It's my bible !!, 14 Oct 2008
I bought this book months ago when i was having a 'down' day. It really cheered me up, made me feel like i wasn't the only one feeling like motherhood was a neverending chore. It is full of practical advice, i keep it by the bed and dip into it time and time again to read relevant chapters. Thanks netmums.

Excellent, informative, fun and full of useful advice!, 05 Jun 2008
I bought this book to try and recapture a bit of happiness and stress-less existence for myself before it's too late. With three children under four stress is my middle name. This is full of really useful suggestions, advice, anecdotes from other mums etc - strategies for dealing with badly behaved children, relationship troubles, work pressures, housework crises and losing yourself into the big mum hole. I really can't recommend this book enough for sensible, practical, down to earth advice. And it's really nice to know you're not the only mum who feels like she's not coping!

Honest writing about being a mum, 08 May 2008
This book is fantastic! It's describes what motherhood is really like - acknowledging that children are a great blessing, but that they can also try your patience and sometimes drive you to distraction! It's about how to cope - with everything from the children's bad behaviour, to organising your home, and (perhaps most importantly) some sound advice for when you get that sinking feeling. It's written by people who really understand what it's like to be a mother. And the quotes from the netmums.com website add that touch of realism, acknowledging the fact that you're not alone in how you feel. I can't recommend this book highly enough!

Reassuring, Inspiring, Encouraging, 10 Mar 2008
Great book offering advice, inspiration, ideas (together with annecdotes from other mums) for you to live as a happy mum. Not at all dictatorial. Has practical ideas and tips for making life easier, more organised. The overall tone is relax and enjoy your life with your kids - no-one's perfect!

No mum should be without it!, 20 Jan 2008
Such a brilliant, refreshing book. It is so reassuring to realise you are not alone and that your worries, fears and feelings are common. Includes fantastic tips on how best to look after yourself and not just your kids! Brilliant!!

This book reads as easily as a novel--quite a relief after reading the traditional and often humourless parenting guides. The reader of The Best Friends' Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood won't emerge with an encyclopaedic knowledge of nappy- changing techniques, but they will discover how it feels to be changing nappies all night and why on earth any sane person would choose to do it. This colourfully written and lively book is about being a mother. "Do you see one single book for us, the mothers?" asks the author. "Not fair counting those books that tell us how to eat well to provide healthy milk for our breastfeeding babies! I'm talking about a book that deals only with us and the stunning fact that our lives have changed forever with the arrival of motherhood. Don't bother looking any longer (since you are a new mum, you have probably already forgotten what you were looking for anyway)."

Vicki Iovine, who previously authored the hugely successful The Best Friend's Guide to Pregnancy, takes us through the problems, surprises and rewards that being a mother brings, as seen from her refreshingly honest and often hilarious perspective. From the "Top-Ten Biggest Shocks of Childbirth" (How fat your face looks in the delivery room videos and photos) through to the final section of the book, "Top-Ten Things New Mothers Don't Do"(New mothers don't like other people's children, especially around their precious angels), the author talks to you, as a Best Friend, about this most moving, unimaginable, frightening and blissful life experience.

There are some observational gems in here--"I can tell you if a woman has had a baby simply by inspecting her belly button. Go ahead and scoff! I know my navels and I can recognise one that has been stretched nearly flat, or worse, popped inside out, and then relaxed again...". It is this chatty, Best-Friend style that makes the information in the book much more digestible and far less scary than your average "new baby" book--"Projectile vomiting is another terrifying, but not usually dangerous, sick-baby trick. If you haven't seen this before, it will blow your mind". She talks about being in hospital, follows the journey home after delivery, assesses the damage to both your body and your sex life, deals with baby euphoria and blues, going back to work and it even sheds light on why on earth anyone would do all this again!

Witty, human, perceptive and comic, this book is guaranteed to make any new (or not-so- new) mum laugh, relax and reminisce about their own wonderful, special experiences; essential reading for every mother's bookshelf. --Alison Jardine

It's my bible !!, 14 Oct 2008
I bought this book months ago when i was having a 'down' day. It really cheered me up, made me feel like i wasn't the only one feeling like motherhood was a neverending chore. It is full of practical advice, i keep it by the bed and dip into it time and time again to read relevant chapters. Thanks netmums.

Excellent, informative, fun and full of useful advice!, 05 Jun 2008
I bought this book to try and recapture a bit of happiness and stress-less existence for myself before it's too late. With three children under four stress is my middle name. This is full of really useful suggestions, advice, anecdotes from other mums etc - strategies for dealing with badly behaved children, relationship troubles, work pressures, housework crises and losing yourself into the big mum hole. I really can't recommend this book enough for sensible, practical, down to earth advice. And it's really nice to know you're not the only mum who feels like she's not coping!

Honest writing about being a mum, 08 May 2008
This book is fantastic! It's describes what motherhood is really like - acknowledging that children are a great blessing, but that they can also try your patience and sometimes drive you to distraction! It's about how to cope - with everything from the children's bad behaviour, to organising your home, and (perhaps most importantly) some sound advice for when you get that sinking feeling. It's written by people who really understand what it's like to be a mother. And the quotes from the netmums.com website add that touch of realism, acknowledging the fact that you're not alone in how you feel. I can't recommend this book highly enough!

Reassuring, Inspiring, Encouraging, 10 Mar 2008
Great book offering advice, inspiration, ideas (together with annecdotes from other mums) for you to live as a happy mum. Not at all dictatorial. Has practical ideas and tips for making life easier, more organised. The overall tone is relax and enjoy your life with your kids - no-one's perfect!

No mum should be without it!, 20 Jan 2008
Such a brilliant, refreshing book. It is so reassuring to realise you are not alone and that your worries, fears and feelings are common. Includes fantastic tips on how best to look after yourself and not just your kids! Brilliant!!

The only book I've ever thrown in the bin, 28 Jun 2008
On reading the synopsis I thought this book had potential to be amusing, not so. Three quarters of the way through it I decided to throw it in the bin! If you decide to buy this book, please remember...this is only ONE womans view of motherhood, enjoy your own experience of it.

Like a best friend but less hassle!, 26 Sep 2007
This book is on our side: at the front is a top ten list of the biggest shocks of childbirth, and number one is: How nobody ever told you how much it REALLY hurts to have a baby. A lighthearted book that nevertheless gets to grips with baby reality, written by a mum, with extra insight from her group of Best Friends. Real comfort and advice, delivered in a humorous, friendly way.

This quote gives a flavour of the whole book:

"There are three types of new nothers.
1. The type who give birth and resume their lives with confidence, clear thinking and enthusiasm.
2. The type who give birth and wish that a fairy godmother would make the baby disappear and restore them to their former life; and
3. The rest of us.
Traditional wisdom (meaning "male") has long held that the first example is "normal" and what all new mothers should aspire to, and the second is classic postnatal depression, which is somewhat naughty and to be overcome or hidden at all cost, and that the third group doesn't exist.
Here's what the Best Friends and I think: the first group of new mother, the kind who breeze effortlessly through the transition from human to mother,are either incredibly lucky or incredibly unobservant. I mean, how can you experience a metamorphosis from personhood to motherhood without some ambivalence, apprehension or anxiety?"


Should be a required read!, 13 Aug 2007
This book - in the era of supernannies, supermums and everyone knowing *exactly* what to do with a baby - is an absolute must-read for anyone with a sense of humour and some grounding in reality. I completely loved the honesty and down-to-earth style of this book (other books in her series are also brilliant). No-one said having a baby was going to be easy but it's a whole lot easier with Vicki Iovine's advice. She never says what you *should* do and leaves plenty to instinct but always reassures that what you're doing isn't actually bad. And along the way she manages to make everything seem humorous which is quite an achievement in those early weeks... Evey one of her "best friends" has done something a little differently so there's something in here for everyone from the breast-feed-till-they're-five camp to the routine-from week-two camp. This is my baby shower gift for all my first-time-mum friends and is always well-received. (Personally I've never been a fan of parenting manuals and got away with reading none with my first child; this is less a manual and more a reassurance. Perhaps that's why I loved it so much.)

Sanity saver!, 17 Jan 2007
Brilliant read! I'd recommend it to all new mums.

I was at my wits end a few weeks after the birth of my baby. I'd had little sleep, breastfeeding was agony and my hormones and emotions were all over the place.

I bought this book and wished I'd read it earlier. I laughed out loud so many times. Such a lot of what it says is so true. It actually made me feel sane and 'normal' again. Motherhood is rewarding but can be difficult and this book tells it how it is.

My only criticism would be the fact that it is obviously written for an American audience and some of the chapters (on hospitals and doctors) should have been completely re-written for the UK (rather than just using margin notes to explain the differences).

This book should be standard issue for new mothers!, 15 Mar 2006
This warm, funny, intelligent book, is in my mind the reason that I've survived the first year of motherhood (particulary the first 12 weeks) with my sanity intact! I bought my copy through a tear soaked haze when I really needed words of wisdom and comfort and it came through with flying colours. My husband thought I'd lost the plot when he could see tears and fits of laughter as I sat reading this book. I wish I'd had it in the first weeks of being a new mum. I would recommend this book to all first-time mums. Vicki Iovine's sense of humour and honesty is inspiring and the book is packed full of useful and helpful information.

For me the one quote that changed my life as a new mum and my stress levels was ...don't stand if you can sit, don't sit if you can lay down and don't stay awake when you can sleep.... Or words to that effect. This sounds simple enough but it's very hard to do especially when you feel you have to be a supermum and a superwoman but in this book it's explained in such a way that you don't feel that it will make you less then perfect.

If it's not already obvious I simply adored this book and thoroughly recommend it. I've just purchased the next one in the series and I can't say that about any other baby book.

It's my bible !!, 14 Oct 2008
I bought this book months ago when i was having a 'down' day. It really cheered me up, made me feel like i wasn't the only one feeling like motherhood was a neverending chore. It is full of practical advice, i keep it by the bed and dip into it time and time again to read relevant chapters. Thanks netmums.

Excellent, informative, fun and full of useful advice!, 05 Jun 2008
I bought this book to try and recapture a bit of happiness and stress-less existence for myself before it's too late. With three children under four stress is my middle name. This is full of really useful suggestions, advice, anecdotes from other mums etc - strategies for dealing with badly behaved children, relationship troubles, work pressures, housework crises and losing yourself into the big mum hole. I really can't recommend this book enough for sensible, practical, down to earth advice. And it's really nice to know you're not the only mum who feels like she's not coping!

Honest writing about being a mum, 08 May 2008
This book is fantastic! It's describes what motherhood is really like - acknowledging that children are a great blessing, but that they can also try your patience and sometimes drive you to distraction! It's about how to cope - with everything from the children's bad behaviour, to organising your home, and (perhaps most importantly) some sound advice for when you get that sinking feeling. It's written by people who really understand what it's like to be a mother. And the quotes from the netmums.com website add that touch of realism, acknowledging the fact that you're not alone in how you feel. I can't recommend this book highly enough!

Reassuring, Inspiring, Encouraging, 10 Mar 2008
Great book offering advice, inspiration, ideas (together with annecdotes from other mums) for you to live as a happy mum. Not at all dictatorial. Has practical ideas and tips for making life easier, more organised. The overall tone is relax and enjoy your life with your kids - no-one's perfect!

No mum should be without it!, 20 Jan 2008
Such a brilliant, refreshing book. It is so reassuring to realise you are not alone and that your worries, fears and feelings are common. Includes fantastic tips on how best to look after yourself and not just your kids! Brilliant!!

The only book I've ever thrown in the bin, 28 Jun 2008
On reading the synopsis I thought this book had potential to be amusing, not so. Three quarters of the way through it I decided to throw it in the bin! If you decide to buy this book, please remember...this is only ONE womans view of motherhood, enjoy your own experience of it.

Like a best friend but less hassle!, 26 Sep 2007
This book is on our side: at the front is a top ten list of the biggest shocks of childbirth, and number one is: How nobody ever told you how much it REALLY hurts to have a baby. A lighthearted book that nevertheless gets to grips with baby reality, written by a mum, with extra insight from her group of Best Friends. Real comfort and advice, delivered in a humorous, friendly way.

This quote gives a flavour of the whole book:

"There are three types of new nothers.
1. The type who give birth and resume their lives with confidence, clear thinking and enthusiasm.
2. The type who give birth and wish that a fairy godmother would make the baby disappear and restore them to their former life; and
3. The rest of us.
Traditional wisdom (meaning "male") has long held that the first example is "normal" and what all new mothers should aspire to, and the second is classic postnatal depression, which is somewhat naughty and to be overcome or hidden at all cost, and that the third group doesn't exist.
Here's what the Best Friends and I think: the first group of new mother, the kind who breeze effortlessly through the transition from human to mother,are either incredibly lucky or incredibly unobservant. I mean, how can you experience a metamorphosis from personhood to motherhood without some ambivalence, apprehension or anxiety?"


Should be a required read!, 13 Aug 2007
This book - in the era of supernannies, supermums and everyone knowing *exactly* what to do with a baby - is an absolute must-read for anyone with a sense of humour and some grounding in reality. I completely loved the honesty and down-to-earth style of this book (other books in her series are also brilliant). No-one said having a baby was going to be easy but it's a whole lot easier with Vicki Iovine's advice. She never says what you *should* do and leaves plenty to instinct but always reassures that what you're doing isn't actually bad. And along the way she manages to make everything seem humorous which is quite an achievement in those early weeks... Evey one of her "best friends" has done something a little differently so there's something in here for everyone from the breast-feed-till-they're-five camp to the routine-from week-two camp. This is my baby shower gift for all my first-time-mum friends and is always well-received. (Personally I've never been a fan of parenting manuals and got away with reading none with my first child; this is less a manual and more a reassurance. Perhaps that's why I loved it so much.)

Sanity saver!, 17 Jan 2007
Brilliant read! I'd recommend it to all new mums.

I was at my wits end a few weeks after the birth of my baby. I'd had little sleep, breastfeeding was agony and my hormones and emotions were all over the place.

I bought this book and wished I'd read it earlier. I laughed out loud so many times. Such a lot of what it says is so true. It actually made me feel sane and 'normal' again. Motherhood is rewarding but can be difficult and this book tells it how it is.

My only criticism would be the fact that it is obviously written for an American audience and some of the chapters (on hospitals and doctors) should have been completely re-written for the UK (rather than just using margin notes to explain the differences).

This book should be standard issue for new mothers!, 15 Mar 2006
This warm, funny, intelligent book, is in my mind the reason that I've survived the first year of motherhood (particulary the first 12 weeks) with my sanity intact! I bought my copy through a tear soaked haze when I really needed words of wisdom and comfort and it came through with flying colours. My husband thought I'd lost the plot when he could see tears and fits of laughter as I sat reading this book. I wish I'd had it in the first weeks of being a new mum. I would recommend this book to all first-time mums. Vicki Iovine's sense of humour and honesty is inspiring and the book is packed full of useful and helpful information.

For me the one quote that changed my life as a new mum and my stress levels was ...don't stand if you can sit, don't sit if you can lay down and don't stay awake when you can sleep.... Or words to that effect. This sounds simple enough but it's very hard to do especially when you feel you have to be a supermum and a superwoman but in this book it's explained in such a way that you don't feel that it will make you less then perfect.

If it's not already obvious I simply adored this book and thoroughly recommend it. I've just purchased the next one in the series and I can't say that about any other baby book.

Every mother can relate to these stories, 28 Jun 2001
My husband bought me this book when it was first released and can relate to everything I have read. Last mothers day I received chicken soup for the mothers soul vol 2 and chicken soup for the expectent mother (as I am expecting my 3rd child). All 3 of these books have made me laugh, chuckle and cry but 1 thing that is guaranteed is once you start a story, 1 is never enough. An excellent read for any mother no matter on her age or the childrens age. I have even bought it for my mother !!!

a real happiness reminder, 18 Oct 2000
I am usually one for reading romance novels, but when I was given this book to read, I found that I couldn't put it down. The stories tht you read about other people's adventures and mishaps during their parenthood, made me realise that many wonderful things had also happened to me, from watching my daughter take her first step, to see her start her first day in full-time employment. This book will stay with me for the rest of my life along with my own great memories.

Get a tissue...., 09 Jun 1999
You can count on Chicken Soup to touch your heart. These stories are sure to get any Mom crying! If you are having a bad day with your children sit down and read a few stories - you'll feel much better about your own kids. I'd also recommned: Perfect Parenting by Elizabeth Pantley

THIS IS A GREAT GIFT, 04 May 1999
i DIDN'T READ THE BOOK BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT IT'S ONE THAT MOMS CAN READ AND ENJOY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

The most excellent book for the heart healing!, 30 Apr 1999
This is the most precious book for heart healing and understanding available. It makes you cry and laugh and understand the little things. Thanks!

It's my bible !!, 14 Oct 2008
I bought this book months ago when i was having a 'down' day. It really cheered me up, made me feel like i wasn't the only one feeling like motherhood was a neverending chore. It is full of practical advice, i keep it by the bed and dip into it time and time again to read relevant chapters. Thanks netmums.

Excellent, informative, fun and full of useful advice!, 05 Jun 2008
I bought this book to try and recapture a bit of happiness and stress-less existence for myself before it's too late. With three children under four stress is my middle name. This is full of really useful suggestions, advice, anecdotes from other mums etc - strategies for dealing with badly behaved children, relationship troubles, work pressures, housework crises and losing yourself into the big mum hole. I really can't recommend this book enough for sensible, practical, down to earth advice. And it's really nice to know you're not the only mum who feels like she's not coping!

Honest writing about being a mum, 08 May 2008
This book is fantastic! It's describes what motherhood is really like - acknowledging that children are a great blessing, but that they can also try your patience and sometimes drive you to distraction! It's about how to cope - with everything from the children's bad behaviour, to organising your home, and (perhaps most importantly) some sound advice for when you get that sinking feeling. It's written by people who really understand what it's like to be a mother. And the quotes from the netmums.com website add that touch of realism, acknowledging the fact that you're not alone in how you feel. I can't recommend this book highly enough!

Reassuring, Inspiring, Encouraging, 10 Mar 2008
Great book offering advice, inspiration, ideas (together with annecdotes from other mums) for you to live as a happy mum. Not at all dictatorial. Has practical ideas and tips for making life easier, more organised. The overall tone is relax and enjoy your life with your kids - no-one's perfect!

No mum should be without it!, 20 Jan 2008
Such a brilliant, refreshing book. It is so reassuring to realise you are not alone and that your worries, fears and feelings are common. Includes fantastic tips on how best to look after yourself and not just your kids! Brilliant!!

The only book I've ever thrown in the bin, 28 Jun 2008
On reading the synopsis I thought this book had potential to be amusing, not so. Three quarters of the way through it I decided to throw it in the bin! If you decide to buy this book, please remember...this is only ONE womans view of motherhood, enjoy your own experience of it.

Like a best friend but less hassle!, 26 Sep 2007
This book is on our side: at the front is a top ten list of the biggest shocks of childbirth, and number one is: How nobody ever told you how much it REALLY hurts to have a baby. A lighthearted book that nevertheless gets to grips with baby reality, written by a mum, with extra insight from her group of Best Friends. Real comfort and advice, delivered in a humorous, friendly way.

This quote gives a flavour of the whole book:

"There are three types of new nothers.
1. The type who give birth and resume their lives with confidence, clear thinking and enthusiasm.
2. The type who give birth and wish that a fairy godmother would make the baby disappear and restore them to their former life; and
3. The rest of us.
Traditional wisdom (meaning "male") has long held that the first example is "normal" and what all new mothers should aspire to, and the second is classic postnatal depression, which is somewhat naughty and to be overcome or hidden at all cost, and that the third group doesn't exist.
Here's what the Best Friends and I think: the first group of new mother, the kind who breeze effortlessly through the transition from human to mother,are either incredibly lucky or incredibly unobservant. I mean, how can you experience a metamorphosis from personhood to motherhood without some ambivalence, apprehension or anxiety?"


Should be a required read!, 13 Aug 2007
This book - in the era of supernannies, supermums and everyone knowing *exactly* what to do with a baby - is an absolute must-read for anyone with a sense of humour and some grounding in reality. I completely loved the honesty and down-to-earth style of this book (other books in her series are also brilliant). No-one said having a baby was going to be easy but it's a whole lot easier with Vicki Iovine's advice. She never says what you *should* do and leaves plenty to instinct but always reassures that what you're doing isn't actually bad. And along the way she manages to make everything seem humorous which is quite an achievement in those early weeks... Evey one of her "best friends" has done something a little differently so there's something in here for everyone from the breast-feed-till-they're-five camp to the routine-from week-two camp. This is my baby shower gift for all my first-time-mum friends and is always well-received. (Personally I've never been a fan of parenting manuals and got away with reading none with my first child; this is less a manual and more a reassurance. Perhaps that's why I loved it so much.)

Sanity saver!, 17 Jan 2007
Brilliant read! I'd recommend it to all new mums.

I was at my wits end a few weeks after the birth of my baby. I'd had little sleep, breastfeeding was agony and my hormones and emotions were all over the place.

I bought this book and wished I'd read it earlier. I laughed out loud so many times. Such a lot of what it says is so true. It actually made me feel sane and 'normal' again. Motherhood is rewarding but can be difficult and this book tells it how it is.

My only criticism would be the fact that it is obviously written for an American audience and some of the chapters (on hospitals and doctors) should have been completely re-written for the UK (rather than just using margin notes to explain the differences).

This book should be standard issue for new mothers!, 15 Mar 2006
This warm, funny, intelligent book, is in my mind the reason that I've survived the first year of motherhood (particulary the first 12 weeks) with my sanity intact! I bought my copy through a tear soaked haze when I really needed words of wisdom and comfort and it came through with flying colours. My husband thought I'd lost the plot when he could see tears and fits of laughter as I sat reading this book. I wish I'd had it in the first weeks of being a new mum. I would recommend this book to all first-time mums. Vicki Iovine's sense of humour and honesty is inspiring and the book is packed full of useful and helpful information.

For me the one quote that changed my life as a new mum and my stress levels was ...don't stand if you can sit, don't sit if you can lay down and don't stay awake when you can sleep.... Or words to that effect. This sounds simple enough but it's very hard to do especially when you feel you have to be a supermum and a superwoman but in this book it's explained in such a way that you don't feel that it will make you less then perfect.

If it's not already obvious I simply adored this book and thoroughly recommend it. I've just purchased the next one in the series and I can't say that about any other baby book.

Every mother can relate to these stories, 28 Jun 2001
My husband bought me this book when it was first released and can relate to everything I have read. Last mothers day I received chicken soup for the mothers soul vol 2 and chicken soup for the expectent mother (as I am expecting my 3rd child). All 3 of these books have made me laugh, chuckle and cry but 1 thing that is guaranteed is once you start a story, 1 is never enough. An excellent read for any mother no matter on her age or the childrens age. I have even bought it for my mother !!!

a real happiness reminder, 18 Oct 2000
I am usually one for reading romance novels, but when I was given this book to read, I found that I couldn't put it down. The stories tht you read about other people's adventures and mishaps during their parenthood, made me realise that many wonderful things had also happened to me, from watching my daughter take her first step, to see her start her first day in full-time employment. This book will stay with me for the rest of my life along with my own great memories.

Get a tissue...., 09 Jun 1999
You can count on Chicken Soup to touch your heart. These stories are sure to get any Mom crying! If you are having a bad day with your children sit down and read a few stories - you'll feel much better about your own kids. I'd also recommned: Perfect Parenting by Elizabeth Pantley

THIS IS A GREAT GIFT, 04 May 1999
i DIDN'T READ THE BOOK BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT IT'S ONE THAT MOMS CAN READ AND ENJOY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

The most excellent book for the heart healing!, 30 Apr 1999
This is the most precious book for heart healing and understanding available. It makes you cry and laugh and understand the little things. Thanks!

Made me feel less of a freak., 04 May 2008
I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever had problems with their mother or simply need to understand mother-daughter dynamics. This interplay does not only effect the direct protagonists but it also has a profound effect on our choice of friends, partners and work. Understanding this relationship means starting the road to real maturity.
I myself being a person who is in therapy because of a dominating mother, found this book helpful. Reading about other women having problems with their own mother helped me feel less lonely and less of a freak.
The book is divided in various sections amongst which the various types of dysfunctional mothers and the different types of dysfunctional daughter. One the result of the other in a series of cause and effect transmitted down through generations.
Reading it helped me understand more of what my therapists says and proud of having started a journey in not only discovering myself but also maybe of one day being able to accept my mother for who she is....a person with all its pros and cons, daughter and product of her generation and those of her forebears.


Very sound advice., 26 Feb 2008
I bought this for obvious reasons. Being estranged from you mother can be a very lonely, isolating thing. After all, how many people do you know who aren't close to their mother? Not in a "grrr, she drives me crazy... let the answering machine pick up & I'll deal with her later" kind of way, but in a "I haven't spoken to my mother in years and it's better that way" way?

Personally I don't know of anyone other than, well, me. And in that sense this book is a tremendous help. Reading the first-hand account of others in the same boat made me feel far less isolated and alone.

There were also profiles offered of the types of women who've fallen out with their mothers and then moved on (i.e. are you an overachiever? a troublemaker? a defector?). This part had me scoffing: "I'm not that easily pinned down," I huffed. Then I got to the chapter on defectors and my jaw hit the floor. I suppose if that's not a tribute to this book I don't know what is.

And while some fences can never be mended, the overall tone is a good one: reminding us that no mother ever starts out wanting to hurt her child. That maybe my mother was a victim of her circumstances as much as I've been a victim of mine, or you've been a victim of yours.

Forgiveness may not be an option, but acceptance & understanding should always be something to strive for.

A very informative Best Friend!, 27 Jul 2007
If you have been sending SOS signals to all your friends and family about your relationship with your mother then this is the book for you! Whether it is just an irritation or a completely Life-ruining distress, this book is an easy-to-read but very informative Best Friend!

No-one is trained to be a mother and so many women wind up with an emotional responsibility that they are simply not able to deal with and don't know why. Many are still overwhelmed with unfinished business from their own childhoods. This book does not make excuses for bad mothers but nor does it condemn, it really helps to find solutions. Even for those of us for whom there are no solutions, understanding helps to come to terms with it.

You may feel as I did at first that the book seems too simplistic in its approach but don't be deceived! As I persisted I found that I was wrong. It is extremely profound and exacting and Victoria Secunda has drawn on the expertise and experience of a number of brilliant specialists in their fields. Honestly, I think that this is one of the truly great, ground-breaking, self-help books, right up there with "Toxic Parents" by Dr Susan Forward and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Dr Robin Norwood. It is not only fascinating in its own right as a good read but could dispel those endless, sleepless, weepy nights and save you a fortune in counsellors!

"When you and your mother can't be friends." Victoria Secunda, 19 Jun 2007
After speaking with my mother on the phone, I was left feeling attacked, defeated, belittled, challenged and totally confused again! These feeling were familiar and predictable. I had ordered this book months ago. When it had arrived I had put it in a drawer and left it, part of my denial of the situation and subconscious willingness to continue this destructive pattern as to me it felt "normal".
This time I felt too sick and tired to go on, so I found the book and read it. What a huge relief to find I was not crazy after all! As a result I have gone on to read many more books on destructive relationship patterns in the family, and only wish that I had done so years ago. It would have saved me a lot of suffering and heartache. This book was my initial liberator. I now feel so much more peaceful and free of worry and upset that I am a different person for having been given the tools to face the truth.

Every Child Should Have A Copy!, 25 Oct 2002
This book is quite simply life-changing.

Forget weighty psycholgy tomes with their dry identification of signs and symptoms of labelled personality "disorders" of parents and children, read this and find out how these wretched behaviour patterns were set up in the first place.

Incredibly illuminating, compassionate and sensible, this is a must for any daughter who feels misunderstood, embittered, angered, or simply saddened by their relationship with their mother. Or their father, for that matter. Very, very helpful stuff.

It's my bible !!, 14 Oct 2008
I bought this book months ago when i was having a 'down' day. It really cheered me up, made me feel like i wasn't the only one feeling like motherhood was a neverending chore. It is full of practical advice, i keep it by the bed and dip into it time and time again to read relevant chapters. Thanks netmums.

Excellent, informative, fun and full of useful advice!, 05 Jun 2008
I bought this book to try and recapture a bit of happiness and stress-less existence for myself before it's too late. With three children under four stress is my middle name. This is full of really useful suggestions, advice, anecdotes from other mums etc - strategies for dealing with badly behaved children, relationship troubles, work pressures, housework crises and losing yourself into the big mum hole. I really can't recommend this book enough for sensible, practical, down to earth advice. And it's really nice to know you're not the only mum who feels like she's not coping!

Honest writing about being a mum, 08 May 2008
This book is fantastic! It's describes what motherhood is really like - acknowledging that children are a great blessing, but that they can also try your patience and sometimes drive you to distraction! It's about how to cope - with everything from the children's bad behaviour, to organising your home, and (perhaps most importantly) some sound advice for when you get that sinking feeling. It's written by people who really understand what it's like to be a mother. And the quotes from the netmums.com website add that touch of realism, acknowledging the fact that you're not alone in how you feel. I can't recommend this book highly enough!

Reassuring, Inspiring, Encouraging, 10 Mar 2008
Great book offering advice, inspiration, ideas (together with annecdotes from other mums) for you to live as a happy mum. Not at all dictatorial. Has practical ideas and tips for making life easier, more organised. The overall tone is relax and enjoy your life with your kids - no-one's perfect!

No mum should be without it!, 20 Jan 2008
Such a brilliant, refreshing book. It is so reassuring to realise you are not alone and that your worries, fears and feelings are common. Includes fantastic tips on how best to look after yourself and not just your kids! Brilliant!!

The only book I've ever thrown in the bin, 28 Jun 2008
On reading the synopsis I thought this book had potential to be amusing, not so. Three quarters of the way through it I decided to throw it in the bin! If you decide to buy this book, please remember...this is only ONE womans view of motherhood, enjoy your own experience of it.

Like a best friend but less hassle!, 26 Sep 2007
This book is on our side: at the front is a top ten list of the biggest shocks of childbirth, and number one is: How nobody ever told you how much it REALLY hurts to have a baby. A lighthearted book that nevertheless gets to grips with baby reality, written by a mum, with extra insight from her group of Best Friends. Real comfort and advice, delivered in a humorous, friendly way.

This quote gives a flavour of the whole book:

"There are three types of new nothers.
1. The type who give birth and resume their lives with confidence, clear thinking and enthusiasm.
2. The type who give birth and wish that a fairy godmother would make the baby disappear and restore them to their former life; and
3. The rest of us.
Traditional wisdom (meaning "male") has long held that the first example is "normal" and what all new mothers should aspire to, and the second is classic postnatal depression, which is somewhat naughty and to be overcome or hidden at all cost, and that the third group doesn't exist.
Here's what the Best Friends and I think: the first group of new mother, the kind who breeze effortlessly through the transition from human to mother,are either incredibly lucky or incredibly unobservant. I mean, how can you experience a metamorphosis from personhood to motherhood without some ambivalence, apprehension or anxiety?"


Should be a required read!, 13 Aug 2007
This book - in the era of supernannies, supermums and everyone knowing *exactly* what to do with a baby - is an absolute must-read for anyone with a sense of humour and some grounding in reality. I completely loved the honesty and down-to-earth style of this book (other books in her series are also brilliant). No-one said having a baby was going to be easy but it's a whole lot easier with Vicki Iovine's advice. She never says what you *should* do and leaves plenty to instinct but always reassures that what you're doing isn't actually bad. And along the way she manages to make everything seem humorous which is quite an achievement in those early weeks... Evey one of her "best friends" has done something a little differently so there's something in here for everyone from the breast-feed-till-they're-five camp to the routine-from week-two camp. This is my baby shower gift for all my first-time-mum friends and is always well-received. (Personally I've never been a fan of parenting manuals and got away with reading none with my first child; this is less a manual and more a reassurance. Perhaps that's why I loved it so much.)

Sanity saver!, 17 Jan 2007
Brilliant read! I'd recommend it to all new mums.

I was at my wits end a few weeks after the birth of my baby. I'd had little sleep, breastfeeding was agony and my hormones and emotions were all over the place.

I bought this book and wished I'd read it earlier. I laughed out loud so many times. Such a lot of what it says is so true. It actually made me feel sane and 'normal' again. Motherhood is rewarding but can be difficult and this book tells it how it is.

My only criticism would be the fact that it is obviously written for an American audience and some of the chapters (on hospitals and doctors) should have been completely re-written for the UK (rather than just using margin notes to explain the differences).

This book should be standard issue for new mothers!, 15 Mar 2006
This warm, funny, intelligent book, is in my mind the reason that I've survived the first year of motherhood (particulary the first 12 weeks) with my sanity intact! I bought my copy through a tear soaked haze when I really needed words of wisdom and comfort and it came through with flying colours. My husband thought I'd lost the plot when he could see tears and fits of laughter as I sat reading this book. I wish I'd had it in the first weeks of being a new mum. I would recommend this book to all first-time mums. Vicki Iovine's sense of humour and honesty is inspiring and the book is packed full of useful and helpful information.

For me the one quote that changed my life as a new mum and my stress levels was ...don't stand if you can sit, don't sit if you can lay down and don't stay awake when you can sleep.... Or words to that effect. This sounds simple enough but it's very hard to do especially when you feel you have to be a supermum and a superwoman but in this book it's explained in such a way that you don't feel that it will make you less then perfect.

If it's not already obvious I simply adored this book and thoroughly recommend it. I've just purchased the next one in the series and I can't say that about any other baby book.

Every mother can relate to these stories, 28 Jun 2001
My husband bought me this book when it was first released and can relate to everything I have read. Last mothers day I received chicken soup for the mothers soul vol 2 and chicken soup for the expectent mother (as I am expecting my 3rd child). All 3 of these books have made me laugh, chuckle and cry but 1 thing that is guaranteed is once you start a story, 1 is never enough. An excellent read for any mother no matter on her age or the childrens age. I have even bought it for my mother !!!

a real happiness reminder, 18 Oct 2000
I am usually one for reading romance novels, but when I was given this book to read, I found that I couldn't put it down. The stories tht you read about other people's adventures and mishaps during their parenthood, made me realise that many wonderful things had also happened to me, from watching my daughter take her first step, to see her start her first day in full-time employment. This book will stay with me for the rest of my life along with my own great memories.

Get a tissue...., 09 Jun 1999
You can count on Chicken Soup to touch your heart. These stories are sure to get any Mom crying! If you are having a bad day with your children sit down and read a few stories - you'll feel much better about your own kids. I'd also recommned: Perfect Parenting by Elizabeth Pantley

THIS IS A GREAT GIFT, 04 May 1999
i DIDN'T READ THE BOOK BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT IT'S ONE THAT MOMS CAN READ AND ENJOY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

The most excellent book for the heart healing!, 30 Apr 1999
This is the most precious book for heart healing and understanding available. It makes you cry and laugh and understand the little things. Thanks!

Made me feel less of a freak., 04 May 2008
I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever had problems with their mother or simply need to understand mother-daughter dynamics. This interplay does not only effect the direct protagonists but it also has a profound effect on our choice of friends, partners and work. Understanding this relationship means starting the road to real maturity.
I myself being a person who is in therapy because of a dominating mother, found this book helpful. Reading about other women having problems with their own mother helped me feel less lonely and less of a freak.
The book is divided in various sections amongst which the various types of dysfunctional mothers and the different types of dysfunctional daughter. One the result of the other in a series of cause and effect transmitted down through generations.
Reading it helped me understand more of what my therapists says and proud of having started a journey in not only discovering myself but also maybe of one day being able to accept my mother for who she is....a person with all its pros and cons, daughter and product of her generation and those of her forebears.


Very sound advice., 26 Feb 2008
I bought this for obvious reasons. Being estranged from you mother can be a very lonely, isolating thing. After all, how many people do you know who aren't close to their mother? Not in a "grrr, she drives me crazy... let the answering machine pick up & I'll deal with her later" kind of way, but in a "I haven't spoken to my mother in years and it's better that way" way?

Personally I don't know of anyone other than, well, me. And in that sense this book is a tremendous help. Reading the first-hand account of others in the same boat made me feel far less isolated and alone.

There were also profiles offered of the types of women who've fallen out with their mothers and then moved on (i.e. are you an overachiever? a troublemaker? a defector?). This part had me scoffing: "I'm not that easily pinned down," I huffed. Then I got to the chapter on defectors and my jaw hit the floor. I suppose if that's not a tribute to this book I don't know what is.

And while some fences can never be mended, the overall tone is a good one: reminding us that no mother ever starts out wanting to hurt her child. That maybe my mother was a victim of her circumstances as much as I've been a victim of mine, or you've been a victim of yours.

Forgiveness may not be an option, but acceptance & understanding should always be something to strive for.

A very informative Best Friend!, 27 Jul 2007
If you have been sending SOS signals to all your friends and family about your relationship with your mother then this is the book for you! Whether it is just an irritation or a completely Life-ruining distress, this book is an easy-to-read but very informative Best Friend!

No-one is trained to be a mother and so many women wind up with an emotional responsibility that they are simply not able to deal with and don't know why. Many are still overwhelmed with unfinished business from their own childhoods. This book does not make excuses for bad mothers but nor does it condemn, it really helps to find solutions. Even for those of us for whom there are no solutions, understanding helps to come to terms with it.

You may feel as I did at first that the book seems too simplistic in its approach but don't be deceived! As I persisted I found that I was wrong. It is extremely profound and exacting and Victoria Secunda has drawn on the expertise and experience of a number of brilliant specialists in their fields. Honestly, I think that this is one of the truly great, ground-breaking, self-help books, right up there with "Toxic Parents" by Dr Susan Forward and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Dr Robin Norwood. It is not only fascinating in its own right as a good read but could dispel those endless, sleepless, weepy nights and save you a fortune in counsellors!

"When you and your mother can't be friends." Victoria Secunda, 19 Jun 2007
After speaking with my mother on the phone, I was left feeling attacked, defeated, belittled, challenged and totally confused again! These feeling were familiar and predictable. I had ordered this book months ago. When it had arrived I had put it in a drawer and left it, part of my denial of the situation and subconscious willingness to continue this destructive pattern as to me it felt "normal".
This time I felt too sick and tired to go on, so I found the book and read it. What a huge relief to find I was not crazy after all! As a result I have gone on to read many more books on destructive relationship patterns in the family, and only wish that I had done so years ago. It would have saved me a lot of suffering and heartache. This book was my initial liberator. I now feel so much more peaceful and free of worry and upset that I am a different person for having been given the tools to face the truth.

Every Child Should Have A Copy!, 25 Oct 2002
This book is quite simply life-changing.

Forget weighty psycholgy tomes with their dry identification of signs and symptoms of labelled personality "disorders" of parents and children, read this and find out how these wretched behaviour patterns were set up in the first place.

Incredibly illuminating, compassionate and sensible, this is a must for any daughter who feels misunderstood, embittered, angered, or simply saddened by their relationship with their mother. Or their father, for that matter. Very, very helpful stuff.

you are not alone! All mothers feel the same!, 06 Sep 2008
I read this when my baby was 6 months old and WISH i had read it earlier. I thought I was the only person who felt like I was way out of my depth, but no, seems like that is completely normal. This book made me feel that I was sane, normal, and a good mother. If you are feeling even slightly inadequate, read this book!

Gives you the confidence to realise the dishes can wait., 21 Jul 2007
Your dh / dp comes home from work. "I've got nothing done all day!" you say. The house is a tip, and your dh / dp is clearly annoyed and thinks you've been sat on your bum watching Jeremy Kyle in your dressing gown and slippers.

This wonderful book will give you the words to explain what you've been doing; mothering. All day. Have you spent two hours walking up and down the street bouncing baby on your shoulder singing "baa baa black sheep" until baby falls asleep, only to wake the second you put him/her down so you can do the dishes? You've been doing the vital work of a mother in those two hours and should be proud of what you've achieved. You've been creating a secure environment for your little one and that's more important albeit less tangible than the dishes, or the washing.

Should be available on prescription to all new Mums, and should be required reading for all new Dads!

A book that gives Mothers words for what they do as mothers!, 15 Jun 2007
I bought this book only a few months after my son was born, and I appreciate it more with each passing month.

The author looks sympathetically at mothers, whether they are stay-at-home, work-at-home, or work-outside-the-home. This is a book that gives you words for what being a mother means in a concrete kind of way.

She helps you fill in the blanks when someone asks you what you've done all day, and you know that you've been insanely busy but can't actually put in words what you've done. You know that you ran two loads of wash, changed 5 diapers, and managed feeding your child, but can that REALLY fill up 9 hours?? Oh yes! What about the nurturing and comfort that you provided? How about the education that you provided as you emptied the washing machine over 10 minutes instead of 2 as you explain to your baby "this is a sock", etc.

The "tasks" of mothering don't have words or an accompanying value in Western society, but this book helps you name what you do and feel good about it!

All I can say: Buy it as fast as you can and enjoy!!

Got me through the hard times, 31 May 2007
If I could write a mandatory reading list for pregnant couples, this book would top it. Read it. If you are already a mother it will provide you with a boost that is almost spiritual, if you are going to be parents it will provide a valuable insight into the massive changes your lives are about to undergo.

Ladies, if your partner is reluctant to read another baby book, simply get him to read the chapter 'Snapping at my partner'....a peek into why we take out the frustrations of our day on them!

GOOD STUFF!, 20 Feb 2007
This book is a real self esteem boost for mothers everywhere. It is wonderfully reassuring and puts into words so many of the thoughts, feelings and emotions that go through mothers heads but that seem impossible to communicate/explain to others-we are not all mad!! I do agree with a previous reviewer that although the author is unbiased, you do sense her views and opinions on various subjects. For example, she clearly believes that leaving your baby to cry for any length of time, even as a last resort when nothing else will settle them to sleep, is cruel.
Obviously, in an ideal world no one would leave a baby crying, but speaking from personal experience (a mother of a very hungry baby who virtually cried all through the night for the first 3 months) sometimes leaving them for a while is the only thing you can do-it becomes a survival issue, it is not cruelty.

On the whole though the meassages are all positive and it is definately a book worth reading if you have had a baby.

It's my bible !!, 14 Oct 2008
I bought this book months ago when i was having a 'down' day. It really cheered me up, made me feel like i wasn't the only one feeling like motherhood was a neverending chore. It is full of practical advice, i keep it by the bed and dip into it time and time again to read relevant chapters. Thanks netmums.

Excellent, informative, fun and full of useful advice!, 05 Jun 2008
I bought this book to try and recapture a bit of happiness and stress-less existence for myself before it's too late. With three children under four stress is my middle name. This is full of really useful suggestions, advice, anecdotes from other mums etc - strategies for dealing with badly behaved children, relationship troubles, work pressures, housework crises and losing yourself into the big mum hole. I really can't recommend this book enough for sensible, practical, down to earth advice. And it's really nice to know you're not the only mum who feels like she's not coping!

Honest writing about being a mum, 08 May 2008
This book is fantastic! It's describes what motherhood is really like - acknowledging that children are a great blessing, but that they can also try your patience and sometimes drive you to distraction! It's about how to cope - with everything from the children's bad behaviour, to organising your home, and (perhaps most importantly) some sound advice for when you get that sinking feeling. It's written by people who really understand what it's like to be a mother. And the quotes from the netmums.com website add that touch of realism, acknowledging the fact that you're not alone in how you feel. I can't recommend this book highly enough!

Reassuring, Inspiring, Encouraging, 10 Mar 2008
Great book offering advice, inspiration, ideas (together with annecdotes from other mums) for you to live as a happy mum. Not at all dictatorial. Has practical ideas and tips for making life easier, more organised. The overall tone is relax and enjoy your life with your kids - no-one's perfect!

No mum should be without it!, 20 Jan 2008
Such a brilliant, refreshing book. It is so reassuring to realise you are not alone and that your worries, fears and feelings are common. Includes fantastic tips on how best to look after yourself and not just your kids! Brilliant!!

The only book I've ever thrown in the bin, 28 Jun 2008
On reading the synopsis I thought this book had potential to be amusing, not so. Three quarters of the way through it I decided to throw it in the bin! If you decide to buy this book, please remember...this is only ONE womans view of motherhood, enjoy your own experience of it.

Like a best friend but less hassle!, 26 Sep 2007
This book is on our side: at the front is a top ten list of the biggest shocks of childbirth, and number one is: How nobody ever told you how much it REALLY hurts to have a baby. A lighthearted book that nevertheless gets to grips with baby reality, written by a mum, with extra insight from her group of Best Friends. Real comfort and advice, delivered in a humorous, friendly way.

This quote gives a flavour of the whole book:

"There are three types of new nothers.
1. The type who give birth and resume their lives with confidence, clear thinking and enthusiasm.
2. The type who give birth and wish that a fairy godmother would make the baby disappear and restore them to their former life; and
3. The rest of us.
Traditional wisdom (meaning "male") has long held that the first example is "normal" and what all new mothers should aspire to, and the second is classic postnatal depression, which is somewhat naughty and to be overcome or hidden at all cost, and that the third group doesn't exist.
Here's what the Best Friends and I think: the first group of new mother, the kind who breeze effortlessly through the transition from human to mother,are either incredibly lucky or incredibly unobservant. I mean, how can you experience a metamorphosis from personhood to motherhood without some ambivalence, apprehension or anxiety?"


Should be a required read!, 13 Aug 2007
This book - in the era of supernannies, supermums and everyone knowing *exactly* what to do with a baby - is an absolute must-read for anyone with a sense of humour and some grounding in reality. I completely loved the honesty and down-to-earth style of this book (other books in her series are also brilliant). No-one said having a baby was going to be easy but it's a whole lot easier with Vicki Iovine's advice. She never says what you *should* do and leaves plenty to instinct but always reassures that what you're doing isn't actually bad. And along the way she manages to make everything seem humorous which is quite an achievement in those early weeks... Evey one of her "best friends" has done something a little differently so there's something in here for everyone from the breast-feed-till-they're-five camp to the routine-from week-two camp. This is my baby shower gift for all my first-time-mum friends and is always well-received. (Personally I've never been a fan of parenting manuals and got away with reading none with my first child; this is less a manual and more a reassurance. Perhaps that's why I loved it so much.)

Sanity saver!, 17 Jan 2007
Brilliant read! I'd recommend it to all new mums.

I was at my wits end a few weeks after the birth of my baby. I'd had little sleep, breastfeeding was agony and my hormones and emotions were all over the place.

I bought this book and wished I'd read it earlier. I laughed out loud so many times. Such a lot of what it says is so true. It actually made me feel sane and 'normal' again. Motherhood is rewarding but can be difficult and this book tells it how it is.

My only criticism would be the fact that it is obviously written for an American audience and some of the chapters (on hospitals and doctors) should have been completely re-written for the UK (rather than just using margin notes to explain the differences).

This book should be standard issue for new mothers!, 15 Mar 2006
This warm, funny, intelligent book, is in my mind the reason that I've survived the first year of motherhood (particulary the first 12 weeks) with my sanity intact! I bought my copy through a tear soaked haze when I really needed words of wisdom and comfort and it came through with flying colours. My husband thought I'd lost the plot when he could see tears and fits of laughter as I sat reading this book. I wish I'd had it in the first weeks of being a new mum. I would recommend this book to all first-time mums. Vicki Iovine's sense of humour and honesty is inspiring and the book is packed full of useful and helpful information.

For me the one quote that changed my life as a new mum and my stress levels was ...don't stand if you can sit, don't sit if you can lay down and don't stay awake when you can sleep.... Or words to that effect. This sounds simple enough but it's very hard to do especially when you feel you have to be a supermum and a superwoman but in this book it's explained in such a way that you don't feel that it will make you less then perfect.

If it's not already obvious I simply adored this book and thoroughly recommend it. I've just purchased the next one in the series and I can't say that about any other baby book.

Every mother can relate to these stories, 28 Jun 2001
My husband bought me this book when it was first released and can relate to everything I have read. Last mothers day I received chicken soup for the mothers soul vol 2 and chicken soup for the expectent mother (as I am expecting my 3rd child). All 3 of these books have made me laugh, chuckle and cry but 1 thing that is guaranteed is once you start a story, 1 is never enough. An excellent read for any mother no matter on her age or the childrens age. I have even bought it for my mother !!!

a real happiness reminder, 18 Oct 2000
I am usually one for reading romance novels, but when I was given this book to read, I found that I couldn't put it down. The stories tht you read about other people's adventures and mishaps during their parenthood, made me realise that many wonderful things had also happened to me, from watching my daughter take her first step, to see her start her first day in full-time employment. This book will stay with me for the rest of my life along with my own great memories.

Get a tissue...., 09 Jun 1999
You can count on Chicken Soup to touch your heart. These stories are sure to get any Mom crying! If you are having a bad day with your children sit down and read a few stories - you'll feel much better about your own kids. I'd also recommned: Perfect Parenting by Elizabeth Pantley

THIS IS A GREAT GIFT, 04 May 1999
i DIDN'T READ THE BOOK BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT IT'S ONE THAT MOMS CAN READ AND ENJOY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

The most excellent book for the heart healing!, 30 Apr 1999
This is the most precious book for heart healing and understanding available. It makes you cry and laugh and understand the little things. Thanks!

Made me feel less of a freak., 04 May 2008
I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever had problems with their mother or simply need to understand mother-daughter dynamics. This interplay does not only effect the direct protagonists but it also has a profound effect on our choice of friends, partners and work. Understanding this relationship means starting the road to real maturity.
I myself being a person who is in therapy because of a dominating mother, found this book helpful. Reading about other women having problems with their own mother helped me feel less lonely and less of a freak.
The book is divided in various sections amongst which the various types of dysfunctional mothers and the different types of dysfunctional daughter. One the result of the other in a series of cause and effect transmitted down through generations.
Reading it helped me understand more of what my therapists says and proud of having started a journey in not only discovering myself but also maybe of one day being able to accept my mother for who she is....a person with all its pros and cons, daughter and product of her generation and those of her forebears.


Very sound advice., 26 Feb 2008
I bought this for obvious reasons. Being estranged from you mother can be a very lonely, isolating thing. After all, how many people do you know who aren't close to their mother? Not in a "grrr, she drives me crazy... let the answering machine pick up & I'll deal with her later" kind of way, but in a "I haven't spoken to my mother in years and it's better that way" way?

Personally I don't know of anyone other than, well, me. And in that sense this book is a tremendous help. Reading the first-hand account of others in the same boat made me feel far less isolated and alone.

There were also profiles offered of the types of women who've fallen out with their mothers and then moved on (i.e. are you an overachiever? a troublemaker? a defector?). This part had me scoffing: "I'm not that easily pinned down," I huffed. Then I got to the chapter on defectors and my jaw hit the floor. I suppose if that's not a tribute to this book I don't know what is.

And while some fences can never be mended, the overall tone is a good one: reminding us that no mother ever starts out wanting to hurt her child. That maybe my mother was a victim of her circumstances as much as I've been a victim of mine, or you've been a victim of yours.

Forgiveness may not be an option, but acceptance & understanding should always be something to strive for.

A very informative Best Friend!, 27 Jul 2007
If you have been sending SOS signals to all your friends and family about your relationship with your mother then this is the book for you! Whether it is just an irritation or a completely Life-ruining distress, this book is an easy-to-read but very informative Best Friend!

No-one is trained to be a mother and so many women wind up with an emotional responsibility that they are simply not able to deal with and don't know why. Many are still overwhelmed with unfinished business from their own childhoods. This book does not make excuses for bad mothers but nor does it condemn, it really helps to find solutions. Even for those of us for whom there are no solutions, understanding helps to come to terms with it.

You may feel as I did at first that the book seems too simplistic in its approach but don't be deceived! As I persisted I found that I was wrong. It is extremely profound and exacting and Victoria Secunda has drawn on the expertise and experience of a number of brilliant specialists in their fields. Honestly, I think that this is one of the truly great, ground-breaking, self-help books, right up there with "Toxic Parents" by Dr Susan Forward and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Dr Robin Norwood. It is not only fascinating in its own right as a good read but could dispel those endless, sleepless, weepy nights and save you a fortune in counsellors!

"When you and your mother can't be friends." Victoria Secunda, 19 Jun 2007
After speaking with my mother on the phone, I was left feeling attacked, defeated, belittled, challenged and totally confused again! These feeling were familiar and predictable. I had ordered this book months ago. When it had arrived I had put it in a drawer and left it, part of my denial of the situation and subconscious willingness to continue this destructive pattern as to me it felt "normal".
This time I felt too sick and tired to go on, so I found the book and read it. What a huge relief to find I was not crazy after all! As a result I have gone on to read many more books on destructive relationship patterns in the family, and only wish that I had done so years ago. It would have saved me a lot of suffering and heartache. This book was my initial liberator. I now feel so much more peaceful and free of worry and upset that I am a different person for having been given the tools to face the truth.

Every Child Should Have A Copy!, 25 Oct 2002
This book is quite simply life-changing.

Forget weighty psycholgy tomes with their dry identification of signs and symptoms of labelled personality "disorders" of parents and children, read this and find out how these wretched behaviour patterns were set up in the first place.

Incredibly illuminating, compassionate and sensible, this is a must for any daughter who feels misunderstood, embittered, angered, or simply saddened by their relationship with their mother. Or their father, for that matter. Very, very helpful stuff.

you are not alone! All mothers feel the same!, 06 Sep 2008
I read this when my baby was 6 months old and WISH i had read it earlier. I thought I was the only person who felt like I was way out of my depth, but no, seems like that is completely normal. This book made me feel that I was sane, normal, and a good mother. If you are feeling even slightly inadequate, read this book!

Gives you the confidence to realise the dishes can wait., 21 Jul 2007
Your dh / dp comes home from work. "I've got nothing done all day!" you say. The house is a tip, and your dh / dp is clearly annoyed and thinks you've been sat on your bum watching Jeremy Kyle in your dressing gown and slippers.

This wonderful book will give you the words to explain what you've been doing; mothering. All day. Have you spent two hours walking up and down the street bouncing baby on your shoulder singing "baa baa black sheep" until baby falls asleep, only to wake the second you put him/her down so you can do the dishes? You've been doing the vital work of a mother in those two hours and should be proud of what you've achieved. You've been creating a secure environment for your little one and that's more important albeit less tangible than the dishes, or the washing.

Should be available on prescription to all new Mums, and should be required reading for all new Dads!

A book that gives Mothers words for what they do as mothers!, 15 Jun 2007
I bought this book only a few months after my son was born, and I appreciate it more with each passing month.

The author looks sympathetically at mothers, whether they are stay-at-home, work-at-home, or work-outside-the-home. This is a book that gives you words for what being a mother means in a concrete kind of way.

She helps you fill in the blanks when someone asks you what you've done all day, and you know that you've been insanely busy but can't actually put in words what you've done. You know that you ran two loads of wash, changed 5 diapers, and managed feeding your child, but can that REALLY fill up 9 hours?? Oh yes! What about the nurturing and comfort that you provided? How about the education that you provided as you emptied the washing machine over 10 minutes instead of 2 as you explain to your baby "this is a sock", etc.

The "tasks" of mothering don't have words or an accompanying value in Western society, but this book helps you name what you do and feel good about it!

All I can say: Buy it as fast as you can and enjoy!!

Got me through the hard times, 31 May 2007
If I could write a mandatory reading list for pregnant couples, this book would top it. Read it. If you are already a mother it will provide you with a boost that is almost spiritual, if you are going to be parents it will provide a valuable insight into the massive changes your lives are about to undergo.

Ladies, if your partner is reluctant to read another baby book, simply get him to read the chapter 'Snapping at my partner'....a peek into why we take out the frustrations of our day on them!

GOOD STUFF!, 20 Feb 2007
This book is a real self esteem boost for mothers everywhere. It is wonderfully reassuring and puts into words so many of the thoughts, feelings and emotions that go through mothers heads but that seem impossible to communicate/explain to others-we are not all mad!! I do agree with a previous reviewer that although the author is unbiased, you do sense her views and opinions on various subjects. For example, she clearly believes that leaving your baby to cry for any length of time, even as a last resort when nothing else will settle them to sleep, is cruel.
Obviously, in an ideal world no one would leave a baby crying, but speaking from personal experience (a mother of a very hungry baby who virtually cried all through the night for the first 3 months) sometimes leaving them for a while is the only thing you can do-it becomes a survival issue, it is not cruelty.

On the whole though the meassages are all positive and it is definately a book worth reading if you have had a baby.

Loved it, 20 May 2008
As a mummy of a a four year old and 16 month old twins (all boys) I found this book fantastic!

Funny, down to earth and even made we slightly teary at some points!! Really great sensible advice from someone who's been there done it and tells it like it is.

I loved it ....and will also be giving to my none multiple mum friends as think is really useful just as advice on dealing with more than one little monster!

It's my bible !!, 14 Oct 2008
I bought this book months ago when i was having a 'down' day. It really cheered me up, made me feel like i wasn't the only one feeling like motherhood was a neverending chore. It is full of practical advice, i keep it by the bed and dip into it time and time again to read relevant chapters. Thanks netmums.

Excellent, informative, fun and full of useful advice!, 05 Jun 2008
I bought this book to try and recapture a bit of happiness and stress-less existence for myself before it's too late. With three children under four stress is my middle name. This is full of really useful suggestions, advice, anecdotes from other mums etc - strategies for dealing with badly behaved children, relationship troubles, work pressures, housework crises and losing yourself into the big mum hole. I really can't recommend this book enough for sensible, practical, down to earth advice. And it's really nice to know you're not the only mum who feels like she's not coping!

Honest writing about being a mum, 08 May 2008
This book is fantastic! It's describes what motherhood is really like - acknowledging that children are a great blessing, but that they can also try your patience and sometimes drive you to distraction! It's about how to cope - with everything from the children's bad behaviour, to organising your home, and (perhaps most importantly) some sound advice for when you get that sinking feeling. It's written by people who really understand what it's like to be a mother. And the quotes from the netmums.com website add that touch of realism, acknowledging the fact that you're not alone in how you feel. I can't recommend this book highly enough!

Reassuring, Inspiring, Encouraging, 10 Mar 2008
Great book offering advice, inspiration, ideas (together with annecdotes from other mums) for you to live as a happy mum. Not at all dictatorial. Has practical ideas and tips for making life easier, more organised. The overall tone is relax and enjoy your life with your kids - no-one's perfect!

No mum should be without it!, 20 Jan 2008
Such a brilliant, refreshing book. It is so reassuring to realise you are not alone and that your worries, fears and feelings are common. Includes fantastic tips on how best to look after yourself and not just your kids! Brilliant!!

The only book I've ever thrown in the bin, 28 Jun 2008
On reading the synopsis I thought this book had potential to be amusing, not so. Three quarters of the way through it I decided to throw it in the bin! If you decide to buy this book, please remember...this is only ONE womans view of motherhood, enjoy your own experience of it.

Like a best friend but less hassle!, 26 Sep 2007
This book is on our side: at the front is a top ten list of the biggest shocks of childbirth, and number one is: How nobody ever told you how much it REALLY hurts to have a baby. A lighthearted book that nevertheless gets to grips with baby reality, written by a mum, with extra insight from her group of Best Friends. Real comfort and advice, delivered in a humorous, friendly way.

This quote gives a flavour of the whole book:

"There are three types of new nothers.
1. The type who give birth and resume their lives with confidence, clear thinking and enthusiasm.
2. The type who give birth and wish that a fairy godmother would make the baby disappear and restore them to their former life; and
3. The rest of us.
Traditional wisdom (meaning "male") has long held that the first example is "normal" and what all new mothers should aspire to, and the second is classic postnatal depression, which is somewhat naughty and to be overcome or hidden at all cost, and that the third group doesn't exist.
Here's what the Best Friends and I think: the first group of new mother, the kind who breeze effortlessly through the transition from human to mother,are either incredibly lucky or incredibly unobservant. I mean, how can you experience a metamorphosis from personhood to motherhood without some ambivalence, apprehension or anxiety?"


Should be a required read!, 13 Aug 2007
This book - in the era of supernannies, supermums and everyone knowing *exactly* what to do with a baby - is an absolute must-read for anyone with a sense of humour and some grounding in reality. I completely loved the honesty and down-to-earth style of this book (other books in her series are also brilliant). No-one said having a baby was going to be easy but it's a whole lot easier with Vicki Iovine's advice. She never says what you *should* do and leaves plenty to instinct but always reassures that what you're doing isn't actually bad. And along the way she manages to make everything seem humorous which is quite an achievement in those early weeks... Evey one of her "best friends" has done something a little differently so there's something in here for everyone from the breast-feed-till-they're-five camp to the routine-from week-two camp. This is my baby shower gift for all my first-time-mum friends and is always well-received. (Personally I've never been a fan of parenting manuals and got away with reading none with my first child; this is less a manual and more a reassurance. Perhaps that's why I loved it so much.)

Sanity saver!, 17 Jan 2007
Brilliant read! I'd recommend it to all new mums.

I was at my wits end a few weeks after the birth of my baby. I'd had little sleep, breastfeeding was agony and my hormones and emotions were all over the place.

I bought this book and wished I'd read it earlier. I laughed out loud so many times. Such a lot of what it says is so true. It actually made me feel sane and 'normal' again. Motherhood is rewarding but can be difficult and this book tells it how it is.

My only criticism would be the fact that it is obviously written for an American audience and some of the chapters (on hospitals and doctors) should have been completely re-written for the UK (rather than just using margin notes to explain the differences).

This book should be standard issue for new mothers!, 15 Mar 2006
This warm, funny, intelligent book, is in my mind the reason that I've survived the first year of motherhood (particulary the first 12 weeks) with my sanity intact! I bought my copy through a tear soaked haze when I really needed words of wisdom and comfort and it came through with flying colours. My husband thought I'd lost the plot when he could see tears and fits of laughter as I sat reading this book. I wish I'd had it in the first weeks of being a new mum. I would recommend this book to all first-time mums. Vicki Iovine's sense of humour and honesty is inspiring and the book is packed full of useful and helpful information.

For me the one quote that changed my life as a new mum and my stress levels was ...don't stand if you can sit, don't sit if you can lay down and don't stay awake when you can sleep.... Or words to that effect. This sounds simple enough but it's very hard to do especially when you feel you have to be a supermum and a superwoman but in this book it's explained in such a way that you don't feel that it will make you less then perfect.

If it's not already obvious I simply adored this book and thoroughly recommend it. I've just purchased the next one in the series and I can't say that about any other baby book.

Every mother can relate to these stories, 28 Jun 2001
My husband bought me this book when it was first released and can relate to everything I have read. Last mothers day I received chicken soup for the mothers soul vol 2 and chicken soup for the expectent mother (as I am expecting my 3rd child). All 3 of these books have made me laugh, chuckle and cry but 1 thing that is guaranteed is once you start a story, 1 is never enough. An excellent read for any mother no matter on her age or the childrens age. I have even bought it for my mother !!!

a real happiness reminder, 18 Oct 2000
I am usually one for reading romance novels, but when I was given this book to read, I found that I couldn't put it down. The stories tht you read about other people's adventures and mishaps during their parenthood, made me realise that many wonderful things had also happened to me, from watching my daughter take her first step, to see her start her first day in full-time employment. This book will stay with me for the rest of my life along with my own great memories.

Get a tissue...., 09 Jun 1999
You can count on Chicken Soup to touch your heart. These stories are sure to get any Mom crying! If you are having a bad day with your children sit down and read a few stories - you'll feel much better about your own kids. I'd also recommned: Perfect Parenting by Elizabeth Pantley

THIS IS A GREAT GIFT, 04 May 1999
i DIDN'T READ THE BOOK BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A MOTHER'S DAY GIFT IT'S ONE THAT MOMS CAN READ AND ENJOY OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

The most excellent book for the heart healing!, 30 Apr 1999
This is the most precious book for heart healing and understanding available. It makes you cry and laugh and understand the little things. Thanks!

Made me feel less of a freak., 04 May 2008
I would recommend this book to anyone who has ever had problems with their mother or simply need to understand mother-daughter dynamics. This interplay does not only effect the direct protagonists but it also has a profound effect on our choice of friends, partners and work. Understanding this relationship means starting the road to real maturity.
I myself being a person who is in therapy because of a dominating mother, found this book helpful. Reading about other women having problems with their own mother helped me feel less lonely and less of a freak.
The book is divided in various sections amongst which the various types of dysfunctional mothers and the different types of dysfunctional daughter. One the result of the other in a series of cause and effect transmitted down through generations.
Reading it helped me understand more of what my therapists says and proud of having started a journey in not only discovering myself but also maybe of one day being able to accept my mother for who she is....a person with all its pros and cons, daughter and product of her generation and those of her forebears.


Very sound advice., 26 Feb 2008
I bought this for obvious reasons. Being estranged from you mother can be a very lonely, isolating thing. After all, how many people do you know who aren't close to their mother? Not in a "grrr, she drives me crazy... let the answering machine pick up & I'll deal with her later" kind of way, but in a "I haven't spoken to my mother in years and it's better that way" way?

Personally I don't know of anyone other than, well, me. And in that sense this book is a tremendous help. Reading the first-hand account of others in the same boat made me feel far less isolated and alone.

There were also profiles offered of the types of women who've fallen out with their mothers and then moved on (i.e. are you an overachiever? a troublemaker? a defector?). This part had me scoffing: "I'm not that easily pinned down," I huffed. Then I got to the chapter on defectors and my jaw hit the floor. I suppose if that's not a tribute to this book I don't know what is.

And while some fences can never be mended, the overall tone is a good one: reminding us that no mother ever starts out wanting to hurt her child. That maybe my mother was a victim of her circumstances as much as I've been a victim of mine, or you've been a victim of yours.

Forgiveness may not be an option, but acceptance & understanding should always be something to strive for.

A very informative Best Friend!, 27 Jul 2007
If you have been sending SOS signals to all your friends and family about your relationship with your mother then this is the book for you! Whether it is just an irritation or a completely Life-ruining distress, this book is an easy-to-read but very informative Best Friend!

No-one is trained to be a mother and so many women wind up with an emotional responsibility that they are simply not able to deal with and don't know why. Many are still overwhelmed with unfinished business from their own childhoods. This book does not make excuses for bad mothers but nor does it condemn, it really helps to find solutions. Even for those of us for whom there are no solutions, understanding helps to come to terms with it.

You may feel as I did at first that the book seems too simplistic in its approach but don't be deceived! As I persisted I found that I was wrong. It is extremely profound and exacting and Victoria Secunda has drawn on the expertise and experience of a number of brilliant specialists in their fields. Honestly, I think that this is one of the truly great, ground-breaking, self-help books, right up there with "Toxic Parents" by Dr Susan Forward and "Women Who Love Too Much" by Dr Robin Norwood. It is not only fascinating in its own right as a good read but could dispel those endless, sleepless, weepy nights and save you a fortune in counsellors!

"When you and your mother can't be friends." Victoria Secunda, 19 Jun 2007
After speaking with my mother on the phone, I was left feeling attacked, defeated, belittled, challenged and totally confused again! These feeling were familiar and predictable. I had ordered this book months ago. When it had arrived I had put it in a drawer and left it, part of my denial of the situation and subconscious willingness to continue this destructive pattern as to me it felt "normal".
This time I felt too sick and tired to go on, so I found the book and read it. What a huge relief to find I was not crazy after all! As a result I have gone on to read many more books on destructive relationship patterns in the family, and only wish that I had done so years ago. It would have saved me a lot of suffering and heartache. This book was my initial liberator. I now feel so much more peaceful and free of worry and upset that I am a different person for having been given the tools to face the truth.

Every Child Should Have A Copy!, 25 Oct 2002
This book is quite simply life-changing.

Forget weighty psycholgy tomes with their dry identification of signs and symptoms of labelled personality "disorders" of parents and children, read this and find out how these wretched behaviour patterns were set up in the first place.

Incredibly illuminating, compassionate and sensible, this is a must for any daughter who feels misunderstood, embittered, angered, or simply saddened by their relationship with their mother. Or their father, for that matter. Very, very helpful stuff.

you are not alone! All mothers feel the same!, 06 Sep 2008
I read this when my baby was 6 months old and WISH i had read it earlier. I thought I was the only person who felt like I was way out of my depth, but no, seems like that is completely normal. This book made me feel that I was sane, normal, and a good mother. If you are feeling even slightly inadequate, read this book!

Gives you the confidence to realise the dishes can wait., 21 Jul 2007
Your dh / dp comes home from work. "I've got nothing done all day!" you say. The house is a tip, and your dh / dp is clearly annoyed and thinks you've been sat on your bum watching Jeremy Kyle in your dressing gown and slippers.

This wonderful book will give you the words to explain what you've been doing; mothering. All day. Have you spent two hours walking up and down the street bouncing baby on your shoulder singing "baa baa black sheep" until baby falls asleep, only to wake the second you put him/her down so you can do the dishes? You've been doing the vital work of a mother in those two hours and should be proud of what you've achieved. You've been creating a secure environment for your little one and that's more important albeit less tangible than the dishes, or the washing.

Should be available on prescription to all new Mums, and should be required reading for all new Dads!

A book that gives Mothers words for what they do as mothers!, 15 Jun 2007
I bought this book only a few months after my son was born, and I appreciate it more with each passing month.

The author looks sympathetically at mothers, whether they are stay-at-home, work-at-home, or work-outside-the-home. This is a book that gives you words for what being a mother means in a concrete kind of way.

She helps you fill in the blanks when someone asks you what you've done all day, and you know that you've been insanely busy but can't actually put in words what you've done. You know that you ran two loads of wash, changed 5 diapers, and managed feeding your child, but can that REALLY fill up 9 hours?? Oh yes! What about the nurturing and comfort that you provided? How about the education that you provided as you emptied the washing machine over 10 minutes instead of 2 as you explain to your baby "this is a sock", etc.

The "tasks" of mothering don't have words or an accompanying value in Western society, but this book helps you name what you do and feel good about it!

All I can say: Buy it as fast as you can and enjoy!!

Got me through the hard times, 31 May 2007
If I could write a mandatory reading list for pregnant couples, this book would top it. Read it. If you are already a mother it will provide you with a boost that is almost spiritual, if you are going to be parents it will provide a valuable insight into the massive changes your lives are about to undergo.

Ladies, if your partner is reluctant to read another baby book, simply get him to read the chapter 'Snapping at my partner'....a peek into why we take out the frustrations of our day on them!

GOOD STUFF!, 20 Feb 2007
This book is a real self esteem boost for mothers everywhere. It is wonderfully reassuring and puts into words so many of the thoughts, feelings and emotions that go through mothers heads but that seem impossible to communicate/explain to others-we are not all mad!! I do agree with a previous reviewer that although the author is unbiased, you do sense her views and opinions on various subjects. For example, she clearly believes that leaving your baby to cry for any length of time, even as a last resort when nothing else will settle them to sleep, is cruel.
Obviously, in an ideal world no one would leave a baby crying, but speaking from personal experience (a mother of a very hungry baby who virtually cried all through the night for the first 3 months) sometimes leaving them for a while is the only thing you can do-it becomes a survival issue, it is not cruelty.

On the whole though the meassages are all positive and it is definately a book worth reading if you have had a baby.

Loved it, 20 May 2008
As a mummy of a a four year old and 16 month old twins (all boys) I found this book fantastic!

Funny, down to earth and even made we slightly teary at some points!! Really great sensible advice from someone who's been there done it and tells it like it is.

I loved it ....and will also be giving to my none multiple mum friends as think is really useful just as advice on dealing with more than one little monster!

A humbling tale of a mother