Ok as a general overview, but not really worth bothering with.., 10 Dec 2008
I bought this book as I have just found I am expecting twin sons, and coming from a very female dominated family, wanted to try and get my head round it a bit. On the plus side, it is quite a short book and easy and accessible to read. However, because it trys to cover boys' development from birth to age 16, it is rather generalised with the result that no subject is really covered in depth, although it tends more towards advice for adolescents.

In a nutshell, the advice is to give boys lots of love and attention in the early years and provide them with good male role models later - general common sense really. This is interspersed with some more specific random advice, such as how to wash a baby boy's penis and some possibly not quite such useful suggestions i.e. holding a "ceremony for honouring the start of adolesence and giving sexuality a positive start" Hmmmmm. I also found some of the advice rather irritatingly patronising, such as encouraging boys to cook (tip: "roll up their sleeves and wear an apron, handle knives with lots of care").

Ok as a general overview, but overall not a particularly satisfying or informative read, particularly if your sons are still very young. The book does touch on some interesting subjects, but I found that these were not explored in enough depth to be of much use.

Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!

Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.

What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.

I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.

I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.

A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.

yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?

Ok as a general overview, but not really worth bothering with.., 10 Dec 2008
I bought this book as I have just found I am expecting twin sons, and coming from a very female dominated family, wanted to try and get my head round it a bit. On the plus side, it is quite a short book and easy and accessible to read. However, because it trys to cover boys' development from birth to age 16, it is rather generalised with the result that no subject is really covered in depth, although it tends more towards advice for adolescents.

In a nutshell, the advice is to give boys lots of love and attention in the early years and provide them with good male role models later - general common sense really. This is interspersed with some more specific random advice, such as how to wash a baby boy's penis and some possibly not quite such useful suggestions i.e. holding a "ceremony for honouring the start of adolesence and giving sexuality a positive start" Hmmmmm. I also found some of the advice rather irritatingly patronising, such as encouraging boys to cook (tip: "roll up their sleeves and wear an apron, handle knives with lots of care").

Ok as a general overview, but overall not a particularly satisfying or informative read, particularly if your sons are still very young. The book does touch on some interesting subjects, but I found that these were not explored in enough depth to be of much use.

Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!

Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.

What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.

I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.

I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.

A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.

yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?


Marvellous! Recommended., 21 Sep 2007
When it comes to "self study" guides for pilates, yoga, etc. it seems to me you've got to find the book or DVD that works best for you.

With yoga my favorite guide of all time is Richard Hittleman's 28 DAY YOGA EXERCISE. The simple, figure-against-black photographs and straight-forward descriptions are exactly what I needed to learn (decades ago now--my mother gave me my first copy!). For busy folks Hittleman provides easy-to-follow routines.

Having bought several pilates books and a DVD, none of which did it for me, I had stopped looking for a pilates book. Then I chanced to see PILATES FOR MEN. 10 minutes later I bought it.

Like Hittleman's approach it's the accessibility and ease-of-use that does it for me. The pencil drawings are excellent, with the required movements easy to see. The text is straight-forward. And the exercises are presented in the order you might use them in. This is just what I needed given the way I process "kinesthetic instructions on the page" and a fairly busy life.

The trick is to get a copy of this book in your hands and get a sense of how you might use it learning pilates or brushing up and how it might serve you in developing a plan to squeeze into your life.

Personally, I'd say this is a classic. But who knows and only time will tell.

Dr. Kirtland C Peterson

Great book, 05 Apr 2007
This is a well written and extremely well-illustrated manual for the beginner and intermediate Pilates aficionado. It would be great if it were spiral bound, but that is a minor qualm. Lyon does warn people with various back, knee and hip problems about certain exercises and very sensibly states that if an exercise causes pain to stop immediately, but if you are a true beginner please use this to accompany your work in a class. Personal instruction will help you get the breathing technique correct and ensure that you do not overdo it. After that, this book will be a great reference and source of encouragement.

Excellent!, 24 Jan 2007
Daniel Lyons' book is clearly written and includes all Pilates mat work from beginner to advanced. As such, if you are interested in doing Pilates at home (no equipment needed), then this book is all you need!

Lyons explains that Jospeh Pilates was a boxer, and that his early clients were boxers and wrestlers. Pilates was created for men, but through the fact that dancers have found it to be so good has become a women-dominated exercise system.

The boxer/wrestler connection is actually easy to see with excercises including wrestlers neck bridges, push ups, etc.

This book is also beautifully illustrated with line drawings of the author performing each movement. Clear, detailed and succint.

If you want to strengthen your core and change your entire body in a few weeks, get this book!

A Book for the Younger Man!, 20 Jan 2007
This book is packed with every conceivable excercise imaginable, and would be excellent for the young sports minded individual. It is really a fitness manual!

For someone of mature years, looking to nurse a toublesome back condition, it is far from perfect. Some of the exercises I rate as pretty dangerous to anyone with disc related problems, and while the book makes constant reference to avoiding any exercises which cause pain, it seems to lack any gentle introduction for such conditions.

On page 327 it finally deals with injured and weak joints, giving broad advise on the range of exercises which should be avoided.

I regret buying this book, and should have chosen the Lynne Robinson Manual which has a far more sympathetic approach

A Classic book, 06 Jan 2007
There are some books which just stand out from the crowd and this is one of them.

If you are tired of spending money on gym memberships and fitness equipment you never use then this is the book for you.

Like anything, getting into a routine is the most difficult part, but once you do, you will feel different within a week to two weeks and look different within a month. Routines are well structured and very well illustrated with sketch type drawings which I feel are far more clear than the usual photographs. Every aspect of practice is covered with advice/sections on how to work around injuries, to being a bit overweight, to just being plain stiff :)

If you have problems with some of beginers exercises please don't be put off, as the author says "do what you can" you don't have to do every single move in each section. I had trouble with some of the moves (stiff back) but did what I could and once I had gained a bit more flexibility went back to them. Just take it easy to start with and you will be surprised how quickly you loosen up.

Well worth five stars.

Ok as a general overview, but not really worth bothering with.., 10 Dec 2008
I bought this book as I have just found I am expecting twin sons, and coming from a very female dominated family, wanted to try and get my head round it a bit. On the plus side, it is quite a short book and easy and accessible to read. However, because it trys to cover boys' development from birth to age 16, it is rather generalised with the result that no subject is really covered in depth, although it tends more towards advice for adolescents.

In a nutshell, the advice is to give boys lots of love and attention in the early years and provide them with good male role models later - general common sense really. This is interspersed with some more specific random advice, such as how to wash a baby boy's penis and some possibly not quite such useful suggestions i.e. holding a "ceremony for honouring the start of adolesence and giving sexuality a positive start" Hmmmmm. I also found some of the advice rather irritatingly patronising, such as encouraging boys to cook (tip: "roll up their sleeves and wear an apron, handle knives with lots of care").

Ok as a general overview, but overall not a particularly satisfying or informative read, particularly if your sons are still very young. The book does touch on some interesting subjects, but I found that these were not explored in enough depth to be of much use.

Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!

Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.

What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.

I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.

I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.

A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.

yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?


Marvellous! Recommended., 21 Sep 2007
When it comes to "self study" guides for pilates, yoga, etc. it seems to me you've got to find the book or DVD that works best for you.

With yoga my favorite guide of all time is Richard Hittleman's 28 DAY YOGA EXERCISE. The simple, figure-against-black photographs and straight-forward descriptions are exactly what I needed to learn (decades ago now--my mother gave me my first copy!). For busy folks Hittleman provides easy-to-follow routines.

Having bought several pilates books and a DVD, none of which did it for me, I had stopped looking for a pilates book. Then I chanced to see PILATES FOR MEN. 10 minutes later I bought it.

Like Hittleman's approach it's the accessibility and ease-of-use that does it for me. The pencil drawings are excellent, with the required movements easy to see. The text is straight-forward. And the exercises are presented in the order you might use them in. This is just what I needed given the way I process "kinesthetic instructions on the page" and a fairly busy life.

The trick is to get a copy of this book in your hands and get a sense of how you might use it learning pilates or brushing up and how it might serve you in developing a plan to squeeze into your life.

Personally, I'd say this is a classic. But who knows and only time will tell.

Dr. Kirtland C Peterson

Great book, 05 Apr 2007
This is a well written and extremely well-illustrated manual for the beginner and intermediate Pilates aficionado. It would be great if it were spiral bound, but that is a minor qualm. Lyon does warn people with various back, knee and hip problems about certain exercises and very sensibly states that if an exercise causes pain to stop immediately, but if you are a true beginner please use this to accompany your work in a class. Personal instruction will help you get the breathing technique correct and ensure that you do not overdo it. After that, this book will be a great reference and source of encouragement.

Excellent!, 24 Jan 2007
Daniel Lyons' book is clearly written and includes all Pilates mat work from beginner to advanced. As such, if you are interested in doing Pilates at home (no equipment needed), then this book is all you need!

Lyons explains that Jospeh Pilates was a boxer, and that his early clients were boxers and wrestlers. Pilates was created for men, but through the fact that dancers have found it to be so good has become a women-dominated exercise system.

The boxer/wrestler connection is actually easy to see with excercises including wrestlers neck bridges, push ups, etc.

This book is also beautifully illustrated with line drawings of the author performing each movement. Clear, detailed and succint.

If you want to strengthen your core and change your entire body in a few weeks, get this book!

A Book for the Younger Man!, 20 Jan 2007
This book is packed with every conceivable excercise imaginable, and would be excellent for the young sports minded individual. It is really a fitness manual!

For someone of mature years, looking to nurse a toublesome back condition, it is far from perfect. Some of the exercises I rate as pretty dangerous to anyone with disc related problems, and while the book makes constant reference to avoiding any exercises which cause pain, it seems to lack any gentle introduction for such conditions.

On page 327 it finally deals with injured and weak joints, giving broad advise on the range of exercises which should be avoided.

I regret buying this book, and should have chosen the Lynne Robinson Manual which has a far more sympathetic approach

A Classic book, 06 Jan 2007
There are some books which just stand out from the crowd and this is one of them.

If you are tired of spending money on gym memberships and fitness equipment you never use then this is the book for you.

Like anything, getting into a routine is the most difficult part, but once you do, you will feel different within a week to two weeks and look different within a month. Routines are well structured and very well illustrated with sketch type drawings which I feel are far more clear than the usual photographs. Every aspect of practice is covered with advice/sections on how to work around injuries, to being a bit overweight, to just being plain stiff :)

If you have problems with some of beginers exercises please don't be put off, as the author says "do what you can" you don't have to do every single move in each section. I had trouble with some of the moves (stiff back) but did what I could and once I had gained a bit more flexibility went back to them. Just take it easy to start with and you will be surprised how quickly you loosen up.

Well worth five stars.





The Men Commandments, 09 Nov 2008
This book was in my local library and as I had not heard of either Christian O'Connell or the Men Commandments I was curious.

I found it to be well written and highly entertaining, and had to check and ensure that my wife was still at home as Christian's description of his wife was so true to the way that I imagine mine to be that I thought they must be related.

I did wonder how he managed to write the book and remain living and actually wrote to him and asked if he was a re-incarnation of his former self following it's publication. He replied that he now knew how Salmon Rushdie felt and that he had gone into hiding.

To me, it was a book that you could open at virtually any page and find something amusing or true to life. I have recommended it to many of my friends as, a must read. Christian has put down on paper the subtle differences between men and women in a light hearted manner that is so true to life.

To me it was thoroughly enjoyable and I can thoroughly recommend it.

David A

Compulsory Marraige Guidance Text, 09 Nov 2008
What a saviour you have proved to be to mankind. The book completely captures what it's like to live life as a married man in the twenty first century. Reading it has proved life changing as I'm no longer going round wondering why the women in my life are so batty and why they just don't get 'stuff' that I think (or don't think) and do (or don't do)!

I virtually pissed myself laughing out loud at some (actually most) of the observations in the book and the logging of the gene differences is the funniest and most true analysis of genetics to have been undertaken!! Surely a nobel prize of some sort will be winging its way to you before the end of the year.

I don't know how many copies of the book you've sold but I must be responsible for a significant proportion as I've recommended it to every mate, mate's wife and passing strangers that I've encountered.

You are a liberator of men and relationships and the book should be a standard text in all schools (life skill courses), Relate sessions and divorce pre-hearings. I can feel the divorce rate statistics tumbling over the coming months and years as the text takes hold in society - placed alongside the Oxford Concise Dictionary and the Bible on the book shelves of millions of homes.

Other reviews here say its all been said before in other books - who cares, I havent read them and this one's great!!

Nail on the head, 16 Oct 2008
This book is laugh out loud funny. I don't listen to Virgin Radio so this is my first encounter with the wit and wisdom of Christian O'Connell. His commentary on the differences between men and women is sharp, accurate and observant. From the very start of the book, I found myself nodding in agreement with his wry observations and spot-on remarks. I recognise so many traits of both myself and my wife in this book. It's nice to know that nearly all men are basically the same. The only disagreement I have with him is that he hates cats. (I'm a cat person.)

absolutely loved it.... I read my husbands copy!, 21 Sep 2008
I brought this for my husband and ended up reading it myself.I have never listened to the show either but my husband does so I brought it on the off chance for him for christmas.I started reading and saw so much of my husband that I couldnt wait till christmas to say " oh my god your like that". I think the style of writing is talkative, lively and a great book to pull out at dinner parties and keep in your downstairs loo as everyone will have an opinion.

JOE IS RIGHT!, 21 Sep 2008
Joe is right. This book is totally unfunny and been done many times in the past but a lot better. All tired cliched stuff like women good at picking clothes but wanting men to pay for them. Hilarious stuff, eh?

Ok as a general overview, but not really worth bothering with.., 10 Dec 2008
I bought this book as I have just found I am expecting twin sons, and coming from a very female dominated family, wanted to try and get my head round it a bit. On the plus side, it is quite a short book and easy and accessible to read. However, because it trys to cover boys' development from birth to age 16, it is rather generalised with the result that no subject is really covered in depth, although it tends more towards advice for adolescents.

In a nutshell, the advice is to give boys lots of love and attention in the early years and provide them with good male role models later - general common sense really. This is interspersed with some more specific random advice, such as how to wash a baby boy's penis and some possibly not quite such useful suggestions i.e. holding a "ceremony for honouring the start of adolesence and giving sexuality a positive start" Hmmmmm. I also found some of the advice rather irritatingly patronising, such as encouraging boys to cook (tip: "roll up their sleeves and wear an apron, handle knives with lots of care").

Ok as a general overview, but overall not a particularly satisfying or informative read, particularly if your sons are still very young. The book does touch on some interesting subjects, but I found that these were not explored in enough depth to be of much use.

Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!

Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.

What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.

I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.

I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.

A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.

yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?


Marvellous! Recommended., 21 Sep 2007
When it comes to "self study" guides for pilates, yoga, etc. it seems to me you've got to find the book or DVD that works best for you.

With yoga my favorite guide of all time is Richard Hittleman's 28 DAY YOGA EXERCISE. The simple, figure-against-black photographs and straight-forward descriptions are exactly what I needed to learn (decades ago now--my mother gave me my first copy!). For busy folks Hittleman provides easy-to-follow routines.

Having bought several pilates books and a DVD, none of which did it for me, I had stopped looking for a pilates book. Then I chanced to see PILATES FOR MEN. 10 minutes later I bought it.

Like Hittleman's approach it's the accessibility and ease-of-use that does it for me. The pencil drawings are excellent, with the required movements easy to see. The text is straight-forward. And the exercises are presented in the order you might use them in. This is just what I needed given the way I process "kinesthetic instructions on the page" and a fairly busy life.

The trick is to get a copy of this book in your hands and get a sense of how you might use it learning pilates or brushing up and how it might serve you in developing a plan to squeeze into your life.

Personally, I'd say this is a classic. But who knows and only time will tell.

Dr. Kirtland C Peterson

Great book, 05 Apr 2007
This is a well written and extremely well-illustrated manual for the beginner and intermediate Pilates aficionado. It would be great if it were spiral bound, but that is a minor qualm. Lyon does warn people with various back, knee and hip problems about certain exercises and very sensibly states that if an exercise causes pain to stop immediately, but if you are a true beginner please use this to accompany your work in a class. Personal instruction will help you get the breathing technique correct and ensure that you do not overdo it. After that, this book will be a great reference and source of encouragement.

Excellent!, 24 Jan 2007
Daniel Lyons' book is clearly written and includes all Pilates mat work from beginner to advanced. As such, if you are interested in doing Pilates at home (no equipment needed), then this book is all you need!

Lyons explains that Jospeh Pilates was a boxer, and that his early clients were boxers and wrestlers. Pilates was created for men, but through the fact that dancers have found it to be so good has become a women-dominated exercise system.

The boxer/wrestler connection is actually easy to see with excercises including wrestlers neck bridges, push ups, etc.

This book is also beautifully illustrated with line drawings of the author performing each movement. Clear, detailed and succint.

If you want to strengthen your core and change your entire body in a few weeks, get this book!

A Book for the Younger Man!, 20 Jan 2007
This book is packed with every conceivable excercise imaginable, and would be excellent for the young sports minded individual. It is really a fitness manual!

For someone of mature years, looking to nurse a toublesome back condition, it is far from perfect. Some of the exercises I rate as pretty dangerous to anyone with disc related problems, and while the book makes constant reference to avoiding any exercises which cause pain, it seems to lack any gentle introduction for such conditions.

On page 327 it finally deals with injured and weak joints, giving broad advise on the range of exercises which should be avoided.

I regret buying this book, and should have chosen the Lynne Robinson Manual which has a far more sympathetic approach

A Classic book, 06 Jan 2007
There are some books which just stand out from the crowd and this is one of them.

If you are tired of spending money on gym memberships and fitness equipment you never use then this is the book for you.

Like anything, getting into a routine is the most difficult part, but once you do, you will feel different within a week to two weeks and look different within a month. Routines are well structured and very well illustrated with sketch type drawings which I feel are far more clear than the usual photographs. Every aspect of practice is covered with advice/sections on how to work around injuries, to being a bit overweight, to just being plain stiff :)

If you have problems with some of beginers exercises please don't be put off, as the author says "do what you can" you don't have to do every single move in each section. I had trouble with some of the moves (stiff back) but did what I could and once I had gained a bit more flexibility went back to them. Just take it easy to start with and you will be surprised how quickly you loosen up.

Well worth five stars.





The Men Commandments, 09 Nov 2008
This book was in my local library and as I had not heard of either Christian O'Connell or the Men Commandments I was curious.

I found it to be well written and highly entertaining, and had to check and ensure that my wife was still at home as Christian's description of his wife was so true to the way that I imagine mine to be that I thought they must be related.

I did wonder how he managed to write the book and remain living and actually wrote to him and asked if he was a re-incarnation of his former self following it's publication. He replied that he now knew how Salmon Rushdie felt and that he had gone into hiding.

To me, it was a book that you could open at virtually any page and find something amusing or true to life. I have recommended it to many of my friends as, a must read. Christian has put down on paper the subtle differences between men and women in a light hearted manner that is so true to life.

To me it was thoroughly enjoyable and I can thoroughly recommend it.

David A

Compulsory Marraige Guidance Text, 09 Nov 2008
What a saviour you have proved to be to mankind. The book completely captures what it's like to live life as a married man in the twenty first century. Reading it has proved life changing as I'm no longer going round wondering why the women in my life are so batty and why they just don't get 'stuff' that I think (or don't think) and do (or don't do)!

I virtually pissed myself laughing out loud at some (actually most) of the observations in the book and the logging of the gene differences is the funniest and most true analysis of genetics to have been undertaken!! Surely a nobel prize of some sort will be winging its way to you before the end of the year.

I don't know how many copies of the book you've sold but I must be responsible for a significant proportion as I've recommended it to every mate, mate's wife and passing strangers that I've encountered.

You are a liberator of men and relationships and the book should be a standard text in all schools (life skill courses), Relate sessions and divorce pre-hearings. I can feel the divorce rate statistics tumbling over the coming months and years as the text takes hold in society - placed alongside the Oxford Concise Dictionary and the Bible on the book shelves of millions of homes.

Other reviews here say its all been said before in other books - who cares, I havent read them and this one's great!!

Nail on the head, 16 Oct 2008
This book is laugh out loud funny. I don't listen to Virgin Radio so this is my first encounter with the wit and wisdom of Christian O'Connell. His commentary on the differences between men and women is sharp, accurate and observant. From the very start of the book, I found myself nodding in agreement with his wry observations and spot-on remarks. I recognise so many traits of both myself and my wife in this book. It's nice to know that nearly all men are basically the same. The only disagreement I have with him is that he hates cats. (I'm a cat person.)

absolutely loved it.... I read my husbands copy!, 21 Sep 2008
I brought this for my husband and ended up reading it myself.I have never listened to the show either but my husband does so I brought it on the off chance for him for christmas.I started reading and saw so much of my husband that I couldnt wait till christmas to say " oh my god your like that". I think the style of writing is talkative, lively and a great book to pull out at dinner parties and keep in your downstairs loo as everyone will have an opinion.

JOE IS RIGHT!, 21 Sep 2008
Joe is right. This book is totally unfunny and been done many times in the past but a lot better. All tired cliched stuff like women good at picking clothes but wanting men to pay for them. Hilarious stuff, eh?

This is one to read if you want to be a superior man, 05 Jan 2009
This book is amazing I'm almost half way through moved and touched by it. It says so much about being a man but gives so much in the understating of what it is to be in the presence of a woman fully and totally without any misconceptions buts or ifs. David is truly a great author and lover of women and the human race and sprit. I truly believe that every man should read this book.

A great experience of the jouney of manhood, 09 Jan 2008
I found its extremely helpful in terms of the concept of magnifying oneself's core desire and deep purpose. I believe thats the core thing for a man to deal with whatever his work or women. some people may find the author's wording a bit exaggerated, and some techniques could be suspected, but i recon that techniques cannot be aligned with the core information the author trying to communicate. For example, a man who s really good at chatting up women might have a lot of techniques to use when he meets a woman he s attracted to, but in the deep level his success with women is not due to his techniques really great, its because the person he is being. Someone may copy his technique and it might work, but he cannot success all day long because the person he is being. So it is as the world at large. Whatever we do, focus on techniques maybe helpful for a moment, it wont improve the core being which is on the deeper level; but improve the core being will guarantee that u will create ur own style of techniques.

Some great chapters others not so much..., 26 Nov 2007
If you haven't read any other books about being `alpha' or don't know of women(!), then this is a good book to begin your journey with, otherwise there is nothing new here.

The best thing about this book is how easy it is to read, short and punchy chapters. I particularly like the practical advice he gives about the body - control, breathing etc... The language is rousing and memorable; it makes it easy recall parts of the book when you need it.

The book starts at a tremendous pace and almost takes your breath away but then begins to ramble a bit.
Honestly a chapter called "What she says isn't what she means"(!) - hence my comment about not knowing 'of' women. The book could have been shorter.

If you are a young man this might not be the best book for you, the book makes too many assumptions and it is definitely for the grown and serious.


Good and bad, 28 Jun 2007
I found the language of this book to be quite over the top. I did not like his view on courting relationships. I laughed when I read that you should ask your friends to ask her's if she really likes you. You should be able to work it out for yourself. Most of his advice is with regard to matured relationships. I enjoyed his explanation of being on your own path and some over chapters on masculinity. The aurther' explanation on how to deal with your women and your emotions if she sleeps with another man or disrespects you publicly made me cringe.
I think that a lot of the praise for this book is relative to what is out there in other `self help' books on relationships. I think that one should read this book with a pinch of salt. The Book will make you think at least.

Unique Take on How to Relate, 08 Feb 2007
Amazing perspective, difficult to find. I finally read it (so many friends already had and recommended it). I found it highly useful. Does not pander to women like Venus and Mars - much more "down to earth" and male targeted - yet women seem to find it insightful too. You dont usually get this info from your buddies or the women in your life - but once you learn it they can all benefit from what you can share. Take your game to the next level. Very liberating read. I am surprised there are so few reviews - this is a hidden gem - straight forward, easy to absorb and unpretentious!!! Enjoy the book, your relationships and your life purpose man.

Ok as a general overview, but not really worth bothering with.., 10 Dec 2008
I bought this book as I have just found I am expecting twin sons, and coming from a very female dominated family, wanted to try and get my head round it a bit. On the plus side, it is quite a short book and easy and accessible to read. However, because it trys to cover boys' development from birth to age 16, it is rather generalised with the result that no subject is really covered in depth, although it tends more towards advice for adolescents.

In a nutshell, the advice is to give boys lots of love and attention in the early years and provide them with good male role models later - general common sense really. This is interspersed with some more specific random advice, such as how to wash a baby boy's penis and some possibly not quite such useful suggestions i.e. holding a "ceremony for honouring the start of adolesence and giving sexuality a positive start" Hmmmmm. I also found some of the advice rather irritatingly patronising, such as encouraging boys to cook (tip: "roll up their sleeves and wear an apron, handle knives with lots of care").

Ok as a general overview, but overall not a particularly satisfying or informative read, particularly if your sons are still very young. The book does touch on some interesting subjects, but I found that these were not explored in enough depth to be of much use.

Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!

Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.

What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.

I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.

I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.

A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.

yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?


Marvellous! Recommended., 21 Sep 2007
When it comes to "self study" guides for pilates, yoga, etc. it seems to me you've got to find the book or DVD that works best for you.

With yoga my favorite guide of all time is Richard Hittleman's 28 DAY YOGA EXERCISE. The simple, figure-against-black photographs and straight-forward descriptions are exactly what I needed to learn (decades ago now--my mother gave me my first copy!). For busy folks Hittleman provides easy-to-follow routines.

Having bought several pilates books and a DVD, none of which did it for me, I had stopped looking for a pilates book. Then I chanced to see PILATES FOR MEN. 10 minutes later I bought it.

Like Hittleman's approach it's the accessibility and ease-of-use that does it for me. The pencil drawings are excellent, with the required movements easy to see. The text is straight-forward. And the exercises are presented in the order you might use them in. This is just what I needed given the way I process "kinesthetic instructions on the page" and a fairly busy life.

The trick is to get a copy of this book in your hands and get a sense of how you might use it learning pilates or brushing up and how it might serve you in developing a plan to squeeze into your life.

Personally, I'd say this is a classic. But who knows and only time will tell.

Dr. Kirtland C Peterson

Great book, 05 Apr 2007
This is a well written and extremely well-illustrated manual for the beginner and intermediate Pilates aficionado. It would be great if it were spiral bound, but that is a minor qualm. Lyon does warn people with various back, knee and hip problems about certain exercises and very sensibly states that if an exercise causes pain to stop immediately, but if you are a true beginner please use this to accompany your work in a class. Personal instruction will help you get the breathing technique correct and ensure that you do not overdo it. After that, this book will be a great reference and source of encouragement.

Excellent!, 24 Jan 2007
Daniel Lyons' book is clearly written and includes all Pilates mat work from beginner to advanced. As such, if you are interested in doing Pilates at home (no equipment needed), then this book is all you need!

Lyons explains that Jospeh Pilates was a boxer, and that his early clients were boxers and wrestlers. Pilates was created for men, but through the fact that dancers have found it to be so good has become a women-dominated exercise system.

The boxer/wrestler connection is actually easy to see with excercises including wrestlers neck bridges, push ups, etc.

This book is also beautifully illustrated with line drawings of the author performing each movement. Clear, detailed and succint.

If you want to strengthen your core and change your entire body in a few weeks, get this book!

A Book for the Younger Man!, 20 Jan 2007
This book is packed with every conceivable excercise imaginable, and would be excellent for the young sports minded individual. It is really a fitness manual!

For someone of mature years, looking to nurse a toublesome back condition, it is far from perfect. Some of the exercises I rate as pretty dangerous to anyone with disc related problems, and while the book makes constant reference to avoiding any exercises which cause pain, it seems to lack any gentle introduction for such conditions.

On page 327 it finally deals with injured and weak joints, giving broad advise on the range of exercises which should be avoided.

I regret buying this book, and should have chosen the Lynne Robinson Manual which has a far more sympathetic approach

A Classic book, 06 Jan 2007
There are some books which just stand out from the crowd and this is one of them.

If you are tired of spending money on gym memberships and fitness equipment you never use then this is the book for you.

Like anything, getting into a routine is the most difficult part, but once you do, you will feel different within a week to two weeks and look different within a month. Routines are well structured and very well illustrated with sketch type drawings which I feel are far more clear than the usual photographs. Every aspect of practice is covered with advice/sections on how to work around injuries, to being a bit overweight, to just being plain stiff :)

If you have problems with some of beginers exercises please don't be put off, as the author says "do what you can" you don't have to do every single move in each section. I had trouble with some of the moves (stiff back) but did what I could and once I had gained a bit more flexibility went back to them. Just take it easy to start with and you will be surprised how quickly you loosen up.

Well worth five stars.





The Men Commandments, 09 Nov 2008
This book was in my local library and as I had not heard of either Christian O'Connell or the Men Commandments I was curious.

I found it to be well written and highly entertaining, and had to check and ensure that my wife was still at home as Christian's description of his wife was so true to the way that I imagine mine to be that I thought they must be related.

I did wonder how he managed to write the book and remain living and actually wrote to him and asked if he was a re-incarnation of his former self following it's publication. He replied that he now knew how Salmon Rushdie felt and that he had gone into hiding.

To me, it was a book that you could open at virtually any page and find something amusing or true to life. I have recommended it to many of my friends as, a must read. Christian has put down on paper the subtle differences between men and women in a light hearted manner that is so true to life.

To me it was thoroughly enjoyable and I can thoroughly recommend it.

David A

Compulsory Marraige Guidance Text, 09 Nov 2008
What a saviour you have proved to be to mankind. The book completely captures what it's like to live life as a married man in the twenty first century. Reading it has proved life changing as I'm no longer going round wondering why the women in my life are so batty and why they just don't get 'stuff' that I think (or don't think) and do (or don't do)!

I virtually pissed myself laughing out loud at some (actually most) of the observations in the book and the logging of the gene differences is the funniest and most true analysis of genetics to have been undertaken!! Surely a nobel prize of some sort will be winging its way to you before the end of the year.

I don't know how many copies of the book you've sold but I must be responsible for a significant proportion as I've recommended it to every mate, mate's wife and passing strangers that I've encountered.

You are a liberator of men and relationships and the book should be a standard text in all schools (life skill courses), Relate sessions and divorce pre-hearings. I can feel the divorce rate statistics tumbling over the coming months and years as the text takes hold in society - placed alongside the Oxford Concise Dictionary and the Bible on the book shelves of millions of homes.

Other reviews here say its all been said before in other books - who cares, I havent read them and this one's great!!

Nail on the head, 16 Oct 2008
This book is laugh out loud funny. I don't listen to Virgin Radio so this is my first encounter with the wit and wisdom of Christian O'Connell. His commentary on the differences between men and women is sharp, accurate and observant. From the very start of the book, I found myself nodding in agreement with his wry observations and spot-on remarks. I recognise so many traits of both myself and my wife in this book. It's nice to know that nearly all men are basically the same. The only disagreement I have with him is that he hates cats. (I'm a cat person.)

absolutely loved it.... I read my husbands copy!, 21 Sep 2008
I brought this for my husband and ended up reading it myself.I have never listened to the show either but my husband does so I brought it on the off chance for him for christmas.I started reading and saw so much of my husband that I couldnt wait till christmas to say " oh my god your like that". I think the style of writing is talkative, lively and a great book to pull out at dinner parties and keep in your downstairs loo as everyone will have an opinion.

JOE IS RIGHT!, 21 Sep 2008
Joe is right. This book is totally unfunny and been done many times in the past but a lot better. All tired cliched stuff like women good at picking clothes but wanting men to pay for them. Hilarious stuff, eh?

This is one to read if you want to be a superior man, 05 Jan 2009
This book is amazing I'm almost half way through moved and touched by it. It says so much about being a man but gives so much in the understating of what it is to be in the presence of a woman fully and totally without any misconceptions buts or ifs. David is truly a great author and lover of women and the human race and sprit. I truly believe that every man should read this book.

A great experience of the jouney of manhood, 09 Jan 2008
I found its extremely helpful in terms of the concept of magnifying oneself's core desire and deep purpose. I believe thats the core thing for a man to deal with whatever his work or women. some people may find the author's wording a bit exaggerated, and some techniques could be suspected, but i recon that techniques cannot be aligned with the core information the author trying to communicate. For example, a man who s really good at chatting up women might have a lot of techniques to use when he meets a woman he s attracted to, but in the deep level his success with women is not due to his techniques really great, its because the person he is being. Someone may copy his technique and it might work, but he cannot success all day long because the person he is being. So it is as the world at large. Whatever we do, focus on techniques maybe helpful for a moment, it wont improve the core being which is on the deeper level; but improve the core being will guarantee that u will create ur own style of techniques.

Some great chapters others not so much..., 26 Nov 2007
If you haven't read any other books about being `alpha' or don't know of women(!), then this is a good book to begin your journey with, otherwise there is nothing new here.

The best thing about this book is how easy it is to read, short and punchy chapters. I particularly like the practical advice he gives about the body - control, breathing etc... The language is rousing and memorable; it makes it easy recall parts of the book when you need it.

The book starts at a tremendous pace and almost takes your breath away but then begins to ramble a bit.
Honestly a chapter called "What she says isn't what she means"(!) - hence my comment about not knowing 'of' women. The book could have been shorter.

If you are a young man this might not be the best book for you, the book makes too many assumptions and it is definitely for the grown and serious.


Good and bad, 28 Jun 2007
I found the language of this book to be quite over the top. I did not like his view on courting relationships. I laughed when I read that you should ask your friends to ask her's if she really likes you. You should be able to work it out for yourself. Most of his advice is with regard to matured relationships. I enjoyed his explanation of being on your own path and some over chapters on masculinity. The aurther' explanation on how to deal with your women and your emotions if she sleeps with another man or disrespects you publicly made me cringe.
I think that a lot of the praise for this book is relative to what is out there in other `self help' books on relationships. I think that one should read this book with a pinch of salt. The Book will make you think at least.

Unique Take on How to Relate, 08 Feb 2007
Amazing perspective, difficult to find. I finally read it (so many friends already had and recommended it). I found it highly useful. Does not pander to women like Venus and Mars - much more "down to earth" and male targeted - yet women seem to find it insightful too. You dont usually get this info from your buddies or the women in your life - but once you learn it they can all benefit from what you can share. Take your game to the next level. Very liberating read. I am surprised there are so few reviews - this is a hidden gem - straight forward, easy to absorb and unpretentious!!! Enjoy the book, your relationships and your life purpose man.

Just what I needed..., 20 Mar 2007
Can only add to all the positive comments. After some negative experiences in my life I too was heading down a slippery road.

As you read this book, you will find yourself thinking how much something you just read applies to your own behaviour, or thinking about something which he then coincidentally mentions in the next paragraph - this confirmed for me I was reading the thoughts of someone who has been through it himself.

A more practical and helpful "come to your senses" guide than a similar book by Mike Fisher. Although his book also contains some helpful advice, there is much in there about groups and courses which feel a bit like sales patter to me.

Well and truly recommended.


A very useful book, 26 Feb 2007
Well worth the money if you are serious about getting a grip. No quick fix, just genuine, useful advice. Excellent

Fantastic helpful book, 04 Feb 2006
I ordered this book after realising that my anger was out of control and was very sceptical of the book. However after a few glasses of wine - the book - and several long conversations with myself I feel that it has helped me to understand why I get angry and what I can do to control it. I can't recommend it highly enough

See clearly, 10 Apr 2004
This is an excellent book.
Within the first third of the book you will get the message. And you will perhaps ask yourself why you hadn't seen things how they were but dont worry, this excellent book does it for you in that it walks you gently through the steps, and îs there on the shelf to refer back to.
Realising that my anger wasn't as simple as just 'frustration with the world and the idiots in it', but more to do with my own self esteem was a deep insight that has rapidly changed my anger levels. I know i am an ok person and i dont constantly need to prove it to everyone. Now its time to repair some of the damage i have caused in my marriage, with work colleagues and to ensure i dont pass on similar damage to my son.

I wish I'd read this years ago., 23 Sep 2003
It took 30 years for me to finally admit that my anger was out of hand.. I was wearing myself down with outbursts of fury and destructive anger and had broken many relationships in the process. I bought this book as the 'first stage' in my process of learning to control my temper..
In reading this book it is first important to appreciate you have a problem, and that the reading of it will not instantly change your life. Nor will it rid you of your temper. The underlying message throughout is that anger as an emotion is fine.. destructive and maladaptive anger is not. The book teaches you to spot signs of anger in you, and tries to get you to see where these signs have come from. Then it deals in the second half with learning to change the way you think to avoid these feelings coming in future. Dr Harbin has himself been a slave to his temper, and this makes you feel more akin to him. That he has something of value to tell you and you want to listen. I can say that having owned this book for 3 months, I have read it twice already and will read it a 3rd time before the end of the year. It's important to keep the points it brings up fresh in your mind, otherwise you will quickly slip back into your old ways again. I am already feeling the benefits, and hope to continue to do so for the rest of my life.
This is not a cure-all.. one read will not cure you of your temper and destructive behaviour, but hard work, and diligence, based on what this book is teaching you will lead to a higher quality of life for you and those around you.

Ok as a general overview, but not really worth bothering with.., 10 Dec 2008
I bought this book as I have just found I am expecting twin sons, and coming from a very female dominated family, wanted to try and get my head round it a bit. On the plus side, it is quite a short book and easy and accessible to read. However, because it trys to cover boys' development from birth to age 16, it is rather generalised with the result that no subject is really covered in depth, although it tends more towards advice for adolescents.

In a nutshell, the advice is to give boys lots of love and attention in the early years and provide them with good male role models later - general common sense really. This is interspersed with some more specific random advice, such as how to wash a baby boy's penis and some possibly not quite such useful suggestions i.e. holding a "ceremony for honouring the start of adolesence and giving sexuality a positive start" Hmmmmm. I also found some of the advice rather irritatingly patronising, such as encouraging boys to cook (tip: "roll up their sleeves and wear an apron, handle knives with lots of care").

Ok as a general overview, but overall not a particularly satisfying or informative read, particularly if your sons are still very young. The book does touch on some interesting subjects, but I found that these were not explored in enough depth to be of much use.

Made me want a daughter!, 08 Mar 2008
I felt completely depressed when pregnant with my second son when I read this book! Mr Biddulph basically tells you that, as a mother, you are important to your sons till they reach five, then you can basically forget it, as you will always be of secondary importance to them compared to their fathers and you should just get on with doing their laundry and cooking them the odd meal or two!
I'm sure he is right to a certain degree but, after speaking to many people after reading this, it is a huge generalisation to say that most men worship their fathers and take their mothers for granted.
Also, he could really have written one chapter instead of a whole book as the central message is repeated again and again: "Male children need strong male role models"
Very good, Steve, but this book didn't answer many of my questions or offer me practical advice as a mother of boys and left me wanting to have daughters!
Since tossing it in the recycling bin, I am now loving being mum to two boys and would not change them for anything!

Useful, 25 Feb 2008
I have read The Secrets of Happy Children by Biddulph, and found it extremely useful, so having a small boy on my hands decided me to investigate Raising Boys. I was not disappointed.

What I like most about Biddulph is that he is not preachy. He does not try to ram his message down your throat. He presents his case and is very careful to try and give a balanced view. Reading other reviews I note that some readers are critical of his belief that children are best raised at home until the age of three. I send my son to nursery school for one and a half days per week, and I feel that it is appropriate to do so. I have not changed my mind based on what Biddulph says. I feel that he has to tread a thin line between telling us things that he thinks we need to know and understanding that each child is unique and their special needs, whatever they may be should be catered for. On the whole he does this well.

I feel that he also deals compassionately with the issue of what to do if you are a single mother, and provides clear and pragmatic examples of how to look for and use positive male role models.

I think his down to earth approach, particularly his stressing the fact that parenting is not a perfect job, and even with the best will in the world will always be an ongoing learning process between you and your children is the most humane and accepting that I have read and I thoroughly recommend his work. The only reason this got four stars is because it is a little out of date and could do with a reissue with more statistics.

A parent/researcher, 14 Jan 2008
Overall, this book is a good contribution to the question of how to parent boys. However, he uses the appearance of research to endorse his personal view that boys are best cared for during the day by family members. In fact, the weight of evidence demonstrates that good quality childcare outside the family is positively beneficial for pre-school children of both genders.
I would challenge Steve Biddulph to produce a revised edition that incorporates real, direct evidence.

yes, but...., 14 Jan 2008
There are many good points in this book that were already mentioned by the other reviewers. I want to focus on the points that grated with me. First of all, the old out-dated 'research' that Biddulph cites that boys (and children in general according to his others books) are better off being raised at home. Negative research about day-care comes from the sixties when these institutions were little more than storage units for children (mind you, I only have very positive memories of the day-care in which I was raised in the sixties).
Newer research actually reveals that children who went early on into daycare are actually more popular and socially confident than their stay-at-home counterparts. This research comes from countries like Canada and Sweden where the majority of all children are raised in daycare and which extensively researched the well-being of their collective off-spring.
I am angry that yet another MALE child-expert who NEVER took off time his precious career to rear his children full-time adds to the guilt-inflicting bias against working mothers. I have seen so much suffering by new mothers who were made to believe that it was all their fault if they did not love their new role as a mother. In Britain today every fifth mother is diagnosed with post-natal depression - a mental health crisis of epidemic proportion. Yet, all of these mothers are told by their health-carers that it is their hormones (in other words their own fault) instead of seeing that the isolated way in which most of us live today puts so much pressure on the individual mother that depression is only a 'natural' outcome.
Isn't it time, Steve, that we care about boys, girls AND their mothers?


Marvellous! Recommended., 21 Sep 2007
When it comes to "self study" guides for pilates, yoga, etc. it seems to me you've got to find the book or DVD that works best for you.

With yoga my favorite guide of all time is Richard Hittleman's 28 DAY YOGA EXERCISE. The simple, figure-against-black photographs and straight-forward descriptions are exactly what I needed to learn (decades ago now--my mother gave me my first copy!). For busy folks Hittleman provides easy-to-follow routines.

Having bought several pilates books and a DVD, none of which did it for me, I had stopped looking for a pilates book. Then I chanced to see PILATES FOR MEN. 10 minutes later I bought it.

Like Hittleman's approach it's the accessibility and ease-of-use that does it for me. The pencil drawings are excellent, with the required movements easy to see. The text is straight-forward. And the exercises are presented in the order you might use them in. This is just what I needed given the way I process "kinesthetic instructions on the page" and a fairly busy life.

The trick is to get a copy of this book in your hands and get a sense of how you might use it learning pilates or brushing up and how it might serve you in developing a plan to squeeze into your life.

Personally, I'd say this is a classic. But who knows and only time will tell.

Dr. Kirtland C Peterson

Great book, 05 Apr 2007
This is a well written and extremely well-illustrated manual for the beginner and intermediate Pilates aficionado. It would be great if it were spiral bound, but that is a minor qualm. Lyon does warn people with various back, knee and hip problems about certain exercises and very sensibly states that if an exercise causes pain to stop immediately, but if you are a true beginner please use this to accompany your work in a class. Personal instruction will help you get the breathing technique correct and ensure that you do not overdo it. After that, this book will be a great reference and source of encouragement.

Excellent!, 24 Jan 2007
Daniel Lyons' book is clearly written and includes all Pilates mat work from beginner to advanced. As such, if you are interested in doing Pilates at home (no equipment needed), then this book is all you need!

Lyons explains that Jospeh Pilates was a boxer, and that his early clients were boxers and wrestlers. Pilates was created for men, but through the fact that dancers have found it to be so good has become a women-dominated exercise system.

The boxer/wrestler connection is actually easy to see with excercises including wrestlers neck bridges, push ups, etc.

This book is also beautifully illustrated with line drawings of the author performing each movement. Clear, detailed and succint.

If you want to strengthen your core and change your entire body in a few weeks, get this book!

A Book for the Younger Man!, 20 Jan 2007
This book is packed with every conceivable excercise imaginable, and would be excellent for the young sports minded individual. It is really a fitness manual!

For someone of mature years, looking to nurse a toublesome back condition, it is far from perfect. Some of the exercises I rate as pretty dangerous to anyone with disc related problems, and while the book makes constant reference to avoiding any exercises which cause pain, it seems to lack any gentle introduction for such conditions.

On page 327 it finally deals with injured and weak joints, giving broad advise on the range of exercises which should be avoided.

I regret buying this book, and should have chosen the Lynne Robinson Manual which has a far more sympathetic approach

A Classic book, 06 Jan 2007
There are some books which just stand out from the crowd and this is one of them.

If you are tired of spending money on gym memberships and fitness equipment you never use then this is the book for you.

Like anything, getting into a routine is the most difficult part, but once you do, you will feel different within a week to two weeks and look different within a month. Routines are well structured and very well illustrated with sketch type drawings which I feel are far more clear than the usual photographs. Every aspect of practice is covered with advice/sections on how to work around injuries, to being a bit overweight, to just being plain stiff :)

If you have problems with some of beginers exercises please don't be put off, as the author says "do what you can" you don't have to do every single move in each section. I had trouble with some of the moves (stiff back) but did what I could and once I had gained a bit more flexibility went back to them. Just take it easy to start with and you will be surprised how quickly you loosen up.

Well worth five stars.





The Men Commandments, 09 Nov 2008
This book was in my local library and as I had not heard of either Christian O'Connell or the Men Commandments I was curious.

I found it to be well written and highly entertaining, and had to check and ensure that my wife was still at home as Christian's description of his wife was so true to the way that I imagine mine to be that I thought they must be related.

I did wonder how he managed to write the book and remain living and actually wrote to him and asked if he was a re-incarnation of his former self following it's publication. He replied that he now knew how Salmon Rushdie felt and that he had gone into hiding.

To me, it was a book that you could open at virtually any page and find something amusing or true to life. I have recommended it to many of my friends as, a must read. Christian has put down on paper the subtle differences between men and women in a light hearted manner that is so true to life.

To me it was thoroughly enjoyable and I can thoroughly recommend it.

David A

Compulsory Marraige Guidance Text, 09 Nov 2008
What a saviour you have proved to be to mankind. The book completely captures what it's like to live life as a married man in the twenty first century. Reading it has proved life changing as I'm no longer going round wondering why the women in my life are so batty and why they just don't get 'stuff' that I think (or don't think) and do (or don't do)!

I virtually pissed myself laughing out loud at some (actually most) of the observations in the book and the logging of the gene differences is the funniest and most true analysis of genetics to have been undertaken!! Surely a nobel prize of some sort will be winging its way to you before the end of the year.

I don't know how many copies of the book you've sold but I must be responsible for a significant proportion as I've recommended it to every mate, mate's wife and passing strangers that I've encountered.

You are a liberator of men and relationships and the book should be a standard text in all schools (life skill courses), Relate sessions and divorce pre-hearings. I can feel the divorce rate statistics tumbling over the coming months and years as the text takes hold in society - placed alongside the Oxford Concise Dictionary and the Bible on the book shelves of millions of homes.

Other reviews here say its all been said before in other books - who cares, I havent read them and this one's great!!

Nail on the head, 16 Oct 2008
This book is laugh out loud funny. I don't listen to Virgin Radio so this is my first encounter with the wit and wisdom of Christian O'Connell. His commentary on the differences between men and women is sharp, accurate and observant. From the very start of the book, I found myself nodding in agreement with his wry observations and spot-on remarks. I recognise so many traits of both myself and my wife in this book. It's nice to know that nearly all men are basically the same. The only disagreement I have with him is that he hates cats. (I'm a cat person.)

absolutely loved it.... I read my husbands copy!, 21 Sep 2008
I brought this for my husband and ended up reading it myself.I have never listened to the show either but my husband does so I brought it on the off chance for him for christmas.I started reading and saw so much of my husband that I couldnt wait till christmas to say " oh my god your like that". I think the style of writing is talkative, lively and a great book to pull out at dinner parties and keep in your downstairs loo as everyone will have an opinion.

JOE IS RIGHT!, 21 Sep 2008
Joe is right. This book is totally unfunny and been done many times in the past but a lot better. All tired cliched stuff like women good at picking clothes but wanting men to pay for them. Hilarious stuff, eh?

This is one to read if you want to be a superior man, 05 Jan 2009
This book is amazing I'm almost half way through moved and touched by it. It says so much about being a man but gives so much in the understating of what it is to be in the presence of a woman fully and totally without any misconceptions buts or ifs. David is truly a great author and lover of women and the human race and sprit. I truly believe that every man should read this book.

A great experience of the jouney of manhood, 09 Jan 2008
I found its extremely helpful in terms of the concept of magnifying oneself's core desire and deep purpose. I believe thats the core thing for a man to deal with whatever his work or women. some people may find the author's wording a bit exaggerated, and some techniques could be suspected, but i recon that techniques cannot be aligned with the core information the author trying to communicate. For example, a man who s really good at chatting up women might have a lot of techniques to use when he meets a woman he s attracted to, but in the deep level his success with women is not due to his techniques really great, its because the person he is being. Someone may copy his technique and it might work, but he cannot success all day long because the person he is being. So it is as the world at large. Whatever we do, focus on techniques maybe helpful for a moment, it wont improve the core being which is on the deeper level; but improve the core being will guarantee that u will create ur own style of techniques.

Some great chapters others not so much..., 26 Nov 2007
If you haven't read any other books about being `alpha' or don't know of women(!), then this is a good book to begin your journey with, otherwise there is nothing new here.

The best thing about this book is how easy it is to read, short and punchy chapters. I particularly like the practical advice he gives about the body - control, breathing etc... The language is rousing and memorable; it makes it easy recall parts of the book when you need it.

The book starts at a tremendous pace and almost takes your breath away but then begins to ramble a bit.
Honestly a chapter called "What she says isn't what she means"(!) - hence my comment about not knowing 'of' women. The book could have been shorter.

If you are a young man this might not be the best book for you, the book makes too many assumptions and it is definitely for the grown and serious.


Good and bad, 28 Jun 2007
I found the language of this book to be quite over the top. I did not like his view on courting relationships. I laughed when I read that you should ask your friends to ask her's if she really likes you. You should be able to work it out for yourself. Most of his advice is with regard to matured relationships. I enjoyed his explanation of being on your own path and some over chapters on masculinity. The aurther' explanation on how to deal with your women and your emotions if she sleeps with another man or disrespects you publicly made me cringe.
I think that a lot of the praise for this book is relative to what is out there in other `self help' books on relationships. I think that one should read this book with a pinch of salt. The Book will make you think at least.

Unique Take on How to Relate, 08 Feb 2007
Amazing perspective, difficult to find. I finally read it (so many friends already had and recommended it). I found it highly useful. Does not pander to women like Venus and Mars - much more "down to earth" and male targeted - yet women seem to find it insightful too. You dont usually get this info from your buddies or the women in your life - but once you learn it they can all benefit from what you can share. Take your game to the next level. Very liberating read. I am surprised there are so few reviews - this is a hidden gem - straight forward, easy to absorb and unpretentious!!! Enjoy the book, your relationships and your life purpose man.

Just what I needed..., 20 Mar 2007
Can only add to all the positive comments. After some negative experiences in my life I too was heading down a slippery road.

As you read this book, you will find yourself thinking how much something you just read applies to your own behaviour, or thinking about something which he then coincidentally mentions in the next paragraph - this confirmed for me I was reading the thoughts of someone who has been through it himself.

A more practical and helpful "come to your senses" guide than a similar book by Mike Fisher. Although his book also contains some helpful advice, there is much in there about groups and courses which feel a bit like sales patter to me.

Well and truly recommended.


A very useful book, 26 Feb 2007
Well worth the money if you are serious about getting a grip. No quick fix, just genuine, useful advice. Excellent

Fantastic helpful book, 04 Feb 2006
I ordered this book after realising that my anger was out of control and was very sceptical of the book. However after a few glasses of wine - the book - and several long conversations with myself I feel that it has helped me to understand why I get angry and what I can do to control it. I can't recommend it highly enough

See clearly, 10 Apr 2004
This is an excellent book.
Within the first third of the book you will get the message. And you will perhaps ask yourself why you hadn't seen things how they were but dont worry, this excellent book does it for you in that it walks you gently through the steps, and îs there on the shelf to refer back to.
Realising that my anger wasn't as simple as just 'frustration with the world and the idiots in it', but more to do with my own self esteem was a deep insight that has rapidly changed my anger levels. I know i am an ok person and i dont constantly need to prove it to everyone. Now its time to repair some of the damage i have caused in my marriage, with work colleagues and to ensure i dont pass on similar damage to my son.

I wish I'd read this years ago., 23 Sep 2003
It took 30 years for me to finally admit that my anger was out of hand.. I was wearing myself down with outbursts of fury and destructive anger and had broken many relationships in the process. I bought this book as the 'first stage' in my process of learning to control my temper..
In reading this book it is first important to appreciate you have a problem, and that the reading of it will not instantly change your life. Nor will it rid you of your temper. The underlying message throughout is that anger as an emotion is fine.. destructive and maladaptive anger is not. The book teaches you to spot signs of anger in you, and tries to get you to see where these signs have come from. Then it deals in the second half with learning to change the way you think to avoid these feelings coming in future. Dr Harbin has himself been a slave to his temper, and this makes you feel more akin to him. That he has something of value to tell you and you want to listen. I can say that having owned this book for 3 months, I have read it twice already and will read it a 3rd time before the end of the year. It's important to keep the points it brings up fresh in your mind, otherwise you will quickly slip back into your old ways again. I am already feeling the benefits, and hope to continue to do so for the rest of my life.
This is not a cure-all.. one read will not cure you of your temper and destructive behaviour, but hard work, and diligence, based on what this book is teaching you will lead to a higher quality of life for you and those around you.

Not just for men!, 10 Oct 2008
This book could be entitled "Blokes - an owner's manual." It's a really enlightening book for women too. I'm a mother and wife and found it really insightful and inspiring. A great book to read if you have sons.

I was glad when it was over, 31 Jan 2006
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; I guess there is a literary equivalent too. If I hadn't bought this book, I would have given up a lot earlier. Sorry. It just couldn't take to the style of it somehow.
I was the first part time worker in my previous profession. I hug my Dad when I greet him. I am a trained massage practitioner,along with NLP and Counselling. I am also Daddy Daycare in our house, working part time to provide stability for our children.
I guess in some repects , I am very new age anyway. BUT this is where I would have to agree with some of the sentiment which I 'got' from reading the book.
Blokes still need to do bloke stuff. I don't mean getting drunk and pretending to enjoy Rugby ,Football, etc; I mean just forming and maintaining quality relationships with other men.
In some respects,my old fashioned Church caters to this need; in my opinion sometimes to collective detriment. It does however recognise the importance of same sex relationships;whilst accepting one cannot literally exist without the other.
Speaking about the book,to a lady who is more sensitive than me; I did describe a logical satisfaction behind my personal role in our household; but a certain unexpressed caveman style lack of fulfillment in terms of "I gotta go out and kill something". I mean that in terms of doing something practical,physical,real and measurable in contributing to our household. The caring thing is somehow less measurable and sometimes lacking in such obvious satisfaction.
Thought p