"Let's look at the thoughts, attitudes, and emotions, as they're experienced, in their very different ways, by men and women". This is one of Allan Pease's chirpy gear-changes in this provocatively titled book. Then he begins to ruminate: men and women live in the same world, but they experience it as if they came from two different worlds. Boys like things, girls like people. Every boy wants to be in a gang, and wants a gun; every girl has her best friend, with whom she shares her secrets. Men want status and power, women want love. It's amazing, he concludes, that they can ever live together. Well, yes, and that living together is a pretty fraught business, though he doesn't seem keen to go too deeply into that: this psychology, with its frequent allusions to research and its jokey little dramatisations, is upbeat feelgood stuff, which is why it's made him such a fortune on three continents. "Listen to this!" he'll say, then on comes an Aussie squabble, the woman berating a husband whose grunts proclaim the fact that he's not listening. But to sell four million copies of a book about body language--in 33 different languages--means Pease and his wife Barbara must be getting something right. There are many scientifically-documented facts about the difference between the sexes, and Pease is selling them with a smile to an ever-growing public. You may be a contented member of that public, or you may find your hackles rising. It takes all sorts! Betty Tadman

VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.

well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.

However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.

As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.

A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)

...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.

If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.

Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.



Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.

For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.

This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.


Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.

Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.



Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.

VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.

well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.

However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.

As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.

A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)

...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.

If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.

Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.



Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.

For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.

This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.


Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.

Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.



Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.

Ms Calman does it again!, 24 Sep 2008
Ms Calman hits the jackpot once more with How 'not' to murder your mother! Having nodded in agreement all the way through Confessions of a Bad Mother and Failed Grown up I wasn't sure if, given my own wonderful relationship with my mother, How 'not' to Murder Your Mother would ring true. My goodness me! I laughed, I cried and I did nod along! A very honest and heartfelt book that anyone who has ever had a mother should read!

VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.

well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.

However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.

As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.

A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)

...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.

If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.

Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.



Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.

For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.

This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.


Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.

Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.



Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.

Ms Calman does it again!, 24 Sep 2008
Ms Calman hits the jackpot once more with How 'not' to murder your mother! Having nodded in agreement all the way through Confessions of a Bad Mother and Failed Grown up I wasn't sure if, given my own wonderful relationship with my mother, How 'not' to Murder Your Mother would ring true. My goodness me! I laughed, I cried and I did nod along! A very honest and heartfelt book that anyone who has ever had a mother should read!

Don't go, 25 Mar 2008
Recently Natsuki Takaya has dealt with the relationships of some of the supporting characters... and now it's back to the main trio.

And the nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" focuses on Tohru's growing feelings for Kyo, even as she struggles to free him from his curse -- and the scorn of the other zodiac members. Though there are some funny moments (mostly from the wonderfully wacky Ayame) growing romantic feelings and past regrets are littered all through these chapters.

Heartfelt talks take up a lot of space -- when Shigure tells Tohru about the approaching "last banquet" and the cat's place, she is left struggling with her torn feelings. Kyo has a chat with her kindly grandfather about Tohru, and remembers his own talk with her dead mother. And Shigure has a soul-baring talk with Hatori about the increasingly reclusive Akito, and just what he wants from her.

But the romantic tension growing between Kyo and Tohru are stifling Yuki, so he goes shopping out on the town, and eventually ends up visiting his brother. While the brothers talk, Yuki stirs up memories of the first time Ayame realized that his careless words could hurt people. But he isn't the only one -- amid the usual school council hijinks, Yuki finds out about a past conflict between Kakeru and Tohru...

In the grand scheme of things, not much actually happens in this volume -- it's mostly about the characters and their feelings.

Don't worry. It's not boring, especially since Takaya continues to weave in some darker threads about Kyo's bleak past and future, and his half-hidden regrets about Kyoko. And she lets readers have a look at how the characters are changing as they approach adulthood (Momiji has become the new "prince"). There's a bittersweet flavour even to the lighter chapters, since everything around them is changing so quickly.

But don't worry -- despite the darker moments, we still get lots of comic relief like Kyo bashing his head against the wall in exaggerated shame. And there are some deeply romantic moments, like a beautiful flashback to the start of Ayame's relationship with Mine. These moments are exquisitely beautiful without having to be too obvious, and Takaya's delicate artwork only adds to the feeling.

But the biggest romantic moments come for Tohru and Kyo. Tohru's inner struggles are further revealed, since she turns out to have some conflicting feelings about her parents and Kyo. And Kyo shows that he's grown out of the angry, self-loathing cat-boy he used to be, while Yuki has become more patient with his brother, and very sweet and loving toward his new girlfriend.

And Takaya doesn't neglect the other characters -- Kakeru turns out to be a romantic, Ayame definitely isn't gay, and Momiji has some secret romantic feelings. And Shigure's darker side casts a shadow over the first half of this manga.

The nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" explores the changing feelings of the characters, even as it inches toward the end. A really stellar, polished little manga.

VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.

well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.

However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.

As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.

A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)

...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.

If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.

Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.



Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.

For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.

This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.


Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.

Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.



Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.

Ms Calman does it again!, 24 Sep 2008
Ms Calman hits the jackpot once more with How 'not' to murder your mother! Having nodded in agreement all the way through Confessions of a Bad Mother and Failed Grown up I wasn't sure if, given my own wonderful relationship with my mother, How 'not' to Murder Your Mother would ring true. My goodness me! I laughed, I cried and I did nod along! A very honest and heartfelt book that anyone who has ever had a mother should read!

Don't go, 25 Mar 2008
Recently Natsuki Takaya has dealt with the relationships of some of the supporting characters... and now it's back to the main trio.

And the nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" focuses on Tohru's growing feelings for Kyo, even as she struggles to free him from his curse -- and the scorn of the other zodiac members. Though there are some funny moments (mostly from the wonderfully wacky Ayame) growing romantic feelings and past regrets are littered all through these chapters.

Heartfelt talks take up a lot of space -- when Shigure tells Tohru about the approaching "last banquet" and the cat's place, she is left struggling with her torn feelings. Kyo has a chat with her kindly grandfather about Tohru, and remembers his own talk with her dead mother. And Shigure has a soul-baring talk with Hatori about the increasingly reclusive Akito, and just what he wants from her.

But the romantic tension growing between Kyo and Tohru are stifling Yuki, so he goes shopping out on the town, and eventually ends up visiting his brother. While the brothers talk, Yuki stirs up memories of the first time Ayame realized that his careless words could hurt people. But he isn't the only one -- amid the usual school council hijinks, Yuki finds out about a past conflict between Kakeru and Tohru...

In the grand scheme of things, not much actually happens in this volume -- it's mostly about the characters and their feelings.

Don't worry. It's not boring, especially since Takaya continues to weave in some darker threads about Kyo's bleak past and future, and his half-hidden regrets about Kyoko. And she lets readers have a look at how the characters are changing as they approach adulthood (Momiji has become the new "prince"). There's a bittersweet flavour even to the lighter chapters, since everything around them is changing so quickly.

But don't worry -- despite the darker moments, we still get lots of comic relief like Kyo bashing his head against the wall in exaggerated shame. And there are some deeply romantic moments, like a beautiful flashback to the start of Ayame's relationship with Mine. These moments are exquisitely beautiful without having to be too obvious, and Takaya's delicate artwork only adds to the feeling.

But the biggest romantic moments come for Tohru and Kyo. Tohru's inner struggles are further revealed, since she turns out to have some conflicting feelings about her parents and Kyo. And Kyo shows that he's grown out of the angry, self-loathing cat-boy he used to be, while Yuki has become more patient with his brother, and very sweet and loving toward his new girlfriend.

And Takaya doesn't neglect the other characters -- Kakeru turns out to be a romantic, Ayame definitely isn't gay, and Momiji has some secret romantic feelings. And Shigure's darker side casts a shadow over the first half of this manga.

The nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" explores the changing feelings of the characters, even as it inches toward the end. A really stellar, polished little manga.

American Psycho-babble, 31 Aug 2007
The theory and model proposed in this book is a bit dated. It was gospel in 1992 and Pia Mellody was a household name with therapists and their clients in the UK. Many clients had it shoved down their neck as "the truth". I guess you would have to read it for yourself to know what everyone was raving about then, but I wouldn't bother reading it today. At the end of the day, it is only one theory to explain the complexity of human relationships, and a pretty limited one. People are much more complex than the simple attraction/avoidance dance she illustrates. Life has moved on and there are many more realistic theories and models now.

American Blah Blah but some things useful, 01 Apr 2005
wouldn't buy this book to save a relationship. but there were a few enlightening moments.

both technical and approachable, 01 Dec 1999
It took me a second reading to recognise the depth of insight which Pia mellody has to the problems of 'love addicts' and the avoidant partners who they suck in and are sucked towards. The book is by no means light and easy reading but it is structured in a way which will help anyone who truly wants to to benefit from it.

VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.

well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.

However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.

As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.

A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)

...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.

If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.

Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.



Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.

For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.

This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.


Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.

Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.



Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.

Ms Calman does it again!, 24 Sep 2008
Ms Calman hits the jackpot once more with How 'not' to murder your mother! Having nodded in agreement all the way through Confessions of a Bad Mother and Failed Grown up I wasn't sure if, given my own wonderful relationship with my mother, How 'not' to Murder Your Mother would ring true. My goodness me! I laughed, I cried and I did nod along! A very honest and heartfelt book that anyone who has ever had a mother should read!

Don't go, 25 Mar 2008
Recently Natsuki Takaya has dealt with the relationships of some of the supporting characters... and now it's back to the main trio.

And the nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" focuses on Tohru's growing feelings for Kyo, even as she struggles to free him from his curse -- and the scorn of the other zodiac members. Though there are some funny moments (mostly from the wonderfully wacky Ayame) growing romantic feelings and past regrets are littered all through these chapters.

Heartfelt talks take up a lot of space -- when Shigure tells Tohru about the approaching "last banquet" and the cat's place, she is left struggling with her torn feelings. Kyo has a chat with her kindly grandfather about Tohru, and remembers his own talk with her dead mother. And Shigure has a soul-baring talk with Hatori about the increasingly reclusive Akito, and just what he wants from her.

But the romantic tension growing between Kyo and Tohru are stifling Yuki, so he goes shopping out on the town, and eventually ends up visiting his brother. While the brothers talk, Yuki stirs up memories of the first time Ayame realized that his careless words could hurt people. But he isn't the only one -- amid the usual school council hijinks, Yuki finds out about a past conflict between Kakeru and Tohru...

In the grand scheme of things, not much actually happens in this volume -- it's mostly about the characters and their feelings.

Don't worry. It's not boring, especially since Takaya continues to weave in some darker threads about Kyo's bleak past and future, and his half-hidden regrets about Kyoko. And she lets readers have a look at how the characters are changing as they approach adulthood (Momiji has become the new "prince"). There's a bittersweet flavour even to the lighter chapters, since everything around them is changing so quickly.

But don't worry -- despite the darker moments, we still get lots of comic relief like Kyo bashing his head against the wall in exaggerated shame. And there are some deeply romantic moments, like a beautiful flashback to the start of Ayame's relationship with Mine. These moments are exquisitely beautiful without having to be too obvious, and Takaya's delicate artwork only adds to the feeling.

But the biggest romantic moments come for Tohru and Kyo. Tohru's inner struggles are further revealed, since she turns out to have some conflicting feelings about her parents and Kyo. And Kyo shows that he's grown out of the angry, self-loathing cat-boy he used to be, while Yuki has become more patient with his brother, and very sweet and loving toward his new girlfriend.

And Takaya doesn't neglect the other characters -- Kakeru turns out to be a romantic, Ayame definitely isn't gay, and Momiji has some secret romantic feelings. And Shigure's darker side casts a shadow over the first half of this manga.

The nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" explores the changing feelings of the characters, even as it inches toward the end. A really stellar, polished little manga.

American Psycho-babble, 31 Aug 2007
The theory and model proposed in this book is a bit dated. It was gospel in 1992 and Pia Mellody was a household name with therapists and their clients in the UK. Many clients had it shoved down their neck as "the truth". I guess you would have to read it for yourself to know what everyone was raving about then, but I wouldn't bother reading it today. At the end of the day, it is only one theory to explain the complexity of human relationships, and a pretty limited one. People are much more complex than the simple attraction/avoidance dance she illustrates. Life has moved on and there are many more realistic theories and models now.

American Blah Blah but some things useful, 01 Apr 2005
wouldn't buy this book to save a relationship. but there were a few enlightening moments.

both technical and approachable, 01 Dec 1999
It took me a second reading to recognise the depth of insight which Pia mellody has to the problems of 'love addicts' and the avoidant partners who they suck in and are sucked towards. The book is by no means light and easy reading but it is structured in a way which will help anyone who truly wants to to benefit from it.

The reason for adult codependence was never so clear, 12 Sep 2008
This book could not have been written by anyone other than a person that has suffered from codependent adult behaviour traits and patterns unless they had experienced themselves. Pia Melody has put together a marvelllously insightful book. I have looked at Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy and Religion in order to understand Why am I like I am? This book gives me the answer to that question and offers me hope that in recognising it I can overcome the detrimental effects of codependent behaviour and move forward aware and able to change in order to have healthier relationships with both myself and others.

A book for anyone wanting to understand themselves, 12 Dec 2001
I approached the reading of this book with a little skepticism but having read it, now wholeheartedly recommend it to others. What this book does that I havent seen done before, is to explain WHY we feel like we do, and HOW our childhood has so profoundly influenced us. In addition it provides excellent advice for parents in avoiding the pitfalls of causing our own children to act and think disfunctionally. The advice on how to get "better" is a little shallow and I didn't like the many additional references to Pia Mellody's other offerings.
Apart from this, a really excellent book.

I heartily endorse this book!!, 06 Feb 1999
It helped me undersatand the origins of my dysfunction and it wasn't my alcoholic spouse!

VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.

well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.

However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.

As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.

A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)

...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.

If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.

Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.



Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.

For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.

This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.


Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.

Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.



Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.

Ms Calman does it again!, 24 Sep 2008
Ms Calman hits the jackpot once more with How 'not' to murder your mother! Having nodded in agreement all the way through Confessions of a Bad Mother and Failed Grown up I wasn't sure if, given my own wonderful relationship with my mother, How 'not' to Murder Your Mother would ring true. My goodness me! I laughed, I cried and I did nod along! A very honest and heartfelt book that anyone who has ever had a mother should read!

Don't go, 25 Mar 2008
Recently Natsuki Takaya has dealt with the relationships of some of the supporting characters... and now it's back to the main trio.

And the nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" focuses on Tohru's growing feelings for Kyo, even as she struggles to free him from his curse -- and the scorn of the other zodiac members. Though there are some funny moments (mostly from the wonderfully wacky Ayame) growing romantic feelings and past regrets are littered all through these chapters.

Heartfelt talks take up a lot of space -- when Shigure tells Tohru about the approaching "last banquet" and the cat's place, she is left struggling with her torn feelings. Kyo has a chat with her kindly grandfather about Tohru, and remembers his own talk with her dead mother. And Shigure has a soul-baring talk with Hatori about the increasingly reclusive Akito, and just what he wants from her.

But the romantic tension growing between Kyo and Tohru are stifling Yuki, so he goes shopping out on the town, and eventually ends up visiting his brother. While the brothers talk, Yuki stirs up memories of the first time Ayame realized that his careless words could hurt people. But he isn't the only one -- amid the usual school council hijinks, Yuki finds out about a past conflict between Kakeru and Tohru...

In the grand scheme of things, not much actually happens in this volume -- it's mostly about the characters and their feelings.

Don't worry. It's not boring, especially since Takaya continues to weave in some darker threads about Kyo's bleak past and future, and his half-hidden regrets about Kyoko. And she lets readers have a look at how the characters are changing as they approach adulthood (Momiji has become the new "prince"). There's a bittersweet flavour even to the lighter chapters, since everything around them is changing so quickly.

But don't worry -- despite the darker moments, we still get lots of comic relief like Kyo bashing his head against the wall in exaggerated shame. And there are some deeply romantic moments, like a beautiful flashback to the start of Ayame's relationship with Mine. These moments are exquisitely beautiful without having to be too obvious, and Takaya's delicate artwork only adds to the feeling.

But the biggest romantic moments come for Tohru and Kyo. Tohru's inner struggles are further revealed, since she turns out to have some conflicting feelings about her parents and Kyo. And Kyo shows that he's grown out of the angry, self-loathing cat-boy he used to be, while Yuki has become more patient with his brother, and very sweet and loving toward his new girlfriend.

And Takaya doesn't neglect the other characters -- Kakeru turns out to be a romantic, Ayame definitely isn't gay, and Momiji has some secret romantic feelings. And Shigure's darker side casts a shadow over the first half of this manga.

The nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" explores the changing feelings of the characters, even as it inches toward the end. A really stellar, polished little manga.

American Psycho-babble, 31 Aug 2007
The theory and model proposed in this book is a bit dated. It was gospel in 1992 and Pia Mellody was a household name with therapists and their clients in the UK. Many clients had it shoved down their neck as "the truth". I guess you would have to read it for yourself to know what everyone was raving about then, but I wouldn't bother reading it today. At the end of the day, it is only one theory to explain the complexity of human relationships, and a pretty limited one. People are much more complex than the simple attraction/avoidance dance she illustrates. Life has moved on and there are many more realistic theories and models now.

American Blah Blah but some things useful, 01 Apr 2005
wouldn't buy this book to save a relationship. but there were a few enlightening moments.

both technical and approachable, 01 Dec 1999
It took me a second reading to recognise the depth of insight which Pia mellody has to the problems of 'love addicts' and the avoidant partners who they suck in and are sucked towards. The book is by no means light and easy reading but it is structured in a way which will help anyone who truly wants to to benefit from it.

The reason for adult codependence was never so clear, 12 Sep 2008
This book could not have been written by anyone other than a person that has suffered from codependent adult behaviour traits and patterns unless they had experienced themselves. Pia Melody has put together a marvelllously insightful book. I have looked at Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy and Religion in order to understand Why am I like I am? This book gives me the answer to that question and offers me hope that in recognising it I can overcome the detrimental effects of codependent behaviour and move forward aware and able to change in order to have healthier relationships with both myself and others.

A book for anyone wanting to understand themselves, 12 Dec 2001
I approached the reading of this book with a little skepticism but having read it, now wholeheartedly recommend it to others. What this book does that I havent seen done before, is to explain WHY we feel like we do, and HOW our childhood has so profoundly influenced us. In addition it provides excellent advice for parents in avoiding the pitfalls of causing our own children to act and think disfunctionally. The advice on how to get "better" is a little shallow and I didn't like the many additional references to Pia Mellody's other offerings.
Apart from this, a really excellent book.

I heartily endorse this book!!, 06 Feb 1999
It helped me undersatand the origins of my dysfunction and it wasn't my alcoholic spouse!

finally, a book that makes real sense, 05 Jul 1999
Living in colorado, the columbine incidient impacted us greatly. This book offers real, common sense help in dealing with all teens. I have put its principles in action with my teen, who is not beligerent, just typical, and they worked wonderfully. I had trouble with my older teen girls, the therapist thought they need more freedom, stating that I was too restrictive. That was lethal,it gave them more license to mishave. Here is an approach that finally makes real sense and gives the parent permission to be the adult.

This stuff works!, 06 Apr 1999
We got this book because of problems with our 15 year old son. We started seeing results immediately. Mr. Bodenhamer's techniques are practical. They are easy to use, although I have to say that it does take a great deal of self-control on the parents' parts to maintain the level of consistency. But it's worth it!

My child was at rock bottom..., 21 Jul 1998
We thought we had done everything we could do to help steer our 14 year old son on track from his social as well as criminal behavior. We attended a court-ordered parenting class, and "Parent In Control" was one of the recommended readings. Thank goodness!!

This book really sees it from the parent's perspective...no glossing it over from a psychiatric point of view, just plain living with a child who refuses to abide by society's rules...household rules...or legal rules.

I only wish I had encountered a book like this when my child was 6.

This book tackles your child's behavior from a no-nonsense approach in all areas: school, legal system, home, society. Don't miss it!!

THE book every parent will benefit from, 11 Jan 1998
This book tells it like it is and makes so much sense that it surprising we don't already know it instinctively. Any parent who has a child who is failing, manipulative, lazy, irresponsible and with a million excuses needs to put the control back where it belongs so needs this book badly. I highly recommend it.

Common-sense advice that really works!, 23 Jul 1997
I have worked with family behavior problems for over 20 years. This is the best book in the field. It really works!

VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.

well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.

However, I'm pulled up short by the quiz to determine whether you have a masculine or feminine brain.
Fair enough, I think. It has those nice a. b. c. choices like in women's magazines (always fun...) and then you add up your scores (so many for each a, so many for each b...) and see where you fall on the scale: the higher you score, the more feminine your brain. Sounds good.
Until I look at the scoring system and realize...the system is DIFFERENT depending on your gender. The quiz which they bill as "enlightening", presumably meaning that it will clearly show you that the women you give it to score higher than the men...well, of course it will, because the women score five points more for each a. answer than the men.

As a woman, I score 125.
If I were a man, with EXACTLY the same brain, I would score 90.

A 35 point gap, on a scale around 300 points long, is SIGNIFICANT. 35 points is bigger than the 30 point overlap they have between their cutoff points for masculine and feminine. A man and a woman could easily answer the questions exactly the same way, and their scores place the man in the masculine zone and the women in the feminine (I say easily, because since a's score highest either way and both my scores are firmly in the masculine zone, whatever gender I calculate as, you'd need to check more a's than me to hit the overlap zone, and doing that would increase the gap)

...so, what does it prove? That if you set up the system in a way that means women will score differently from men, they will score differently?
Well, duh.

If the sort of methods you use to determine difference are biased, the results will reflect that. And if you publish that quiz and expect people to use it and find it "enlightening", I can only assume it's representative of the research methods you base the book on.

Somehow, that makes me lose my faith in the rest of what they have to say. If you are going to say men and women's brains are wired differently and they are fundamentally different in x y and z ways, then you should have enough confidence in your hypothesis to judge them by the same yardstick.



Sham and Scam, 25 Jan 2008
This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.

For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.

This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.


Rather entertaining!, 03 Jan 2008
Having read some of the negative reviews I was somewhat wary of the content, but I must say that it is at the very least very entertaining. As I am not a psychologist or brain scientist, or any other type of scientist for that matter, I can't asses whether the authors claims and theories are true or false, neither can I comment on any of the apparent proof of them being wrong in the negative feedback. However, I did find many of the explanations to be plausible and not all that far fetched. Explanations about the theories are quite simplistic without much detailed reference to any researched, which is a downside to the book.

Both my wife and I got great laughs out of this book, and there where countless comments like: "That is so true!". Whether or not the theories are true or completely unproven didn't really matter to us, as it was still very good entertainment.



Why is it so difficult for some people to accept differences between the genders?, 22 Oct 2007
I read this book about 5 years ago and it subtly changed the way I dealt with both men and other women. In making slight changes to the way I communicated and expected communication back I significantly improved both my professional and personal relationships.
Why is it that people will willingly accept some evolutionary factors (self preservation, fight or flight mechanisms etc), but as soon as it is suggested that evolution may have encouraged the development of different traits in men and women it becomes a 'sensitive' issue. Clearly everyone is different and there is a lot more than simply evolution which makes us what we are. However, understanding that the genders will often communicate differently, and why, is a great step forward in the 'equal but different' debate.
Yes, this book is written to appeal to the masses, and the use of metaphors and examples is sometimes sweeping. But the message is good and is got across in a way which is easy to understand and use.

Ms Calman does it again!, 24 Sep 2008
Ms Calman hits the jackpot once more with How 'not' to murder your mother! Having nodded in agreement all the way through Confessions of a Bad Mother and Failed Grown up I wasn't sure if, given my own wonderful relationship with my mother, How 'not' to Murder Your Mother would ring true. My goodness me! I laughed, I cried and I did nod along! A very honest and heartfelt book that anyone who has ever had a mother should read!

Don't go, 25 Mar 2008
Recently Natsuki Takaya has dealt with the relationships of some of the supporting characters... and now it's back to the main trio.

And the nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" focuses on Tohru's growing feelings for Kyo, even as she struggles to free him from his curse -- and the scorn of the other zodiac members. Though there are some funny moments (mostly from the wonderfully wacky Ayame) growing romantic feelings and past regrets are littered all through these chapters.

Heartfelt talks take up a lot of space -- when Shigure tells Tohru about the approaching "last banquet" and the cat's place, she is left struggling with her torn feelings. Kyo has a chat with her kindly grandfather about Tohru, and remembers his own talk with her dead mother. And Shigure has a soul-baring talk with Hatori about the increasingly reclusive Akito, and just what he wants from her.

But the romantic tension growing between Kyo and Tohru are stifling Yuki, so he goes shopping out on the town, and eventually ends up visiting his brother. While the brothers talk, Yuki stirs up memories of the first time Ayame realized that his careless words could hurt people. But he isn't the only one -- amid the usual school council hijinks, Yuki finds out about a past conflict between Kakeru and Tohru...

In the grand scheme of things, not much actually happens in this volume -- it's mostly about the characters and their feelings.

Don't worry. It's not boring, especially since Takaya continues to weave in some darker threads about Kyo's bleak past and future, and his half-hidden regrets about Kyoko. And she lets readers have a look at how the characters are changing as they approach adulthood (Momiji has become the new "prince"). There's a bittersweet flavour even to the lighter chapters, since everything around them is changing so quickly.

But don't worry -- despite the darker moments, we still get lots of comic relief like Kyo bashing his head against the wall in exaggerated shame. And there are some deeply romantic moments, like a beautiful flashback to the start of Ayame's relationship with Mine. These moments are exquisitely beautiful without having to be too obvious, and Takaya's delicate artwork only adds to the feeling.

But the biggest romantic moments come for Tohru and Kyo. Tohru's inner struggles are further revealed, since she turns out to have some conflicting feelings about her parents and Kyo. And Kyo shows that he's grown out of the angry, self-loathing cat-boy he used to be, while Yuki has become more patient with his brother, and very sweet and loving toward his new girlfriend.

And Takaya doesn't neglect the other characters -- Kakeru turns out to be a romantic, Ayame definitely isn't gay, and Momiji has some secret romantic feelings. And Shigure's darker side casts a shadow over the first half of this manga.

The nineteenth volume of "Fruits Basket" explores the changing feelings of the characters, even as it inches toward the end. A really stellar, polished little manga.

American Psycho-babble, 31 Aug 2007
The theory and model proposed in this book is a bit dated. It was gospel in 1992 and Pia Mellody was a household name with therapists and their clients in the UK. Many clients had it shoved down their neck as "the truth". I guess you would have to read it for yourself to know what everyone was raving about then, but I wouldn't bother reading it today. At the end of the day, it is only one theory to explain the complexity of human relationships, and a pretty limited one. People are much more complex than the simple attraction/avoidance dance she illustrates. Life has moved on and there are many more realistic theories and models now.

American Blah Blah but some things useful, 01 Apr 2005
wouldn't buy this book to save a relationship. but there were a few enlightening moments.

both technical and approachable, 01 Dec 1999
It took me a second reading to recognise the depth of insight which Pia mellody has to the problems of 'love addicts' and the avoidant partners who they suck in and are sucked towards. The book is by no means light and easy reading but it is structured in a way which will help anyone who truly wants to to benefit from it.

The reason for adult codependence was never so clear, 12 Sep 2008
This book could not have been written by anyone other than a person that has suffered from codependent adult behaviour traits and patterns unless they had experienced themselves. Pia Melody has put together a marvelllously insightful book. I have looked at Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy and Religion in order to understand Why am I like I am? This book gives me the answer to that question and offers me hope that in recognising it I can overcome the detrimental effects of codependent behaviour and move forward aware and able to change in order to have healthier relationships with both myself and others.

A book for anyone wanting to understand themselves, 12 Dec 2001
I approached the reading of this book with a little skepticism but having read it, now wholeheartedly recommend it to others. What this book does that I havent seen done before, is to explain WHY we feel like we do, and HOW our childhood has so profoundly influenced us. In addition it provides excellent advice for parents in avoiding the pitfalls of causing our own children to act and think disfunctionally. The advice on how to get "better" is a little shallow and I didn't like the many additional references to Pia Mellody's other offerings.
Apart from this, a really excellent book.

I heartily endorse this book!!, 06 Feb 1999
It helped me undersatand the origins of my dysfunction and it wasn't my alcoholic spouse!

finally, a book that makes real sense, 05 Jul 1999
Living in colorado, the columbine incidient impacted us greatly. This book offers real, common sense help in dealing with all teens. I have put its principles in action with my teen, who is not beligerent, just typical, and they worked wonderfully. I had trouble with my older teen girls, the therapist thought they need more freedom, stating that I was too restrictive. That was lethal,it gave them more license to mishave. Here is an approach that finally makes real sense and gives the parent permission to be the adult.

This stuff works!, 06 Apr 1999
We got this book because of problems with our 15 year old son. We started seeing results immediately. Mr. Bodenhamer's techniques are practical. They are easy to use, although I have to say that it does take a great deal of self-control on the parents' parts to maintain the level of consistency. But it's worth it!

My child was at rock bottom..., 21 Jul 1998
We thought we had done everything we could do to help steer our 14 year old son on track from his social as well as criminal behavior. We attended a court-ordered parenting class, and "Parent In Control" was one of the recommended readings. Thank goodness!!

This book really sees it from the parent's perspective...no glossing it over from a psychiatric point of view, just plain living with a child who refuses to abide by society's rules...household rules...or legal rules.

I only wish I had encountered a book like this when my child was 6.

This book tackles your child's behavior from a no-nonsense approach in all areas: school, legal system, home, society. Don't miss it!!

THE book every parent will benefit from, 11 Jan 1998
This book tells it like it is and makes so much sense that it surprising we don't already know it instinctively. Any parent who has a child who is failing, manipulative, lazy, irresponsible and with a million excuses needs to put the control back where it belongs so needs this book badly. I highly recommend it.

Common-sense advice that really works!, 23 Jul 1997
I have worked with family behavior problems for over 20 years. This is the best book in the field. It really works!

Beautifully illustrated, but...., 25 Aug 2008
The best part of this book is its pictures--an amazing selection of satirical and "bawdy" prints from about 1790 to about 1830. Vic Gatrell's text is a robust defence of the society which created these pictures. The reader, having ploughed through 600 pages of pictures which are only funny if farting, urinating, defecating and copulating are funny in themselves, may possibly end up in a state of bilious revulsion against the whole age. The print makers celebrated "libertine" sex but also mocked the Prince of Wales crudely and persistently for having a mistress. They mocked William Wilberforce in horrible prints for trying to abolish the slave trade (see p480). They portrayed women as slabs of meat (see p386).

Vic Gatrell defends every one of the values of the age. For instance, on p109 he suggests that prostitutes in that age were on the whole happy--and apparently does so simply because Thomas Rowlandson portrayed them as happy in a print. The chapter "What Could Women Bear?" toys with the idea that the age could have been misogynistic (surely not!) but rebuts the charge with naïve arguments that show his ignorance of feminist criticism. A reading of "The Troublesome Helpmate" by Katharine M Rogers (1966) could have helped him here.

As we might expect, this portrayal of the pre-Victorian "Golden Age" ends with those nasty Victorian moralisers bringing in the "Age of Cant"--a term apparently invented by Lord Byron to pin down the kind of people who wanted to limit Byron's sex life. Here Gatrell's arguments descend into a persistent sarcasm which allows him to talk of "morality" and "improvement" (with or without inverted commas) without actually showing that they were bad things. For instance, on pp574-5 he quotes Francis Place, who wrote in 1820 of the improvements in hygiene and behaviour that he had seen in the past thirty years. Place's comments are quoted with an implicit mockery, but it is difficult to see why. Were things really better in the good old days when the streets were full of "wretched half-starved, miserable scald headed children, with ricketty limbs and bandy legs"?

The Victorians were the people who stopped children being sent up chimneys, not the people who started the practice. The Victorians were the people who realised, with a shock, that many of the values they inherited were hypocritical, and started to insist that something should be done about it. They were the people who finally realised that the poorest of their society were suffering, and started to do something about that, too. They even realised that libertine sex might end in women getting a pretty raw deal. Is it not possible that the Victorian age actually was what it said it was: an Age of Improvement?

Nice pictures, though.


Brilliant, 26 Oct 2007
This is a fascinating, original, and utterly absorbing study of the Eighteenth Century. It is worth buying for the illustrations alone! Gatrell writes with warmth and insight - this is what literary history should be!

VERY generalised theories - I prefer John Gray books. , 26 Aug 2008
I started reading this book after having read "Men are from Mars..." by John Gray. First few chapters appealed to me, following the first 3 chapters the more I read the more generalised it became, obviously I know these types of books are aimed for the majority, however this book became increasingly vague towards the end and I lost interest. Worth a look but nowhere near as good as John Gray books.

well...., 18 May 2008
Well, it looks to be perpetuating stereotypes sure enough, just from the title.
I was prepared to give it a shot, though. I'm relatively uncritical, and I am perfectly prepared to admit that authors have probably done their research and know more about the subject than I do, otherwise I wouldn't bother reading the book. And titles are sensationalist, and you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

So I start reading, objectively and open-minded. I'm not looking to pick holes in anything it says.

However, I'