|
Browse categories
|
 |
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
 Customer Reviews
Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!
Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.
What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.
I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.
I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.
A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.
yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?
A must read!, 16 Nov 2007
I have 2 boys and I was recommended this book by a Teacher of my youngest child (5 at the time) My eldest was 10 and I had never read any parenting help books before. What an eyeopener, I sat and read the book from cover to cover and it really does help you understand the differences between boys and girls, why they behave in a certain way and all about the testosterone surges that they get. I never really went along with all that stuffabout boys only behaving a certain way because they are programmed by society blah blah! There are big differences and they need to be understood not ignored pushed aside. I would recommend this book to all mothers of boys it really does help.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Customer Reviews
Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!
Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.
What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.
I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.
I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.
A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.
yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?
A must read!, 16 Nov 2007
I have 2 boys and I was recommended this book by a Teacher of my youngest child (5 at the time) My eldest was 10 and I had never read any parenting help books before. What an eyeopener, I sat and read the book from cover to cover and it really does help you understand the differences between boys and girls, why they behave in a certain way and all about the testosterone surges that they get. I never really went along with all that stuffabout boys only behaving a certain way because they are programmed by society blah blah! There are big differences and they need to be understood not ignored pushed aside. I would recommend this book to all mothers of boys it really does help.
Good Introduction.., 20 Sep 2008
It is a good book to get you started. Covers alot of the models in NLP and is set out so its easy to read and understand. But as i said a very basic book.
If you want some good advice as a rule of thumb on getting books on NLP avoid the new stuff. Stick to the earlier books by Bandler preferably the first ones for e.g 'From Frogs to Princes ( is a must if your serious about this subject ) not only are they humerous but are like the bible of the subject and come from the pioneers, the fountain of knowledge. Derren Brown will even give you this advise also.
Fantastic layout, imple, yet effective, 17 Aug 2008
At first I thought NLP was some hocus-pocus magic stuff, that didn't really work, but boy did it! I am now able to easiloy create rapport, and I find I communicate a hell of a lot more easily... You have inspired me...!!!!!
Better than I thought it would be, 05 Aug 2008
I started this book with a very cynical view thinking it wouldnt be that good. I was pleasantly surprised though to find it is in fact quite interesting and has many helpful ideas.
The page on looking at a persons eyes to see if they are thinking about the past, present, remembering etc is very accurate. I tried it myself and it seems to work.
Definately a useful book to read and find out more about NLP.
Excellent introduction , 07 Jul 2008
This book is an excellent introduction to NLP and presents all the core concepts in an accurate way. NLP is a very wide-ranging theory but this author has managed to introduce the core framework very cogently. Perhaps there could have been more diagrams and illustrations, and perhaps a little less jargon too - but as NLP has so much of its own terminology it's difficult to see how this could be avoided. I would have liked to read a little more about time perception too, after reading Steve Taylor's excellent book Making Time Making Time: Why Time Seems to Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It, which looks at why time seems to speed up and slow down (and even completely disappear) in different situations.
Too much detail and not enough 'how to practicality'., 12 May 2008
If u enjoy reading science textbooks or biology books or pages and pages of jargon and talking, then this is for u.if like me ur intrigued by NLP and want a few 'how to' tips then find something more practical. A waste of money.Minimum info on reading body language. A BIG disappointment.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Customer Reviews
Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!
Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.
What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.
I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.
I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.
A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.
yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?
A must read!, 16 Nov 2007
I have 2 boys and I was recommended this book by a Teacher of my youngest child (5 at the time) My eldest was 10 and I had never read any parenting help books before. What an eyeopener, I sat and read the book from cover to cover and it really does help you understand the differences between boys and girls, why they behave in a certain way and all about the testosterone surges that they get. I never really went along with all that stuffabout boys only behaving a certain way because they are programmed by society blah blah! There are big differences and they need to be understood not ignored pushed aside. I would recommend this book to all mothers of boys it really does help.
Good Introduction.., 20 Sep 2008
It is a good book to get you started. Covers alot of the models in NLP and is set out so its easy to read and understand. But as i said a very basic book.
If you want some good advice as a rule of thumb on getting books on NLP avoid the new stuff. Stick to the earlier books by Bandler preferably the first ones for e.g 'From Frogs to Princes ( is a must if your serious about this subject ) not only are they humerous but are like the bible of the subject and come from the pioneers, the fountain of knowledge. Derren Brown will even give you this advise also.
Fantastic layout, imple, yet effective, 17 Aug 2008
At first I thought NLP was some hocus-pocus magic stuff, that didn't really work, but boy did it! I am now able to easiloy create rapport, and I find I communicate a hell of a lot more easily... You have inspired me...!!!!!
Better than I thought it would be, 05 Aug 2008
I started this book with a very cynical view thinking it wouldnt be that good. I was pleasantly surprised though to find it is in fact quite interesting and has many helpful ideas.
The page on looking at a persons eyes to see if they are thinking about the past, present, remembering etc is very accurate. I tried it myself and it seems to work.
Definately a useful book to read and find out more about NLP.
Excellent introduction , 07 Jul 2008
This book is an excellent introduction to NLP and presents all the core concepts in an accurate way. NLP is a very wide-ranging theory but this author has managed to introduce the core framework very cogently. Perhaps there could have been more diagrams and illustrations, and perhaps a little less jargon too - but as NLP has so much of its own terminology it's difficult to see how this could be avoided. I would have liked to read a little more about time perception too, after reading Steve Taylor's excellent book Making Time Making Time: Why Time Seems to Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It, which looks at why time seems to speed up and slow down (and even completely disappear) in different situations.
Too much detail and not enough 'how to practicality'., 12 May 2008
If u enjoy reading science textbooks or biology books or pages and pages of jargon and talking, then this is for u.if like me ur intrigued by NLP and want a few 'how to' tips then find something more practical. A waste of money.Minimum info on reading body language. A BIG disappointment.
Don't buy this, 01 Dec 2008
All relationships and the people involved in those relationships are different. Instead of following a set of 'rules' as this book sets out it is far better to learn to be yourself in any given situation. I would recommend Make every man want you by Marie Forleo. Marie throws all rules out of the window and encourages women to be a better and more authentic version of themselves which I think is far more attractive than trying to be something you are not.
She understands the male mind...a guy's view, 10 Nov 2008
Firstly, in this book BITCH means Babe In Total Control Of Herself.
She gives you priciples not 'rules' to transform from ignored or taken for granted doormat to relentlessly pursued dreamgirl, who is independent, strong, and not needy.
Initially, I wondered if Sherry is a guy, because she is so onto us. To her credit she did interview many men, to get these deep insights. In fact she has compiled our secret playbook.
I wonder if it is a good thing to have too many of our deep secrets in female hands, because it forces us to change our lazy relationship ways.
There is a self improvement principle - you teach people how to treat you. So do what you have always done, and get what you always got, or teach them how to treat you right.
So when Sherry suggests, acting a little aloof at first, this may seem counterintuitive, but it works. Staying out of relationship mode for a while, bypasses our natural defenses, and it works. Not giving away your personal power by being too much of a pleaser works. Communicating succinctly, I like that one.
Probably the most important lesson from this book is the importance of communication. A woman who calls a guy on his behavior, is showing several powerful things, she demonstrates higher value by not accepting bad behavior, she is not afraid to convey her feelings even if this might offend the guy, she is not timid and unassertive, she keeps the lines of communication honest, and open.
You will win some and lose some by following the advice in this book. Following this advice too rigidly will not work. It is a matter of finding a balance, and using what works for you. Think of this book as training wheels.
This book, is very good, and I probably should not recommend it but I do.
The bit about faking the orgasm, some reviewers don't like. As Sherry is a stand up comedian, this piece is just supposed to be humorous. In reality, you are teaching the guy that is he is already good enough, whereas some improvement might be required.
Some of the anecdotal advice is funny but extreme. The booty call guy left standing in the rain outside his apartment got his just desserts, but the red panties in the laundry tactic was too much.
My personal opinion, is we men are not that smart at non verbal communication, so things need to be spelled out more.
We also have a limited capacity for processing verbal information, in fact we go into safety shut down after about 30 seconds of talking. After that point, we just nod and grunt as if we are following along.
I hope you find this review helpful, and if you do, please click yes.
change your love life FOREVER!, 29 Oct 2008
Any woman who wants to regain control over her relationship or love life should definatley buy this book! I thought I knew everything about controlling men and getting what I want but I had still so much to learn and this book has taught me that! I was concerned I was falling for my man too quickly and roles had reversed. In the beggining I was the 'bitch' in complete control but when he finally got the prize (me) and the chase was over I soon felt i was loosing more and more control over the relationship. Within geting through the first chapter I had my man right where I wanted him again! There is nothing complex or difficult and the advice may seem obvious but the book gives you the confidence to go out and do it and regain ultimate respect for yourself!
What an excellent book!, 11 Oct 2008
I was put off buying this book fo ages, as I wasn't sure I wanted to learn how to be a 'bitch'!. But Sherry is not using the word 'bitch' in the traditional way- she uses it as term to mean ' a women with self-respect'.
The best book on dating I have read ( and I've read a few...)and I do think the principles can be applied to all areas of life, not just relationships. Why be a down trodden 'nice girl' all the time- it gets you nowhere. The results are immediate- I couldn't believe how subtly changing your behaviour can change other peoples attitude and behaviour towards you. YOU MUST READ IT!!
Now I know where I was going wrong for all those years!!! , 21 Sep 2008
This book is fantastic!!! I was always too nice and then wondered what i did wrong - now I know and now I'm going to become a "bitch". The advice is practical and makes sense and the book is very easy to follow. The more i read the more i was glued to the book. Finished in 2 days! Great investment.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Customer Reviews
Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!
Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.
What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.
I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.
I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.
A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.
yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?
A must read!, 16 Nov 2007
I have 2 boys and I was recommended this book by a Teacher of my youngest child (5 at the time) My eldest was 10 and I had never read any parenting help books before. What an eyeopener, I sat and read the book from cover to cover and it really does help you understand the differences between boys and girls, why they behave in a certain way and all about the testosterone surges that they get. I never really went along with all that stuffabout boys only behaving a certain way because they are programmed by society blah blah! There are big differences and they need to be understood not ignored pushed aside. I would recommend this book to all mothers of boys it really does help.
Good Introduction.., 20 Sep 2008
It is a good book to get you started. Covers alot of the models in NLP and is set out so its easy to read and understand. But as i said a very basic book.
If you want some good advice as a rule of thumb on getting books on NLP avoid the new stuff. Stick to the earlier books by Bandler preferably the first ones for e.g 'From Frogs to Princes ( is a must if your serious about this subject ) not only are they humerous but are like the bible of the subject and come from the pioneers, the fountain of knowledge. Derren Brown will even give you this advise also.
Fantastic layout, imple, yet effective, 17 Aug 2008
At first I thought NLP was some hocus-pocus magic stuff, that didn't really work, but boy did it! I am now able to easiloy create rapport, and I find I communicate a hell of a lot more easily... You have inspired me...!!!!!
Better than I thought it would be, 05 Aug 2008
I started this book with a very cynical view thinking it wouldnt be that good. I was pleasantly surprised though to find it is in fact quite interesting and has many helpful ideas.
The page on looking at a persons eyes to see if they are thinking about the past, present, remembering etc is very accurate. I tried it myself and it seems to work.
Definately a useful book to read and find out more about NLP.
Excellent introduction , 07 Jul 2008
This book is an excellent introduction to NLP and presents all the core concepts in an accurate way. NLP is a very wide-ranging theory but this author has managed to introduce the core framework very cogently. Perhaps there could have been more diagrams and illustrations, and perhaps a little less jargon too - but as NLP has so much of its own terminology it's difficult to see how this could be avoided. I would have liked to read a little more about time perception too, after reading Steve Taylor's excellent book Making Time Making Time: Why Time Seems to Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It, which looks at why time seems to speed up and slow down (and even completely disappear) in different situations.
Too much detail and not enough 'how to practicality'., 12 May 2008
If u enjoy reading science textbooks or biology books or pages and pages of jargon and talking, then this is for u.if like me ur intrigued by NLP and want a few 'how to' tips then find something more practical. A waste of money.Minimum info on reading body language. A BIG disappointment.
Don't buy this, 01 Dec 2008
All relationships and the people involved in those relationships are different. Instead of following a set of 'rules' as this book sets out it is far better to learn to be yourself in any given situation. I would recommend Make every man want you by Marie Forleo. Marie throws all rules out of the window and encourages women to be a better and more authentic version of themselves which I think is far more attractive than trying to be something you are not.
She understands the male mind...a guy's view, 10 Nov 2008
Firstly, in this book BITCH means Babe In Total Control Of Herself.
She gives you priciples not 'rules' to transform from ignored or taken for granted doormat to relentlessly pursued dreamgirl, who is independent, strong, and not needy.
Initially, I wondered if Sherry is a guy, because she is so onto us. To her credit she did interview many men, to get these deep insights. In fact she has compiled our secret playbook.
I wonder if it is a good thing to have too many of our deep secrets in female hands, because it forces us to change our lazy relationship ways.
There is a self improvement principle - you teach people how to treat you. So do what you have always done, and get what you always got, or teach them how to treat you right.
So when Sherry suggests, acting a little aloof at first, this may seem counterintuitive, but it works. Staying out of relationship mode for a while, bypasses our natural defenses, and it works. Not giving away your personal power by being too much of a pleaser works. Communicating succinctly, I like that one.
Probably the most important lesson from this book is the importance of communication. A woman who calls a guy on his behavior, is showing several powerful things, she demonstrates higher value by not accepting bad behavior, she is not afraid to convey her feelings even if this might offend the guy, she is not timid and unassertive, she keeps the lines of communication honest, and open.
You will win some and lose some by following the advice in this book. Following this advice too rigidly will not work. It is a matter of finding a balance, and using what works for you. Think of this book as training wheels.
This book, is very good, and I probably should not recommend it but I do.
The bit about faking the orgasm, some reviewers don't like. As Sherry is a stand up comedian, this piece is just supposed to be humorous. In reality, you are teaching the guy that is he is already good enough, whereas some improvement might be required.
Some of the anecdotal advice is funny but extreme. The booty call guy left standing in the rain outside his apartment got his just desserts, but the red panties in the laundry tactic was too much.
My personal opinion, is we men are not that smart at non verbal communication, so things need to be spelled out more.
We also have a limited capacity for processing verbal information, in fact we go into safety shut down after about 30 seconds of talking. After that point, we just nod and grunt as if we are following along.
I hope you find this review helpful, and if you do, please click yes.
change your love life FOREVER!, 29 Oct 2008
Any woman who wants to regain control over her relationship or love life should definatley buy this book! I thought I knew everything about controlling men and getting what I want but I had still so much to learn and this book has taught me that! I was concerned I was falling for my man too quickly and roles had reversed. In the beggining I was the 'bitch' in complete control but when he finally got the prize (me) and the chase was over I soon felt i was loosing more and more control over the relationship. Within geting through the first chapter I had my man right where I wanted him again! There is nothing complex or difficult and the advice may seem obvious but the book gives you the confidence to go out and do it and regain ultimate respect for yourself!
What an excellent book!, 11 Oct 2008
I was put off buying this book fo ages, as I wasn't sure I wanted to learn how to be a 'bitch'!. But Sherry is not using the word 'bitch' in the traditional way- she uses it as term to mean ' a women with self-respect'.
The best book on dating I have read ( and I've read a few...)and I do think the principles can be applied to all areas of life, not just relationships. Why be a down trodden 'nice girl' all the time- it gets you nowhere. The results are immediate- I couldn't believe how subtly changing your behaviour can change other peoples attitude and behaviour towards you. YOU MUST READ IT!!
Now I know where I was going wrong for all those years!!! , 21 Sep 2008
This book is fantastic!!! I was always too nice and then wondered what i did wrong - now I know and now I'm going to become a "bitch". The advice is practical and makes sense and the book is very easy to follow. The more i read the more i was glued to the book. Finished in 2 days! Great investment.
From a sceptic, 08 Nov 2008
I usually don't like books about how psychology as I find that they too often put people into boxes. Having said that I found this a book really good read and it helped me think more about the affect of my actions on my husband and how he responds to me and also what my hopes and expectations are and how to communicate them. A book can't ever cover everything but I found this insightful, constructive and applicable. A lesson in life and love that I won't forget.
A Key To Understanding The Opposite Sex, 31 Jul 2008
Dr. Gary Chapman has written a very practical book here that unlocks the doors to understanding the needs of your partner. Many books have been written on the subject, but I feel Dr. Chapman approaches these issues on understanding the opposite sex from a new and fresh perspective.
The key to successful relationships of any kind is understanding the other person better, and helping them to learn how to understand you and your ways.
I recommend this book to anyone wishing to enhance their personal relationships and further enrich their lives. A good book for everyone's bookshelf.
How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good
Real Life Dramas - Volume One: 1
Darren G. Burton
Keeping the love tank full!, 03 Jul 2008
I love this book! It is written and articulated very well. Step-by-step Gary Chapman identifies five major ways that we experience love in a relationship. "The Five Love Languages" helped me discover how I have communicated and how it can be more effective. Now I see that we can keep our love tank full by speaking our partner's primary love language because she or he will find it much easier to understand! The given examples were fun to read and it was easy for me to relate to different scenarios. It is a great book to anyone who wants to understand the dynamics in a relationship with their loved ones!
Also you might want to check out the books by Ariel and Shya Kane; they are brilliant! The Kanes' book "Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment" and "How To Create a Magical Relationship" surprised me with a whole new perspective on relationships. I used to suppress myself thinking that by "sacrificing", I would make my partner happy and the relationship would last. Well, they didn't last too long using that approach. From the Kanes' books and the website, I discovered if I am in the moment, I can truly express myself and it actually complements my relationships! Truly magical. I highly recommend them to anyone who wants to have a satisfying relationship!
This stuff works, 01 Jul 2008
I am working on building a more intimate relationship with my wife and this is by no means easy but i have tried some of the advice in this book and it certainly does work. I would recommend it to any married couple.
Very helpful but can put off non-Christians, 28 May 2008
I personally was given this book by my wife to read and I wish I had read it 10 years ago. The author is very right when he says that the "in-love" feeling that we first experience when we meet someone can disappear in the first 2 years of marriage. Once the "in-love" emotion disappears we wonder why we loved that person to begin with. Thus begins the excuses we generate to separate or divorce.
In this book, the author shows that love is not a feeling, but it is a decision. The decision that everyone needs to make to speak the love language of the person we love. That love language could be words of affection and encouragement, doing household chores, touching, giving gifts or spending quality time together.
While the book is great and very helpful, it may not appeal to non-Christians because the author insists by drawing examples from the Bible and Jesus' own life. While this is okay, and I am not anti-religion, I do believe the biblical references are unnecessary and may turn off secular readers. This is a pity as the book's main theory that we speak five separate love languages is very plausible and should be given respect.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Product Description
"Let's look at the thoughts, attitudes, and emotions, as they're experienced, in their very different ways, by men and women". This is one of Allan Pease's chirpy gear-changes in this provocatively titled book. Then he begins to ruminate: men and women live in the same world, but they experience it as if they came from two different worlds. Boys like things, girls like people. Every boy wants to be in a gang, and wants a gun; every girl has her best friend, with whom she shares her secrets. Men want status and power, women want love. It's amazing, he concludes, that they can ever live together. Well, yes, and that living together is a pretty fraught business, though he doesn't seem keen to go too deeply into that: this psychology, with its frequent allusions to research and its jokey little dramatisations, is upbeat feelgood stuff, which is why it's made him such a fortune on three continents. "Listen to this!" he'll say, then on comes an Aussie squabble, the woman berating a husband whose grunts proclaim the fact that he's not listening. But to sell four million copies of a book about body language--in 33 different languages--means Pease and his wife Barbara must be getting something right. There are many scientifically-documented facts about the difference between the sexes, and Pease is selling them with a smile to an ever-growing public. You may be a contented member of that public, or you may find your hackles rising. It takes all sorts! Betty Tadman
Customer Reviews
Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!
Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.
What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.
I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.
I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.
A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.
yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?
A must read!, 16 Nov 2007
I have 2 boys and I was recommended this book by a Teacher of my youngest child (5 at the time) My eldest was 10 and I had never read any parenting help books before. What an eyeopener, I sat and read the book from cover to cover and it really does help you understand the differences between boys and girls, why they behave in a certain way and all about the testosterone surges that they get. I never really went along with all that stuffabout boys only behaving a certain way because they are programmed by society blah blah! There are big differences and they need to be understood not ignored pushed aside. I would recommend this book to all mothers of boys it really does help.
Good Introduction.., 20 Sep 2008
It is a good book to get you started. Covers alot of the models in NLP and is set out so its easy to read and understand. But as i said a very basic book.
If you want some good advice as a rule of thumb on getting books on NLP avoid the new stuff. Stick to the earlier books by Bandler preferably the first ones for e.g 'From Frogs to Princes ( is a must if your serious about this subject ) not only are they humerous but are like the bible of the subject and come from the pioneers, the fountain of knowledge. Derren Brown will even give you this advise also.
Fantastic layout, imple, yet effective, 17 Aug 2008
At first I thought NLP was some hocus-pocus magic stuff, that didn't really work, but boy did it! I am now able to easiloy create rapport, and I find I communicate a hell of a lot more easily... You have inspired me...!!!!!
Better than I thought it would be, 05 Aug 2008
I started this book with a very cynical view thinking it wouldnt be that good. I was pleasantly surprised though to find it is in fact quite interesting and has many helpful ideas.
The page on looking at a persons eyes to see if they are thinking about the past, present, remembering etc is very accurate. I tried it myself and it seems to work.
Definately a useful book to read and find out more about NLP.
Excellent introduction , 07 Jul 2008
This book is an excellent introduction to NLP and presents all the core concepts in an accurate way. NLP is a very wide-ranging theory but this author has managed to introduce the core framework very cogently. Perhaps there could have been more diagrams and illustrations, and perhaps a little less jargon too - but as NLP has so much of its own terminology it's difficult to see how this could be avoided. I would have liked to read a little more about time perception too, after reading Steve Taylor's excellent book Making Time Making Time: Why Time Seems to Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It, which looks at why time seems to speed up and slow down (and even completely disappear) in different situations.
Too much detail and not enough 'how to practicality'., 12 May 2008
If u enjoy reading science textbooks or biology books or pages and pages of jargon and talking, then this is for u.if like me ur intrigued by NLP and want a few 'how to' tips then find something more practical. A waste of money.Minimum info on reading body language. A BIG disappointment.
Don't buy this, 01 Dec 2008
All relationships and the people involved in those relationships are different. Instead of following a set of 'rules' as this book sets out it is far better to learn to be yourself in any given situation. I would recommend Make every man want you by Marie Forleo. Marie throws all rules out of the window and encourages women to be a better and more authentic version of themselves which I think is far more attractive than trying to be something you are not.
She understands the male mind...a guy's view, 10 Nov 2008
Firstly, in this book BITCH means Babe In Total Control Of Herself.
She gives you priciples not 'rules' to transform from ignored or taken for granted doormat to relentlessly pursued dreamgirl, who is independent, strong, and not needy.
Initially, I wondered if Sherry is a guy, because she is so onto us. To her credit she did interview many men, to get these deep insights. In fact she has compiled our secret playbook.
I wonder if it is a good thing to have too many of our deep secrets in female hands, because it forces us to change our lazy relationship ways.
There is a self improvement principle - you teach people how to treat you. So do what you have always done, and get what you always got, or teach them how to treat you right.
So when Sherry suggests, acting a little aloof at first, this may seem counterintuitive, but it works. Staying out of relationship mode for a while, bypasses our natural defenses, and it works. Not giving away your personal power by being too much of a pleaser works. Communicating succinctly, I like that one.
Probably the most important lesson from this book is the importance of communication. A woman who calls a guy on his behavior, is showing several powerful things, she demonstrates higher value by not accepting bad behavior, she is not afraid to convey her feelings even if this might offend the guy, she is not timid and unassertive, she keeps the lines of communication honest, and open.
You will win some and lose some by following the advice in this book. Following this advice too rigidly will not work. It is a matter of finding a balance, and using what works for you. Think of this book as training wheels.
This book, is very good, and I probably should not recommend it but I do.
The bit about faking the orgasm, some reviewers don't like. As Sherry is a stand up comedian, this piece is just supposed to be humorous. In reality, you are teaching the guy that is he is already good enough, whereas some improvement might be required.
Some of the anecdotal advice is funny but extreme. The booty call guy left standing in the rain outside his apartment got his just desserts, but the red panties in the laundry tactic was too much.
My personal opinion, is we men are not that smart at non verbal communication, so things need to be spelled out more.
We also have a limited capacity for processing verbal information, in fact we go into safety shut down after about 30 seconds of talking. After that point, we just nod and grunt as if we are following along.
I hope you find this review helpful, and if you do, please click yes.
change your love life FOREVER!, 29 Oct 2008
Any woman who wants to regain control over her relationship or love life should definatley buy this book! I thought I knew everything about controlling men and getting what I want but I had still so much to learn and this book has taught me that! I was concerned I was falling for my man too quickly and roles had reversed. In the beggining I was the 'bitch' in complete control but when he finally got the prize (me) and the chase was over I soon felt i was loosing more and more control over the relationship. Within geting through the first chapter I had my man right where I wanted him again! There is nothing complex or difficult and the advice may seem obvious but the book gives you the confidence to go out and do it and regain ultimate respect for yourself!
What an excellent book!, 11 Oct 2008
I was put off buying this book fo ages, as I wasn't sure I wanted to learn how to be a 'bitch'!. But Sherry is not using the word 'bitch' in the traditional way- she uses it as term to mean ' a women with self-respect'.
The best book on dating I have read ( and I've read a few...)and I do think the principles can be applied to all areas of life, not just relationships. Why be a down trodden 'nice girl' all the time- it gets you nowhere. The results are immediate- I couldn't believe how subtly changing your behaviour can change other peoples attitude and behaviour towards you. YOU MUST READ IT!!
Now I know where I was going wrong for all those years!!! , 21 Sep 2008
This book is fantastic!!! I was always too nice and then wondered what i did wrong - now I know and now I'm going to become a "bitch". The advice is practical and makes sense and the book is very easy to follow. The more i read the more i was glued to the book. Finished in 2 days! Great investment.
From a sceptic, 08 Nov 2008
I usually don't like books about how psychology as I find that they too often put people into boxes. Having said that I found this a book really good read and it helped me think more about the affect of my actions on my husband and how he responds to me and also what my hopes and expectations are and how to communicate them. A book can't ever cover everything but I found this insightful, constructive and applicable. A lesson in life and love that I won't forget.
A Key To Understanding The Opposite Sex, 31 Jul 2008
Dr. Gary Chapman has written a very practical book here that unlocks the doors to understanding the needs of your partner. Many books have been written on the subject, but I feel Dr. Chapman approaches these issues on understanding the opposite sex from a new and fresh perspective.
The key to successful relationships of any kind is understanding the other person better, and helping them to learn how to understand you and your ways.
I recommend this book to anyone wishing to enhance their personal relationships and further enrich their lives. A good book for everyone's bookshelf.
How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good
Real Life Dramas - Volume One: 1
Darren G. Burton
Keeping the love tank full!, 03 Jul 2008
I love this book! It is written and articulated very well. Step-by-step Gary Chapman identifies five major ways that we experience love in a relationship. "The Five Love Languages" helped me discover how I have communicated and how it can be more effective. Now I see that we can keep our love tank full by speaking our partner's primary love language because she or he will find it much easier to understand! The given examples were fun to read and it was easy for me to relate to different scenarios. It is a great book to anyone who wants to understand the dynamics in a relationship with their loved ones!
Also you might want to check out the books by Ariel and Shya Kane; they are brilliant! The Kanes' book "Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment" and "How To Create a Magical Relationship" surprised me with a whole new perspective on relationships. I used to suppress myself thinking that by "sacrificing", I would make my partner happy and the relationship would last. Well, they didn't last too long using that approach. From the Kanes' books and the website, I discovered if I am in the moment, I can truly express myself and it actually complements my relationships! Truly magical. I highly recommend them to anyone who wants to have a satisfying relationship!
This stuff works, 01 Jul 2008
I am working on building a more intimate relationship with my wife and this is by no means easy but i have tried some of the advice in this book and it certainly does work. I would recommend it to any married couple.
Very helpful but can put off non-Christians, 28 May 2008
I personally was given this book by my wife to read and I wish I had read it 10 years ago. The author is very right when he says that the "in-love" feeling that we first experience when we meet someone can disappear in the first 2 years of marriage. Once the "in-love" emotion disappears we wonder why we loved that person to begin with. Thus begins the excuses we generate to separate or divorce.
In this book, the author shows that love is not a feeling, but it is a decision. The decision that everyone needs to make to speak the love language of the person we love. That love language could be words of affection and encouragement, doing household chores, touching, giving gifts or spending quality time together.
While the book is great and very helpful, it may not appeal to non-Christians because the author insists by drawing examples from the Bible and Jesus' own life. While this is okay, and I am not anti-religion, I do believe the biblical references are unnecessary and may turn off secular readers. This is a pity as the book's main theory that we speak five separate love languages is very plausible and should be given respect.
VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.
well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.
However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.
As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.
A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)
...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.
If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.
Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.
Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.
For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.
This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.
Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.
Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.
Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Customer Reviews
Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!
Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.
What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.
I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.
I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.
A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.
yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?
A must read!, 16 Nov 2007
I have 2 boys and I was recommended this book by a Teacher of my youngest child (5 at the time) My eldest was 10 and I had never read any parenting help books before. What an eyeopener, I sat and read the book from cover to cover and it really does help you understand the differences between boys and girls, why they behave in a certain way and all about the testosterone surges that they get. I never really went along with all that stuffabout boys only behaving a certain way because they are programmed by society blah blah! There are big differences and they need to be understood not ignored pushed aside. I would recommend this book to all mothers of boys it really does help.
Good Introduction.., 20 Sep 2008
It is a good book to get you started. Covers alot of the models in NLP and is set out so its easy to read and understand. But as i said a very basic book.
If you want some good advice as a rule of thumb on getting books on NLP avoid the new stuff. Stick to the earlier books by Bandler preferably the first ones for e.g 'From Frogs to Princes ( is a must if your serious about this subject ) not only are they humerous but are like the bible of the subject and come from the pioneers, the fountain of knowledge. Derren Brown will even give you this advise also.
Fantastic layout, imple, yet effective, 17 Aug 2008
At first I thought NLP was some hocus-pocus magic stuff, that didn't really work, but boy did it! I am now able to easiloy create rapport, and I find I communicate a hell of a lot more easily... You have inspired me...!!!!!
Better than I thought it would be, 05 Aug 2008
I started this book with a very cynical view thinking it wouldnt be that good. I was pleasantly surprised though to find it is in fact quite interesting and has many helpful ideas.
The page on looking at a persons eyes to see if they are thinking about the past, present, remembering etc is very accurate. I tried it myself and it seems to work.
Definately a useful book to read and find out more about NLP.
Excellent introduction , 07 Jul 2008
This book is an excellent introduction to NLP and presents all the core concepts in an accurate way. NLP is a very wide-ranging theory but this author has managed to introduce the core framework very cogently. Perhaps there could have been more diagrams and illustrations, and perhaps a little less jargon too - but as NLP has so much of its own terminology it's difficult to see how this could be avoided. I would have liked to read a little more about time perception too, after reading Steve Taylor's excellent book Making Time Making Time: Why Time Seems to Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It, which looks at why time seems to speed up and slow down (and even completely disappear) in different situations.
Too much detail and not enough 'how to practicality'., 12 May 2008
If u enjoy reading science textbooks or biology books or pages and pages of jargon and talking, then this is for u.if like me ur intrigued by NLP and want a few 'how to' tips then find something more practical. A waste of money.Minimum info on reading body language. A BIG disappointment.
Don't buy this, 01 Dec 2008
All relationships and the people involved in those relationships are different. Instead of following a set of 'rules' as this book sets out it is far better to learn to be yourself in any given situation. I would recommend Make every man want you by Marie Forleo. Marie throws all rules out of the window and encourages women to be a better and more authentic version of themselves which I think is far more attractive than trying to be something you are not.
She understands the male mind...a guy's view, 10 Nov 2008
Firstly, in this book BITCH means Babe In Total Control Of Herself.
She gives you priciples not 'rules' to transform from ignored or taken for granted doormat to relentlessly pursued dreamgirl, who is independent, strong, and not needy.
Initially, I wondered if Sherry is a guy, because she is so onto us. To her credit she did interview many men, to get these deep insights. In fact she has compiled our secret playbook.
I wonder if it is a good thing to have too many of our deep secrets in female hands, because it forces us to change our lazy relationship ways.
There is a self improvement principle - you teach people how to treat you. So do what you have always done, and get what you always got, or teach them how to treat you right.
So when Sherry suggests, acting a little aloof at first, this may seem counterintuitive, but it works. Staying out of relationship mode for a while, bypasses our natural defenses, and it works. Not giving away your personal power by being too much of a pleaser works. Communicating succinctly, I like that one.
Probably the most important lesson from this book is the importance of communication. A woman who calls a guy on his behavior, is showing several powerful things, she demonstrates higher value by not accepting bad behavior, she is not afraid to convey her feelings even if this might offend the guy, she is not timid and unassertive, she keeps the lines of communication honest, and open.
You will win some and lose some by following the advice in this book. Following this advice too rigidly will not work. It is a matter of finding a balance, and using what works for you. Think of this book as training wheels.
This book, is very good, and I probably should not recommend it but I do.
The bit about faking the orgasm, some reviewers don't like. As Sherry is a stand up comedian, this piece is just supposed to be humorous. In reality, you are teaching the guy that is he is already good enough, whereas some improvement might be required.
Some of the anecdotal advice is funny but extreme. The booty call guy left standing in the rain outside his apartment got his just desserts, but the red panties in the laundry tactic was too much.
My personal opinion, is we men are not that smart at non verbal communication, so things need to be spelled out more.
We also have a limited capacity for processing verbal information, in fact we go into safety shut down after about 30 seconds of talking. After that point, we just nod and grunt as if we are following along.
I hope you find this review helpful, and if you do, please click yes.
change your love life FOREVER!, 29 Oct 2008
Any woman who wants to regain control over her relationship or love life should definatley buy this book! I thought I knew everything about controlling men and getting what I want but I had still so much to learn and this book has taught me that! I was concerned I was falling for my man too quickly and roles had reversed. In the beggining I was the 'bitch' in complete control but when he finally got the prize (me) and the chase was over I soon felt i was loosing more and more control over the relationship. Within geting through the first chapter I had my man right where I wanted him again! There is nothing complex or difficult and the advice may seem obvious but the book gives you the confidence to go out and do it and regain ultimate respect for yourself!
What an excellent book!, 11 Oct 2008
I was put off buying this book fo ages, as I wasn't sure I wanted to learn how to be a 'bitch'!. But Sherry is not using the word 'bitch' in the traditional way- she uses it as term to mean ' a women with self-respect'.
The best book on dating I have read ( and I've read a few...)and I do think the principles can be applied to all areas of life, not just relationships. Why be a down trodden 'nice girl' all the time- it gets you nowhere. The results are immediate- I couldn't believe how subtly changing your behaviour can change other peoples attitude and behaviour towards you. YOU MUST READ IT!!
Now I know where I was going wrong for all those years!!! , 21 Sep 2008
This book is fantastic!!! I was always too nice and then wondered what i did wrong - now I know and now I'm going to become a "bitch". The advice is practical and makes sense and the book is very easy to follow. The more i read the more i was glued to the book. Finished in 2 days! Great investment.
From a sceptic, 08 Nov 2008
I usually don't like books about how psychology as I find that they too often put people into boxes. Having said that I found this a book really good read and it helped me think more about the affect of my actions on my husband and how he responds to me and also what my hopes and expectations are and how to communicate them. A book can't ever cover everything but I found this insightful, constructive and applicable. A lesson in life and love that I won't forget.
A Key To Understanding The Opposite Sex, 31 Jul 2008
Dr. Gary Chapman has written a very practical book here that unlocks the doors to understanding the needs of your partner. Many books have been written on the subject, but I feel Dr. Chapman approaches these issues on understanding the opposite sex from a new and fresh perspective.
The key to successful relationships of any kind is understanding the other person better, and helping them to learn how to understand you and your ways.
I recommend this book to anyone wishing to enhance their personal relationships and further enrich their lives. A good book for everyone's bookshelf.
How To Keep Your Man: And Keep Him For Good
Real Life Dramas - Volume One: 1
Darren G. Burton
Keeping the love tank full!, 03 Jul 2008
I love this book! It is written and articulated very well. Step-by-step Gary Chapman identifies five major ways that we experience love in a relationship. "The Five Love Languages" helped me discover how I have communicated and how it can be more effective. Now I see that we can keep our love tank full by speaking our partner's primary love language because she or he will find it much easier to understand! The given examples were fun to read and it was easy for me to relate to different scenarios. It is a great book to anyone who wants to understand the dynamics in a relationship with their loved ones!
Also you might want to check out the books by Ariel and Shya Kane; they are brilliant! The Kanes' book "Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment" and "How To Create a Magical Relationship" surprised me with a whole new perspective on relationships. I used to suppress myself thinking that by "sacrificing", I would make my partner happy and the relationship would last. Well, they didn't last too long using that approach. From the Kanes' books and the website, I discovered if I am in the moment, I can truly express myself and it actually complements my relationships! Truly magical. I highly recommend them to anyone who wants to have a satisfying relationship!
This stuff works, 01 Jul 2008
I am working on building a more intimate relationship with my wife and this is by no means easy but i have tried some of the advice in this book and it certainly does work. I would recommend it to any married couple.
Very helpful but can put off non-Christians, 28 May 2008
I personally was given this book by my wife to read and I wish I had read it 10 years ago. The author is very right when he says that the "in-love" feeling that we first experience when we meet someone can disappear in the first 2 years of marriage. Once the "in-love" emotion disappears we wonder why we loved that person to begin with. Thus begins the excuses we generate to separate or divorce.
In this book, the author shows that love is not a feeling, but it is a decision. The decision that everyone needs to make to speak the love language of the person we love. That love language could be words of affection and encouragement, doing household chores, touching, giving gifts or spending quality time together.
While the book is great and very helpful, it may not appeal to non-Christians because the author insists by drawing examples from the Bible and Jesus' own life. While this is okay, and I am not anti-religion, I do believe the biblical references are unnecessary and may turn off secular readers. This is a pity as the book's main theory that we speak five separate love languages is very plausible and should be given respect.
VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.
well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.
However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.
As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.
A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)
...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.
If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.
Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.
Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.
For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.
This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.
Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.
Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.
Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.
Awful, 28 Nov 2008
Patronising American book.
As first time parent this book wasn't useful at all.
Tries to be funny, but misses the mark. When you've been up all night with a new born and need advice the jokes are even less "funny"
Babies aren't robots as this book refers to them as.
Kaz Cooke Kid Wrangling is far superior - and makes for far more enjoyable reading.
Excellent Manual!, 19 Feb 2008
This is an incredibly funny and extremely informative read. I have to give it 5 stars for it's innovation alone. We have a number of books in this area, all well written but none as enjoyable to learn from as this. Highly recommended. I'll be buying the toddler version once we're at that stage!
Not bad, but get's annoying quite quickly, 09 Feb 2008
As the book description states, this book reads as an operating manual which I thought may make it different to any 'normal' baby book, but this style of writing gets old and annoying very quickly, and I couldn't finish the book. There are also some factual errors he states generalities as cast iron "should be's"
Recommended, 11 Jun 2007
My husband found this book and loved it because it is written in what he would describe as a "male friendly" way, light hearted yet gets the serious point across and he read it without losing interest and understood every word without being daunted by the whole experience!
Quirky but flawed..., 26 May 2007
..says it all really. This is a really nice idea, a book that tells you how to unpack, programme and operate your new baby, just like that sparkly new HD TV.
The presentation is excellent and some of the humour gave me a number of wry smiles - but didn't make really laugh.
Please note that this is an American book so makes reference to diapers, pacifiers etc. etc. so I was sceptical whether the information given was consistent with UK guidelines (car seats etc.). However, there were some gems of information that I hadn't read elsewhere - I guess, ultimately, babies are babies no matter which country you live in!
This is probably best given as a present to an expectant father. He'll love reading it, until the baby actually arrives and he has no time left for such luxuries and his HD TV is covered in fingerprints.
|
|
|
 |
| |