difficulties. Things are not easy for them either. This book gives you both a strategy. Divorce is a painful business for children and adults. I've come to believe that it is always there for those involved, We can't heal all the scars. This book gives a senstive path through the fall out.

To the author. A second book please focussing on how to meet teenagers' needs

A book about the most evil stepmother from hell who is now out of jail, 11 Jul 2008
This book is about one of the most evil women in the world who succeeded in making her stepdaughter's life an absolute hell (to think that she was only sentenced to two years in prison for the torture she inflicted on a young child makes my blood boil). Donna's biological father was absolutely useless in defending his daughter and deserves to rot in hell alongside his evil wife. However Donna overcame the wickedness of her stepmother and became a successful person in her own right Donna - I wish you all the best for the future.

Refreshing, 29 Dec 2007
After reading well over 100 books on true stories, i've come across my fair share of abuse tales and this is up there with the best of them. Not only does Donna give you insight into the horrific childhood she endured but unlike most other books, goes on to demonstrate how abused children do not have to repeat the cycle and how it becomes possible to conquer the abuser in more ways than imaginable. To have Donna's life story told to the point of taking Helen (the abuser) to court and winning to the life she has created very successfully for herself is truely inspiring.
This is a book that is easy to read, well written and a must for anyone who simply loves to read. I just look forward to the next chapter of Donna's life and hope she once again has the patience to put her life onto paper.

Worthwhile reading for either stepwife (X or current wife), 17 Jan 2005
I am a mother of two adult children and have been a stepmother of adolescent children for two years now. They live with their mother but see us regularly. Until I read this book I felt absolutely zero sympathy for the X. Reading this didn't erase the hurt she caused (causes) all of us - herself included - but it gives me and my husband a new and valuable perspective on her grief cycle (she left him with kids in 2000, divorced in 2002) and how primal maternal instincts play a part in putting us at odds. I felt so good about the info in this book I sent her a copy as a Christmas present. No news on how she received it, but whether she accepts it well or not isn't the point. What's important is that she now has the info that could soften and inform her perspective and we can ALL focus on putting the kids first. Unlike some other stepmotherhood books I ordered, this book is valuable no matter where you live. It doesn't preach about societal family situations in the States, although its resource pages focus there. Even those are well worth an Internet review. The best thing I got from this - in addition to being more sympathetic to her pain - is that I can change my behavior guided by this book meaning she and I don't have to do it together for the kids to benefit.

This book is helping my family and saving my soul !, 28 Aug 2002
If you are a stepmother or ex-wife and are in a situation of shared care with the children of the dissolved marriage then this book is a MUST. It should be handed out during divorce to ex-wives if her children have been given the opportunity of shared care. It should definately be something every single women should be aware of should they meet and fall in love with a divorced man who has shared care of his children.
I knew about this book for a long time before I decided to buy it. I suppose I just refused to believe that my situation was in any way problematic. On reading this book I have laughed, cried and basically wish I'd bought it sooner. It is truly an excellent book. For women in my situation, the stepmother, to children who see me as much as they see their real mother, this book is of great comfort. The book is written from two points of view - the ex-wife and the stepmother hence they are refered to collectively as stepwives. A lifetime of emotional damage is being laid down in broken familes when things are ignored and people pretend they don't exist.. or that step parents don't exist. It is applicable to every situation like our one where my husbands ex-wife left him for another man and I met him once they had divorced and shared care had been granted (the children are basically growing up in two homes). It applies if you are the ex-wife in this situation, it applies if you are the women your husband ran off with, if you are the ex-wife having been left by your husband. It applies to every situation its great !

Saved my second marriage, 06 May 1999
Simply put, no magical formulas, but good old-fashioned commonsense. Thank you Ms. Norwood and Ms. Wingender.

Worthwhile reading for stepmoms and about to be stepmoms, 24 Apr 1999
Received from Larry King

"Worthwhile reading for stepmoms and about-to-be-stepmoms."

A fantastic book for the Stepmother!, 26 Mar 1999
I am Canadian so I paid a much higher price for the book than my American friends would. BUT, it was worth and continues to be worth every penny. This book deals with the stepmoms point of view, her feelings, her needs, HER! This book was well written and I refer to it often.

A "been there", "done that" manual of stepmothering, 25 Mar 1999
Besides the obvious audience of current and wouldbe stepmothers, this book should be in the hands of all counselors, therapists, and social workers. Like books on good manners, Ms. Norwood maps out strategies for overcoming the difficulties inherent in the role of stepmother and dispels the myths that cling to the title. It could have been more tightly edited, as there is some repetition, but the overall message is plain to see: it takes more than two to tango.

A breakthrough book offering wisdom and insight., 17 Mar 1999
This is a breakthrough book in stepmothering, and I only wish it had been available when I started out on the thorny path of stepparenting many years ago. It offers invaluable insight into many of the real problems faced and offers sensible and wise ways of dealing with the many issues. I keep it on my nightstand for easy access! Thank you, Ms. Norwood, for the support and enlightenment that your book offers.

Comprehensive divorce survival guide, 28 Jul 2008
This is an ambitious book. Author Genevieve Clapp, Ph.D., tackles the divorce process from the practical to the emotional. She guides you through the initial breakup, the intense emotional aftermath, the return to single life and the challenges facing stepfamilies. Dr. Clapp also gives solid, actionable advice about co-parenting and helping your children handle the rupture in their lives. Although the book is hampered by endless repetition, and the constant citation of studies and research, this same weakness enables you to use it as a reference. You can read only the chapters that pertain to your situation and still get all the necessary information. getAbstract recommends Clapp's all-inclusive guide to anyone contemplating a breakup, in the midst of a divorce, or newly single.