Constitutional by Helen Simpson (reviewed by Kelvin M. Knight), 24 Aug 2008
I must be honest, if I had seen Constitutional in a bookshop or online, the cover would not have grabbed my attention. If not for the Bridport Prize, this collection of short stories would have flown under my radar. I am so glad it did not.

To begin with, there is no hint as to the nine stories' origins or pedigree. This air of anonymity is continued with no author acknowledgements whatsoever, only a fanfare of accolades from the big hitting national newspapers. So it was with trepidation I stepped inside Helen Simpson's world.

I need not have worried. The Door creaks opens (actually it was smashed open by burglars) and her unique style takes you by the hand; leads you on a scenic journey where the contrasting characters (predominately women) have all manner of adversities hurled at them and yet they survive. Reading the stories is like holding a mirror to yourself, to your daily bump and grind, and seeing how you survive.

The Year's Midnight is a tale of Christmas woe in a public swimming bath where a girl bawls out of control for her Daddy. Only Father Christmas gets anywhere close to consoling her; certainly not her mother, but a girl herself, who spurns help by wailing about her sad lot. Still, she has nicely-coloured hair. I particularly liked the view of the swimmers and the reasons for their health kicks: design flaws, anything and everything can go wrong with the human mind and body. This disease (hell all the diseases you can name) spread thematically into Every Third Thought where people start dying like buses: none for ages then all at once! I loved the rapier speech centred around the book group meeting (p26-7).

Early One Morning has Zoe battling a black dog of a marriage; on the plus side she has an amazing grasp of the English language, sent me scampering for cover in my dictionary. All she craves is not to be taken for granted. So begins the daily school crawl (read run), again. The conversations between the children on the back seat are wonderfully observed. At the end, her wish comes true in typical fairy tale fashion. Ahhh, simple things that make all mothers' hearts sigh: and house husband's, Helen, we are not for the chop yet... Unlike The Tree (one of two male viewpoint stories) where life and limb and the garden wall are pitted against a lovely old lady's touching slip into senility.

This is in stark contrast to, If I'm Spared, where we follow an unforgiving fleet street hack, Tom, and his forbearing (and irritating) wife, Barbara. The Good Life this story is not as the big C strikes, forcing Tom to change the habits of a life.

The Phlebotomist's Love Life will probably be the lead story when this collection launches in the U.S.A. as it deals with the controversial subject of the Gulf War. I liked the implication between getting blood out of a stone and love from a man. Poor old Patricia and her robotic three-minute cycles. Men are from Mars. No wonder all they want is sex, with no thought for the fruit of their loins becoming an apple of the earth in humanity's inhuman war after war.

Drop the morbidity, roll in the humour. The Green Room had me chuckling my Christmas stockings off as the spry elf Holly reigns (sorry) physical and mental bonhomie on the hapless Pamela. I loved the ending.

The ecliptic journey concludes with a lunchtime Constitutional around Hampstead Heath for a learned schoolteacher, fretting about her life while the overtones of O.C.D. play second fiddle to the weighty inevitability of genetic senility.

Some people may bemoan the diminutive size of this collection and complain about value for money. To them, I hear my wise old Nan (bless her soul) espouse, `Quality not quantity!'

Constitutional by Helen Simpson (reviewed by Kelvin M. Knight), 24 Aug 2008
I must be honest, if I had seen Constitutional in a bookshop or online, the cover would not have grabbed my attention. If not for the Bridport Prize, this collection of short stories would have flown under my radar. I am so glad it did not.

To begin with, there is no hint as to the nine stories' origins or pedigree. This air of anonymity is continued with no author acknowledgements whatsoever, only a fanfare of accolades from the big hitting national newspapers. So it was with trepidation I stepped inside Helen Simpson's world.

I need not have worried. The Door creaks opens (actually it was smashed open by burglars) and her unique style takes you by the hand; leads you on a scenic journey where the contrasting characters (predominately women) have all manner of adversities hurled at them and yet they survive. Reading the stories is like holding a mirror to yourself, to your daily bump and grind, and seeing how you survive.

The Year's Midnight is a tale of Christmas woe in a public swimming bath where a girl bawls out of control for her Daddy. Only Father Christmas gets anywhere close to consoling her; certainly not her mother, but a girl herself, who spurns help by wailing about her sad lot. Still, she has nicely-coloured hair. I particularly liked the view of the swimmers and the reasons for their health kicks: design flaws, anything and everything can go wrong with the human mind and body. This disease (hell all the diseases you can name) spread thematically into Every Third Thought where people start dying like buses: none for ages then all at once! I loved the rapier speech centred around the book group meeting (p26-7).

Early One Morning has Zoe battling a black dog of a marriage; on the plus side she has an amazing grasp of the English language, sent me scampering for cover in my dictionary. All she craves is not to be taken for granted. So begins the daily school crawl (read run), again. The conversations between the children on the back seat are wonderfully observed. At the end, her wish comes true in typical fairy tale fashion. Ahhh, simple things that make all mothers' hearts sigh: and house husband's, Helen, we are not for the chop yet... Unlike The Tree (one of two male viewpoint stories) where life and limb and the garden wall are pitted against a lovely old lady's touching slip into senility.

This is in stark contrast to, If I'm Spared, where we follow an unforgiving fleet street hack, Tom, and his forbearing (and irritating) wife, Barbara. The Good Life this story is not as the big C strikes, forcing Tom to change the habits of a life.

The Phlebotomist's Love Life will probably be the lead story when this collection launches in the U.S.A. as it deals with the controversial subject of the Gulf War. I liked the implication between getting blood out of a stone and love from a man. Poor old Patricia and her robotic three-minute cycles. Men are from Mars. No wonder all they want is sex, with no thought for the fruit of their loins becoming an apple of the earth in humanity's inhuman war after war.

Drop the morbidity, roll in the humour. The Green Room had me chuckling my Christmas stockings off as the spry elf Holly reigns (sorry) physical and mental bonhomie on the hapless Pamela. I loved the ending.

The ecliptic journey concludes with a lunchtime Constitutional around Hampstead Heath for a learned schoolteacher, fretting about her life while the overtones of O.C.D. play second fiddle to the weighty inevitability of genetic senility.

Some people may bemoan the diminutive size of this collection and complain about value for money. To them, I hear my wise old Nan (bless her soul) espouse, `Quality not quantity!'


Fun for many reasons, 01 May 2008
This is an interesting book on many levels. It's good on the origins of comics and superheroes, the reference section is surprisingly extensive with characters who will be new to most people and it is neither highbrow nor condescending.
Well worth a few quid.

Constitutional by Helen Simpson (reviewed by Kelvin M. Knight), 24 Aug 2008
I must be honest, if I had seen Constitutional in a bookshop or online, the cover would not have grabbed my attention. If not for the Bridport Prize, this collection of short stories would have flown under my radar. I am so glad it did not.

To begin with, there is no hint as to the nine stories' origins or pedigree. This air of anonymity is continued with no author acknowledgements whatsoever, only a fanfare of accolades from the big hitting national newspapers. So it was with trepidation I stepped inside Helen Simpson's world.

I need not have worried. The Door creaks opens (actually it was smashed open by burglars) and her unique style takes you by the hand; leads you on a scenic journey where the contrasting characters (predominately women) have all manner of adversities hurled at them and yet they survive. Reading the stories is like holding a mirror to yourself, to your daily bump and grind, and seeing how you survive.

The Year's Midnight is a tale of Christmas woe in a public swimming bath where a girl bawls out of control for her Daddy. Only Father Christmas gets anywhere close to consoling her; certainly not her mother, but a girl herself, who spurns help by wailing about her sad lot. Still, she has nicely-coloured hair. I particularly liked the view of the swimmers and the reasons for their health kicks: design flaws, anything and everything can go wrong with the human mind and body. This disease (hell all the diseases you can name) spread thematically into Every Third Thought where people start dying like buses: none for ages then all at once! I loved the rapier speech centred around the book group meeting (p26-7).

Early One Morning has Zoe battling a black dog of a marriage; on the plus side she has an amazing grasp of the English language, sent me scampering for cover in my dictionary. All she craves is not to be taken for granted. So begins the daily school crawl (read run), again. The conversations between the children on the back seat are wonderfully observed. At the end, her wish comes true in typical fairy tale fashion. Ahhh, simple things that make all mothers' hearts sigh: and house husband's, Helen, we are not for the chop yet... Unlike The Tree (one of two male viewpoint stories) where life and limb and the garden wall are pitted against a lovely old lady's touching slip into senility.

This is in stark contrast to, If I'm Spared, where we follow an unforgiving fleet street hack, Tom, and his forbearing (and irritating) wife, Barbara. The Good Life this story is not as the big C strikes, forcing Tom to change the habits of a life.

The Phlebotomist's Love Life will probably be the lead story when this collection launches in the U.S.A. as it deals with the controversial subject of the Gulf War. I liked the implication between getting blood out of a stone and love from a man. Poor old Patricia and her robotic three-minute cycles. Men are from Mars. No wonder all they want is sex, with no thought for the fruit of their loins becoming an apple of the earth in humanity's inhuman war after war.

Drop the morbidity, roll in the humour. The Green Room had me chuckling my Christmas stockings off as the spry elf Holly reigns (sorry) physical and mental bonhomie on the hapless Pamela. I loved the ending.

The ecliptic journey concludes with a lunchtime Constitutional around Hampstead Heath for a learned schoolteacher, fretting about her life while the overtones of O.C.D. play second fiddle to the weighty inevitability of genetic senility.

Some people may bemoan the diminutive size of this collection and complain about value for money. To them, I hear my wise old Nan (bless her soul) espouse, `Quality not quantity!'


Fun for many reasons, 01 May 2008
This is an interesting book on many levels. It's good on the origins of comics and superheroes, the reference section is surprisingly extensive with characters who will be new to most people and it is neither highbrow nor condescending.
Well worth a few quid.

Four Legs in a Bed & Other Stories (Getting a Life: Stories), 07 Mar 2006
Now republished in the USA by Vintage as 'Getting a Life: Stories', this is one of the best collection of humorous wildly sexy passionate stories I have ever read. Outrageously funny and wry, my train commute will just never be the same again!

Flashes of greatness, 13 Dec 2000
The first of Helen Simpson's 3 books of short stories (and, despite what it says above, now published by Vintage with a different cover) is a perceptive and amusing collections of short stories about love, marriage and motherhood. Though it has some of the uneveness which comes with being a first book, it is well worth reading (especially for the Greek-style play about giving birth, which features 2 choruses of midwives). Anyone who enjoys this book should also rush out and get hold of some of Lorrie Moore's short fiction.

Hey Yeah Right Get a Life, Helen Simpson's third collection of short stories, is about the hectic day-to-day whirlpool of women's lives--women who want to improve their lot, women who yearn to "get a life" better than their own. When she writes about child care it is with a knowing honesty about the accompanying sacrifices and tribulations--from the highly efficient businesswoman who "had a beautiful house and she was never in it. She knew what the children were doing at every hour of the day and she wasn't there", to the stay-at-home wife who "would stand and wait for herself to grow still and the image was one of an ancient vase, crackle-glazed, still in one piece but finely crazed all over its surface". Simpson is superb at conveying the intense frustration and yet maddening love that children inspire.

Each story complements the others, even the rather macabre "Millennium Blues", as Simpson's characters bustle around, meaning well, and occasionally reappearing (Dorrie in the title story also features in "Hurrah for the Hols"). She doesn't waste a word and her ear for dialogue is acute--her description of a female banker's interpretation of a corporate Burns night in "Burns and the Bankers", for example, is both excruciating and hilarious--and she manages to blend both humour and poetry into the scurrying days of her characters.

In some ways, many of the stories feel more like a face-pressed-against-the-window peer into other people's experiences rather than finite stories and the reader longs to learn more about the characters and discover how things worked out. Hey Yeah Right Get a Life is a wonderfully written and involving collection of stories that will have a high-recognition factor for many readers. --Christina McLoughlin

Constitutional by Helen Simpson (reviewed by Kelvin M. Knight), 24 Aug 2008
I must be honest, if I had seen Constitutional in a bookshop or online, the cover would not have grabbed my attention. If not for the Bridport Prize, this collection of short stories would have flown under my radar. I am so glad it did not.

To begin with, there is no hint as to the nine stories' origins or pedigree. This air of anonymity is continued with no author acknowledgements whatsoever, only a fanfare of accolades from the big hitting national newspapers. So it was with trepidation I stepped inside Helen Simpson's world.

I need not have worried. The Door creaks opens (actually it was smashed open by burglars) and her unique style takes you by the hand; leads you on a scenic journey where the contrasting characters (predominately women) have all manner of adversities hurled at them and yet they survive. Reading the stories is like holding a mirror to yourself, to your daily bump and grind, and seeing how you survive.

The Year's Midnight is a tale of Christmas woe in a public swimming bath where a girl bawls out of control for her Daddy. Only Father Christmas gets anywhere close to consoling her; certainly not her mother, but a girl herself, who spurns help by wailing about her sad lot. Still, she has nicely-coloured hair. I particularly liked the view of the swimmers and the reasons for their health kicks: design flaws, anything and everything can go wrong with the human mind and body. This disease (hell all the diseases you can name) spread thematically into Every Third Thought where people start dying like buses: none for ages then all at once! I loved the rapier speech centred around the book group meeting (p26-7).

Early One Morning has Zoe battling a black dog of a marriage; on the plus side she has an amazing grasp of the English language, sent me scampering for cover in my dictionary. All she craves is not to be taken for granted. So begins the daily school crawl (read run), again. The conversations between the children on the back seat are wonderfully observed. At the end, her wish comes true in typical fairy tale fashion. Ahhh, simple things that make all mothers' hearts sigh: and house husband's, Helen, we are not for the chop yet... Unlike The Tree (one of two male viewpoint stories) where life and limb and the garden wall are pitted against a lovely old lady's touching slip into senility.

This is in stark contrast to, If I'm Spared, where we follow an unforgiving fleet street hack, Tom, and his forbearing (and irritating) wife, Barbara. The Good Life this story is not as the big C strikes, forcing Tom to change the habits of a life.

The Phlebotomist's Love Life will probably be the lead story when this collection launches in the U.S.A. as it deals with the controversial subject of the Gulf War. I liked the implication between getting blood out of a stone and love from a man. Poor old Patricia and her robotic three-minute cycles. Men are from Mars. No wonder all they want is sex, with no thought for the fruit of their loins becoming an apple of the earth in humanity's inhuman war after war.

Drop the morbidity, roll in the humour. The Green Room had me chuckling my Christmas stockings off as the spry elf Holly reigns (sorry) physical and mental bonhomie on the hapless Pamela. I loved the ending.

The ecliptic journey concludes with a lunchtime Constitutional around Hampstead Heath for a learned schoolteacher, fretting about her life while the overtones of O.C.D. play second fiddle to the weighty inevitability of genetic senility.

Some people may bemoan the diminutive size of this collection and complain about value for money. To them, I hear my wise old Nan (bless her soul) espouse, `Quality not quantity!'


Fun for many reasons, 01 May 2008
This is an interesting book on many levels. It's good on the origins of comics and superheroes, the reference section is surprisingly extensive with characters who will be new to most people and it is neither highbrow nor condescending.
Well worth a few quid.

Four Legs in a Bed & Other Stories (Getting a Life: Stories), 07 Mar 2006
Now republished in the USA by Vintage as 'Getting a Life: Stories', this is one of the best collection of humorous wildly sexy passionate stories I have ever read. Outrageously funny and wry, my train commute will just never be the same again!

Flashes of greatness, 13 Dec 2000
The first of Helen Simpson's 3 books of short stories (and, despite what it says above, now published by Vintage with a different cover) is a perceptive and amusing collections of short stories about love, marriage and motherhood. Though it has some of the uneveness which comes with being a first book, it is well worth reading (especially for the Greek-style play about giving birth, which features 2 choruses of midwives). Anyone who enjoys this book should also rush out and get hold of some of Lorrie Moore's short fiction.

domestic dullness, 23 Apr 2008
There is little doubt that Helen Simpson is indeed a very good writer but her subject matter - domestic life, women being stuck at home with children, giving up their careers, unsupportive husbands is so moany and whingey it left me thoroughly infuriated! Essentially the book is the same story told about eight times!

Therapy, 29 Apr 2006
These stories are worth reading for their literary merit alone -even if you are not interested in the subject matter. This is motherhood, or rather, the choices facing women about whether or not to combine motherhood and work. For some of her examples, it's essential and for others, it's a terrifying thought. But Helen's invention new verbs like "satined" against his skin is gorgeous and original.

Instead of railing against the burden of parenthood, Helen appears to voice her feelings through her fictional characters. It must have been thoroughly therapeutic to do so. Husbands and wives who are trying to 'have it all' or struggle with the demands of parenthood and coupledom will relate to these stories.

Yeah, itýs well written, but surely thereýs more to life, 20 Jul 2005
These short stories are extremely well written and there's a luscious, unrushed feeling about them, so often missing in short stories, but the subject matter is (for lack of a better word) depressing.

I'm all for realism, especially when it's this well written, but in this case, there's just too much focus on the downside / darker side of life which ended up getting in the way of my enjoyment.

Definitely worth reading for it's literary value, but in my case, scored extremely low in terms of entertainment value. Maybe it's a case of 'frame of mind', but don't say you hadn't been warned...!

Funny, sad-the perils of modern motherhood, 05 Apr 2001
I bought, I read, I laughed, I cried, I recognised me, my friends and foes. Helen Simpson writes like an exocet missile to the heart of modern, middle class motherhood. Everywhere is compromise,angst,love and sadness. Neeedless to say, having read this book I bought four copies and distributed them around my friends!

WOW!!, 28 Jan 2001
I recognised myself,friends and family in these stories...accutely painful, touching, and truly funny. All women should read this.."Its not just you!"

Constitutional by Helen Simpson (reviewed by Kelvin M. Knight), 24 Aug 2008
I must be honest, if I had seen Constitutional in a bookshop or online, the cover would not have grabbed my attention. If not for the Bridport Prize, this collection of short stories would have flown under my radar. I am so glad it did not.

To begin with, there is no hint as to the nine stories' origins or pedigree. This air of anonymity is continued with no author acknowledgements whatsoever, only a fanfare of accolades from the big hitting national newspapers. So it was with trepidation I stepped inside Helen Simpson's world.

I need not have worried. The Door creaks opens (actually it was smashed open by burglars) and her unique style takes you by the hand; leads you on a scenic journey where the contrasting characters (predominately women) have all manner of adversities hurled at them and yet they survive. Reading the stories is like holding a mirror to yourself, to your daily bump and grind, and seeing how you survive.

The Year's Midnight is a tale of Christmas woe in a public swimming bath where a girl bawls out of control for her Daddy. Only Father Christmas gets anywhere close to consoling her; certainly not her mother, but a girl herself, who spurns help by wailing about her sad lot. Still, she has nicely-coloured hair. I particularly liked the view of the swimmers and the reasons for their health kicks: design flaws, anything and everything can go wrong with the human mind and body. This disease (hell all the diseases you can name) spread thematically into Every Third Thought where people start dying like buses: none for ages then all at once! I loved the rapier speech centred around the book group meeting (p26-7).

Early One Morning has Zoe battling a black dog of a marriage; on the plus side she has an amazing grasp of the English language, sent me scampering for cover in my dictionary. All she craves is not to be taken for granted. So begins the daily school crawl (read run), again. The conversations between the children on the back seat are wonderfully observed. At the end, her wish comes true in typical fairy tale fashion. Ahhh, simple things that make all mothers' hearts sigh: and house husband's, Helen, we are not for the chop yet... Unlike The Tree (one of two male viewpoint stories) where life and limb and the garden wall are pitted against a lovely old lady's touching slip into senility.

This is in stark contrast to, If I'm Spared, where we follow an unforgiving fleet street hack, Tom, and his forbearing (and irritating) wife, Barbara. The Good Life this story is not as the big C strikes, forcing Tom to change the habits of a life.

The Phlebotomist's Love Life will probably be the lead story when this collection launches in the U.S.A. as it deals with the controversial subject of the Gulf War. I liked the implication between getting blood out of a stone and love from a man. Poor old Patricia and her robotic three-minute cycles. Men are from Mars. No wonder all they want is sex, with no thought for the fruit of their loins becoming an apple of the earth in humanity's inhuman war after war.

Drop the morbidity, roll in the humour. The Green Room had me chuckling my Christmas stockings off as the spry elf Holly reigns (sorry) physical and mental bonhomie on the hapless Pamela. I loved the ending.

The ecliptic journey concludes with a lunchtime Constitutional around Hampstead Heath for a learned schoolteacher, fretting about her life while the overtones of O.C.D. play second fiddle to the weighty inevitability of genetic senility.

Some people may bemoan the diminutive size of this collection and complain about value for money. To them, I hear my wise old Nan (bless her soul) espouse, `Quality not quantity!'


Fun for many reasons, 01 May 2008
This is an interesting book on many levels. It's good on the origins of comics and superheroes, the reference section is surprisingly extensive with characters who will be new to most people and it is neither highbrow nor condescending.
Well worth a few quid.

Four Legs in a Bed & Other Stories (Getting a Life: Stories), 07 Mar 2006
Now republished in the USA by Vintage as 'Getting a Life: Stories', this is one of the best collection of humorous wildly sexy passionate stories I have ever read. Outrageously funny and wry, my train commute will just never be the same again!

Flashes of greatness, 13 Dec 2000
The first of Helen Simpson's 3 books of short stories (and, despite what it says above, now published by Vintage with a different cover) is a perceptive and amusing collections of short stories about love, marriage and motherhood. Though it has some of the uneveness which comes with being a first book, it is well worth reading (especially for the Greek-style play about giving birth, which features 2 choruses of midwives). Anyone who enjoys this book should also rush out and get hold of some of Lorrie Moore's short fiction.

domestic dullness, 23 Apr 2008
There is little doubt that Helen Simpson is indeed a very good writer but her subject matter - domestic life, women being stuck at home with children, giving up their careers, unsupportive husbands is so moany and whingey it left me thoroughly infuriated! Essentially the book is the same story told about eight times!

Therapy, 29 Apr 2006
These stories are worth reading for their literary merit alone -even if you are not interested in the subject matter. This is motherhood, or rather, the choices facing women about whether or not to combine motherhood and work. For some of her examples, it's essential and for others, it's a terrifying thought. But Helen's invention new verbs like "satined" against his skin is gorgeous and original.

Instead of railing against the burden of parenthood, Helen appears to voice her feelings through her fictional characters. It must have been thoroughly therapeutic to do so. Husbands and wives who are trying to 'have it all' or struggle with the demands of parenthood and coupledom will relate to these stories.

Yeah, itýs well written, but surely thereýs more to life, 20 Jul 2005
These short stories are extremely well written and there's a luscious, unrushed feeling about them, so often missing in short stories, but the subject matter is (for lack of a better word) depressing.

I'm all for realism, especially when it's this well written, but in this case, there's just too much focus on the downside / darker side of life which ended up getting in the way of my enjoyment.

Definitely worth reading for it's literary value, but in my case, scored extremely low in terms of entertainment value. Maybe it's a case of 'frame of mind', but don't say you hadn't been warned...!

Funny, sad-the perils of modern motherhood, 05 Apr 2001
I bought, I read, I laughed, I cried, I recognised me, my friends and foes. Helen Simpson writes like an exocet missile to the heart of modern, middle class motherhood. Everywhere is compromise,angst,love and sadness. Neeedless to say, having read this book I bought four copies and distributed them around my friends!

WOW!!, 28 Jan 2001
I recognised myself,friends and family in these stories...accutely painful, touching, and truly funny. All women should read this.."Its not just you!"

This book is a treasure., 22 Mar 2000
I love this book - I've read it over and over again. Simpson's stories are so perceptive, warm and funny. My particular favourite is "Heavy Weather", about a mother with two small children. It's about the sheer weariness and exhaustion involved in motherhood, and yet it manages to be humorous at the same time. To anyone with children it will be immensely familiar. Some of the stories show a wonderful flight of fancy - there's a great one about a bully of a father who takes a pill and turns into a wild boar.

A great book. When's the novel out?

Constitutional by Helen Simpson (reviewed by Kelvin M. Knight), 24 Aug 2008
I must be honest, if I had seen Constitutional in a bookshop or online, the cover would not have grabbed my attention. If not for the Bridport Prize, this collection of short stories would have flown under my radar. I am so glad it did not.

To begin with, there is no hint as to the nine stories' origins or pedigree. This air of anonymity is continued with no author acknowledgements whatsoever, only a fanfare of accolades from the big hitting national newspapers. So it was with trepidation I stepped inside Helen Simpson's world.

I need not have worried. The Door creaks opens (actually it was smashed open by burglars) and her unique style takes you by the hand; leads you on a scenic journey where the contrasting characters (predominately women) have all manner of adversities hurled at them and yet they survive. Reading the stories is like holding a mirror to yourself, to your daily bump and grind, and seeing how you survive.

The Year's Midnight is a tale of Christmas woe in a public swimming bath where a girl bawls out of control for her Daddy. Only Father Christmas gets anywhere close to consoling her; certainly not her mother, but a girl herself, who spurns help by wailing about her sad lot. Still, she has nicely-coloured hair. I particularly liked the view of the swimmers and the reasons for their health kicks: design flaws, anything and everything can go wrong with the human mind and body. This disease (hell all the diseases you can name) spread thematically into Every Third Thought where people start dying like buses: none for ages then all at once! I loved the rapier speech centred around the book group meeting (p26-7).

Early One Morning has Zoe battling a black dog of a marriage; on the plus side she has an amazing grasp of the English language, sent me scampering for cover in my dictionary. All she craves is not to be taken for granted. So begins the daily school crawl (read run), again. The conversations between the children on the back seat are wonderfully observed. At the end, her wish comes true in typical fairy tale fashion. Ahhh, simple things that make all mothers' hearts sigh: and house husband's, Helen, we are not for the chop yet... Unlike The Tree (one of two male viewpoint stories) where life and limb and the garden wall are pitted against a lovely old lady's touching slip into senility.

This is in stark contrast to, If I'm Spared, where we follow an unforgiving fleet street hack, Tom, and his forbearing (and irritating) wife, Barbara. The Good Life this story is not as the big C strikes, forcing Tom to change the habits of a life.

The Phlebotomist's Love Life will probably be the lead story when this collection launches in the U.S.A. as it deals with the controversial subject of the Gulf War. I liked the implication between getting blood out of a stone and love from a man. Poor old Patricia and her robotic three-minute cycles. Men are from Mars. No wonder all they want is sex, with no thought for the fruit of their loins becoming an apple of the earth in humanity's inhuman war after war.

Drop the morbidity, roll in the humour. The Green Room had me chuckling my Christmas stockings off as the spry elf Holly reigns (sorry) physical and mental bonhomie on the hapless Pamela. I loved the ending.

The ecliptic journey concludes with a lunchtime Constitutional around Hampstead Heath for a learned schoolteacher, fretting about her life while the overtones of O.C.D. play second fiddle to the weighty inevitability of genetic senility.

Some people may bemoan the diminutive size of this collection and complain about value for money. To them, I hear my wise old Nan (bless her soul) espouse, `Quality not quantity!'


Fun for many reasons, 01 May 2008
This is an interesting book on many levels. It's good on the origins of comics and superheroes, the reference section is surprisingly extensive with characters who will be new to most people and it is neither highbrow nor condescending.
Well worth a few quid.

Four Legs in a Bed & Other Stories (Getting a Life: Stories), 07 Mar 2006
Now republished in the USA by Vintage as 'Getting a Life: Stories', this is one of the best collection of humorous wildly sexy passionate stories I have ever read. Outrageously funny and wry, my train commute will just never be the same again!

Flashes of greatness, 13 Dec 2000
The first of Helen Simpson's 3 books of short stories (and, despite what it says above, now published by Vintage with a different cover) is a perceptive and amusing collections of short stories about love, marriage and motherhood. Though it has some of the uneveness which comes with being a first book, it is well worth reading (especially for the Greek-style play about giving birth, which features 2 choruses of midwives). Anyone who enjoys this book should also rush out and get hold of some of Lorrie Moore's short fiction.

domestic dullness, 23 Apr 2008
There is little doubt that Helen Simpson is indeed a very good writer but her subject matter - domestic life, women being stuck at home with children, giving up their careers, unsupportive husbands is so moany and whingey it left me thoroughly infuriated! Essentially the book is the same story told about eight times!

Therapy, 29 Apr 2006
These stories are worth reading for their literary merit alone -even if you are not interested in the subject matter. This is motherhood, or rather, the choices facing women about whether or not to combine motherhood and work. For some of her examples, it's essential and for others, it's a terrifying thought. But Helen's invention new verbs like "satined" against his skin is gorgeous and original.

Instead of railing against the burden of parenthood, Helen appears to voice her feelings through her fictional characters. It must have been thoroughly therapeutic to do so. Husbands and wives who are trying to 'have it all' or struggle with the demands of parenthood and coupledom will relate to these stories.

Yeah, itýs well written, but surely thereýs more to life, 20 Jul 2005
These short stories are extremely well written and there's a luscious, unrushed feeling about them, so often missing in short stories, but the subject matter is (for lack of a better word) depressing.

I'm all for realism, especially when it's this well written, but in this case, there's just too much focus on the downside / darker side of life which ended up getting in the way of my enjoyment.

Definitely worth reading for it's literary value, but in my case, scored extremely low in terms of entertainment value. Maybe it's a case of 'frame of mind', but don't say you hadn't been warned...!

Funny, sad-the perils of modern motherhood, 05 Apr 2001
I bought, I read, I laughed, I cried, I recognised me, my friends and foes. Helen Simpson writes like an exocet missile to the heart of modern, middle class motherhood. Everywhere is compromise,angst,love and sadness. Neeedless to say, having read this book I bought four copies and distributed them around my friends!

WOW!!, 28 Jan 2001
I recognised myself,friends and family in these stories...accutely painful, touching, and truly funny. All women should read this.."Its not just you!"

This book is a treasure., 22 Mar 2000
I love this book - I've read it over and over again. Simpson's stories are so perceptive, warm and funny. My particular favourite is "Heavy Weather", about a mother with two small children. It's about the sheer weariness and exhaustion involved in motherhood, and yet it manages to be humorous at the same time. To anyone with children it will be immensely familiar. Some of the stories show a wonderful flight of fancy - there's a great one about a bully of a father who takes a pill and turns into a wild boar.

A great book. When's the novel out?

On being a mum, 24 Nov 2007
Helen Simpson knows what it is like to be a mum of small children and describes it so well. a great short piece about two women in a coffee shop with one small boy and all the things they are thinking but don't get to say as the child holds the stage. Brilliant.

A must-read for the 'woman of a certain age.', 24 Nov 2001
Simpson's wry humor makes this collection a delight. The stories resonate with the middle-aged woman who's pondering where she's been, where she's going, and why life and relationships can't be easy, but who can see the humor in her situation.