Poor Alec Baldwin Still Doesn't Get It, 23 Sep 2008
I watched a few excerpts from Alec Baldwin's interview on 20/20 in relation to his book, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce. Men don't get a fair shake in divorce courts or from society-at-large. According to the promo:

"I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation," Alec Baldwin declares in A Promise to Ourselves. Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured.

I read some of the articles related to the interview and wondered if his personal journey, estimated at around $3 million in court costs plus jetting around regularly to remain in contact with his daughter, could offer much advice that most men could relate to. I suppose most men will easily avoid a similar experience simply because they can't afford it. In fact, divorce and its aftermath leave many men unable to afford a soft-copy version of such a book - let alone the hard-copy version on sale now.

Baldwin's inability to connect with the common man, or even his own situation for that matter, runs deeper than the amount of green at his disposal. A constant supporter of the Democratic Party, he paints Bill Clinton as a hero, regularly proclaims that Al Gore won the presidency, declared he'd leave the country if George Bush became president in 2000 (and then didn't leave), and is currently pushing the idea that Sarah Palin is a George Bush look-a-like; hoping to keep in touch with the extreme anti-Bush contingency.

For those who think Alec Baldwin is a superficial twit, he doesn't disappoint. After eight years of comment on the 2000 presidential election, he still hasn't figured out how the election process works, or doesn't understand the electoral college system, or isn't aware that every recount in Florida showed Bush won, or all of the above. So it doesn't seem out of character to see him continuing to support a political party that has expressed its hatred of men - divorced and never married fathers in particular - in its platform for almost two decades. How will helping this party maintain power "help others avoid the anguish he has endured?"

The answer is that it won't and most likely Alec Baldwin doesn't care that it won't. Face to face with the effects of politically expressed hatred and corruption he continues to embrace his tormentors. Rather than looking the evil in the eye and providing support in the battle against it, he wrote a book about himself.

Is his self-portrayal even real? Somehow I doubt it. He prayed, he says, that he wouldn't wake up in the morning and considered specific ideas about how to carry out his suicide. When it really comes down to a matter of life or death, people take care of the business that needs to be taken care of. Alec Baldwin is still working his manufactured image in direct contradiction to the need. He just can't get real.

Poor Alec Baldwin Still Doesn't Get It, 23 Sep 2008
I watched a few excerpts from Alec Baldwin's interview on 20/20 in relation to his book, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce. Men don't get a fair shake in divorce courts or from society-at-large. According to the promo:

"I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation," Alec Baldwin declares in A Promise to Ourselves. Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured.

I read some of the articles related to the interview and wondered if his personal journey, estimated at around $3 million in court costs plus jetting around regularly to remain in contact with his daughter, could offer much advice that most men could relate to. I suppose most men will easily avoid a similar experience simply because they can't afford it. In fact, divorce and its aftermath leave many men unable to afford a soft-copy version of such a book - let alone the hard-copy version on sale now.

Baldwin's inability to connect with the common man, or even his own situation for that matter, runs deeper than the amount of green at his disposal. A constant supporter of the Democratic Party, he paints Bill Clinton as a hero, regularly proclaims that Al Gore won the presidency, declared he'd leave the country if George Bush became president in 2000 (and then didn't leave), and is currently pushing the idea that Sarah Palin is a George Bush look-a-like; hoping to keep in touch with the extreme anti-Bush contingency.

For those who think Alec Baldwin is a superficial twit, he doesn't disappoint. After eight years of comment on the 2000 presidential election, he still hasn't figured out how the election process works, or doesn't understand the electoral college system, or isn't aware that every recount in Florida showed Bush won, or all of the above. So it doesn't seem out of character to see him continuing to support a political party that has expressed its hatred of men - divorced and never married fathers in particular - in its platform for almost two decades. How will helping this party maintain power "help others avoid the anguish he has endured?"

The answer is that it won't and most likely Alec Baldwin doesn't care that it won't. Face to face with the effects of politically expressed hatred and corruption he continues to embrace his tormentors. Rather than looking the evil in the eye and providing support in the battle against it, he wrote a book about himself.

Is his self-portrayal even real? Somehow I doubt it. He prayed, he says, that he wouldn't wake up in the morning and considered specific ideas about how to carry out his suicide. When it really comes down to a matter of life or death, people take care of the business that needs to be taken care of. Alec Baldwin is still working his manufactured image in direct contradiction to the need. He just can't get real.


Funny, cringeworthy and honest account of past relationships, brilliant!, 04 Jun 2008
At first look you would think the book was about a complete control freak's dating history, but charlotte proves to be a well-intentioned but slighty bonkers dating partner, with a good heart and witty musings. I very much enjoyed reading this book, and I think it was because it's real and there's something you can relate to at least on every other page. I was reading it on public transport and I can't count the looks I received as laughing out loud or cringing in equal measures while doing so!! I'd recommend it to anyone who thinks they've ever done anything bonkers in the name of love or lust, because it's probably nothing compared to any of the people in this book.

Brilliant and relateable, 03 Jun 2008
This book details various dating situations from Charlotte and her friends over the years, the best thing being that it is non-fiction. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and have found myself laughing at some of the hilariously stupid things they've done and how familiar some of the situations seem. Whoever you are you will find it difficult not to relate to some of the dating experiences and it also details the opinions of her friends, both male and female. It's even made me feel better about my foolish behaviour in the past! Easy to read and difficult to put down.

Absolutely Loved it! Very Sex and the City!, 31 May 2008
i loved this book and couldnt put it down ,has everything you need to remind you of your young days dating ,trials and tribulations of todays dating and relationship problems! most of the examples used will relate to every woman out there! would recommend this to anyone! xx

If you loved Bridget Jones' Diary, then you'll savour this book, 08 May 2008
The best thing about this book is that it is all true. We've all done crazy things at times of desperation, and Charlotte lets us know we are not alone in our neurotic antics. Evoking the readers own memories of better-best-forgotten experiences, and dating-game nightmares, this book will honestly make you feel that like you are perfectly normal. Not to mention some sly tricks for keeping men going off the rails too much (The Nando's trick is genius)
This book is perfect for the summer, and will have you chuckling to yourself throughout. I couldn't put it down.
Regardless of whether you are single, married or somewhere in between, trust me, you will relate to this book!

A fabulous read!, 05 May 2008
This is a lovely, lively look at negotiating your way around those tricky relationship issues we all face. It's written with a real warmth and despite detailing some rather embarrassing dating tales the whole thing has an uplifting air about it.

Although the back page blurb has this down as an "intimate memoir", it is much more than that. Charlotte Ward does take us through her own trials and tribulations, but along the way she involves stories and perspectives from friends and acquaintances - both male and female.

This was a fabulous read I'd recommend to anyone!

Poor Alec Baldwin Still Doesn't Get It, 23 Sep 2008
I watched a few excerpts from Alec Baldwin's interview on 20/20 in relation to his book, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce. Men don't get a fair shake in divorce courts or from society-at-large. According to the promo:

"I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation," Alec Baldwin declares in A Promise to Ourselves. Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured.

I read some of the articles related to the interview and wondered if his personal journey, estimated at around $3 million in court costs plus jetting around regularly to remain in contact with his daughter, could offer much advice that most men could relate to. I suppose most men will easily avoid a similar experience simply because they can't afford it. In fact, divorce and its aftermath leave many men unable to afford a soft-copy version of such a book - let alone the hard-copy version on sale now.

Baldwin's inability to connect with the common man, or even his own situation for that matter, runs deeper than the amount of green at his disposal. A constant supporter of the Democratic Party, he paints Bill Clinton as a hero, regularly proclaims that Al Gore won the presidency, declared he'd leave the country if George Bush became president in 2000 (and then didn't leave), and is currently pushing the idea that Sarah Palin is a George Bush look-a-like; hoping to keep in touch with the extreme anti-Bush contingency.

For those who think Alec Baldwin is a superficial twit, he doesn't disappoint. After eight years of comment on the 2000 presidential election, he still hasn't figured out how the election process works, or doesn't understand the electoral college system, or isn't aware that every recount in Florida showed Bush won, or all of the above. So it doesn't seem out of character to see him continuing to support a political party that has expressed its hatred of men - divorced and never married fathers in particular - in its platform for almost two decades. How will helping this party maintain power "help others avoid the anguish he has endured?"

The answer is that it won't and most likely Alec Baldwin doesn't care that it won't. Face to face with the effects of politically expressed hatred and corruption he continues to embrace his tormentors. Rather than looking the evil in the eye and providing support in the battle against it, he wrote a book about himself.

Is his self-portrayal even real? Somehow I doubt it. He prayed, he says, that he wouldn't wake up in the morning and considered specific ideas about how to carry out his suicide. When it really comes down to a matter of life or death, people take care of the business that needs to be taken care of. Alec Baldwin is still working his manufactured image in direct contradiction to the need. He just can't get real.


Funny, cringeworthy and honest account of past relationships, brilliant!, 04 Jun 2008
At first look you would think the book was about a complete control freak's dating history, but charlotte proves to be a well-intentioned but slighty bonkers dating partner, with a good heart and witty musings. I very much enjoyed reading this book, and I think it was because it's real and there's something you can relate to at least on every other page. I was reading it on public transport and I can't count the looks I received as laughing out loud or cringing in equal measures while doing so!! I'd recommend it to anyone who thinks they've ever done anything bonkers in the name of love or lust, because it's probably nothing compared to any of the people in this book.

Brilliant and relateable, 03 Jun 2008
This book details various dating situations from Charlotte and her friends over the years, the best thing being that it is non-fiction. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and have found myself laughing at some of the hilariously stupid things they've done and how familiar some of the situations seem. Whoever you are you will find it difficult not to relate to some of the dating experiences and it also details the opinions of her friends, both male and female. It's even made me feel better about my foolish behaviour in the past! Easy to read and difficult to put down.

Absolutely Loved it! Very Sex and the City!, 31 May 2008
i loved this book and couldnt put it down ,has everything you need to remind you of your young days dating ,trials and tribulations of todays dating and relationship problems! most of the examples used will relate to every woman out there! would recommend this to anyone! xx

If you loved Bridget Jones' Diary, then you'll savour this book, 08 May 2008
The best thing about this book is that it is all true. We've all done crazy things at times of desperation, and Charlotte lets us know we are not alone in our neurotic antics. Evoking the readers own memories of better-best-forgotten experiences, and dating-game nightmares, this book will honestly make you feel that like you are perfectly normal. Not to mention some sly tricks for keeping men going off the rails too much (The Nando's trick is genius)
This book is perfect for the summer, and will have you chuckling to yourself throughout. I couldn't put it down.
Regardless of whether you are single, married or somewhere in between, trust me, you will relate to this book!

A fabulous read!, 05 May 2008
This is a lovely, lively look at negotiating your way around those tricky relationship issues we all face. It's written with a real warmth and despite detailing some rather embarrassing dating tales the whole thing has an uplifting air about it.

Although the back page blurb has this down as an "intimate memoir", it is much more than that. Charlotte Ward does take us through her own trials and tribulations, but along the way she involves stories and perspectives from friends and acquaintances - both male and female.

This was a fabulous read I'd recommend to anyone!

a catalogue of injustice , 06 Oct 2008
The problem with complaining about any system especially one as powerful as the divorce courts you are taking on the establishment and any complainant it branded as a troublemaker.

Nowadays were are encouraged to provide feedback on almost every experience we have. I used to fill them in and make specific comments. i don't bother any more as the comments are swept under the carpet.

Even if you are a completely biased observer and take the view that the fathers are guilty of poor behaviour the system should not treat them the way that they do. Criminals in prison seem to have more rights than fathers.

The court system is designed to provide work for judges barristers and solicitors and these things are all tied up in consent orders and rarely are there court cases where disputes are aired. Judges don't want to make decisions they just want to pat lawyers on the back for coming to a sensible decision. That is one that does not ruffle the court system.

The court system is also very class ridden. They would ridicule anyone who could not speak or write properly. They would then have you written off as a working class oik. they are urged by the Lord chancellor to help litigants in person but they are told not to give legal advice. You have to make your way through a system set up for the convenience of the legal profession and the courts not the public.


I would be interested to know if any of these writers of books about the divorce courts know how to mount a defence that works. Obviously constantly appealing against judgment doesn't to seem to work.


Highly recommended and a must read for anyone who wants to know how the establishment crushes those who complain.

not so 'family' Court., 09 Sep 2008
We had the lie-telling Dr Hamish Cameron in our case too. My own parents divorce was similar to the Harris case in Family Court Hell. Years of dishonest court experts all telling us (I'm the eldest of four sisters) what to say which had to coincide with our mothers' wishes about us seeing our Dad. We even had this appalling Dr Hamish Cameron who, like in the Harris case, lied about our Dad. Cameron is pure evil, corrupt and wicked. The book though is an excellent insight about the injustices of family courts. I do wonder, now aged 20 and looking back, could all of these people abuse children in this way if these courts were fully open to the press and public?

why, 07 Jul 2008
why are these courts allowed to get away with it i feel so sorry for mark and his girls
i know mark and his daughter lisa
he taught my daughter to drive she liked him and ithink he is a good man

The courts where some are more equal than others before the law, 17 Jun 2008
The most elementary principle of justice in a democracy is that all are held to be equal in the eyes of the law. On the evidence of this book it is now abundantly clear that a father, far from being equal in disputes over access to his children, is held to be of no account in the secret family courts. He is liable to be dispossessed of all contact with his children at will by his former wife or partner on a whim or as part of a family feud. Mark Harris' one mistake was to marry into a family of vindictive sociopaths who forcibly abducted his wife and children and smashed up the family home. That he stayed in touch with those children and stuck it out through truly Kafkaesque abuse of legal process by the secret family courts and their corrupt mendacious judges, counsel and so called experts for 10 years, until the passage of time allowed his children to make their own choice, is a tribute to human endurance on a parallel with any other I have read about. The lengths the authorities went to in smearing and crushing the harmless organised protests that fathers in similar situations put on, show what kind of state we live in. This book is also a wake up call to defenders of civil liberties, people with whom I normally do not have much sympathy. It turns out that even the alleged plot to kidnap Leo Blair was probably put about by the security services. Was the so called desecration at Stonehenge a matter for grave disquiet? Not really; it was an imaginative publicity stunt and did no damage to the monument. Until the family courts are brought out into the light of day and scrutinised properly, the grave miscarriages of justice described in this book will continue. It used to be said that an Englishman's home was his castle until his wife decided to take it away from him. To that can now be added that his children are his own until the lady decides to remove them with the backing of the courts and legal establishment.

Shocking, gripping, essential, 17 Jun 2008
Those, like me, who thought that British courts believe in dispensing justice need to read this book. It is a shocking story of an ordinary father and his daughters being forced apart by a selfish mother and the British legal system. As a separated man who has fortunately avoided the family court system I find it appalling and terrifying that other men in similar situations have their children taken away from them and their fight for justice brings them misery, poverty and in Harris's case, jail.

Thank you Mark Harris for writing this book. Thank you Lisa Harris for standing up for yourself and your sisters and your father. May all those involved in perpetrating these miscarriages of justice and ruining people's lives read this book and change their ways.

I'm off to join F4J. (I'll look ridiculous in tights.)

Poor Alec Baldwin Still Doesn't Get It, 23 Sep 2008
I watched a few excerpts from Alec Baldwin's interview on 20/20 in relation to his book, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce. Men don't get a fair shake in divorce courts or from society-at-large. According to the promo:

"I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation," Alec Baldwin declares in A Promise to Ourselves. Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured.

I read some of the articles related to the interview and wondered if his personal journey, estimated at around $3 million in court costs plus jetting around regularly to remain in contact with his daughter, could offer much advice that most men could relate to. I suppose most men will easily avoid a similar experience simply because they can't afford it. In fact, divorce and its aftermath leave many men unable to afford a soft-copy version of such a book - let alone the hard-copy version on sale now.

Baldwin's inability to connect with the common man, or even his own situation for that matter, runs deeper than the amount of green at his disposal. A constant supporter of the Democratic Party, he paints Bill Clinton as a hero, regularly proclaims that Al Gore won the presidency, declared he'd leave the country if George Bush became president in 2000 (and then didn't leave), and is currently pushing the idea that Sarah Palin is a George Bush look-a-like; hoping to keep in touch with the extreme anti-Bush contingency.

For those who think Alec Baldwin is a superficial twit, he doesn't disappoint. After eight years of comment on the 2000 presidential election, he still hasn't figured out how the election process works, or doesn't understand the electoral college system, or isn't aware that every recount in Florida showed Bush won, or all of the above. So it doesn't seem out of character to see him continuing to support a political party that has expressed its hatred of men - divorced and never married fathers in particular - in its platform for almost two decades. How will helping this party maintain power "help others avoid the anguish he has endured?"

The answer is that it won't and most likely Alec Baldwin doesn't care that it won't. Face to face with the effects of politically expressed hatred and corruption he continues to embrace his tormentors. Rather than looking the evil in the eye and providing support in the battle against it, he wrote a book about himself.

Is his self-portrayal even real? Somehow I doubt it. He prayed, he says, that he wouldn't wake up in the morning and considered specific ideas about how to carry out his suicide. When it really comes down to a matter of life or death, people take care of the business that needs to be taken care of. Alec Baldwin is still working his manufactured image in direct contradiction to the need. He just can't get real.


Funny, cringeworthy and honest account of past relationships, brilliant!, 04 Jun 2008
At first look you would think the book was about a complete control freak's dating history, but charlotte proves to be a well-intentioned but slighty bonkers dating partner, with a good heart and witty musings. I very much enjoyed reading this book, and I think it was because it's real and there's something you can relate to at least on every other page. I was reading it on public transport and I can't count the looks I received as laughing out loud or cringing in equal measures while doing so!! I'd recommend it to anyone who thinks they've ever done anything bonkers in the name of love or lust, because it's probably nothing compared to any of the people in this book.

Brilliant and relateable, 03 Jun 2008
This book details various dating situations from Charlotte and her friends over the years, the best thing being that it is non-fiction. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and have found myself laughing at some of the hilariously stupid things they've done and how familiar some of the situations seem. Whoever you are you will find it difficult not to relate to some of the dating experiences and it also details the opinions of her friends, both male and female. It's even made me feel better about my foolish behaviour in the past! Easy to read and difficult to put down.

Absolutely Loved it! Very Sex and the City!, 31 May 2008
i loved this book and couldnt put it down ,has everything you need to remind you of your young days dating ,trials and tribulations of todays dating and relationship problems! most of the examples used will relate to every woman out there! would recommend this to anyone! xx

If you loved Bridget Jones' Diary, then you'll savour this book, 08 May 2008
The best thing about this book is that it is all true. We've all done crazy things at times of desperation, and Charlotte lets us know we are not alone in our neurotic antics. Evoking the readers own memories of better-best-forgotten experiences, and dating-game nightmares, this book will honestly make you feel that like you are perfectly normal. Not to mention some sly tricks for keeping men going off the rails too much (The Nando's trick is genius)
This book is perfect for the summer, and will have you chuckling to yourself throughout. I couldn't put it down.
Regardless of whether you are single, married or somewhere in between, trust me, you will relate to this book!

A fabulous read!, 05 May 2008
This is a lovely, lively look at negotiating your way around those tricky relationship issues we all face. It's written with a real warmth and despite detailing some rather embarrassing dating tales the whole thing has an uplifting air about it.

Although the back page blurb has this down as an "intimate memoir", it is much more than that. Charlotte Ward does take us through her own trials and tribulations, but along the way she involves stories and perspectives from friends and acquaintances - both male and female.

This was a fabulous read I'd recommend to anyone!

a catalogue of injustice , 06 Oct 2008
The problem with complaining about any system especially one as powerful as the divorce courts you are taking on the establishment and any complainant it branded as a troublemaker.

Nowadays were are encouraged to provide feedback on almost every experience we have. I used to fill them in and make specific comments. i don't bother any more as the comments are swept under the carpet.

Even if you are a completely biased observer and take the view that the fathers are guilty of poor behaviour the system should not treat them the way that they do. Criminals in prison seem to have more rights than fathers.

The court system is designed to provide work for judges barristers and solicitors and these things are all tied up in consent orders and rarely are there court cases where disputes are aired. Judges don't want to make decisions they just want to pat lawyers on the back for coming to a sensible decision. That is one that does not ruffle the court system.

The court system is also very class ridden. They would ridicule anyone who could not speak or write properly. They would then have you written off as a working class oik. they are urged by the Lord chancellor to help litigants in person but they are told not to give legal advice. You have to make your way through a system set up for the convenience of the legal profession and the courts not the public.


I would be interested to know if any of these writers of books about the divorce courts know how to mount a defence that works. Obviously constantly appealing against judgment doesn't to seem to work.


Highly recommended and a must read for anyone who wants to know how the establishment crushes those who complain.

not so 'family' Court., 09 Sep 2008
We had the lie-telling Dr Hamish Cameron in our case too. My own parents divorce was similar to the Harris case in Family Court Hell. Years of dishonest court experts all telling us (I'm the eldest of four sisters) what to say which had to coincide with our mothers' wishes about us seeing our Dad. We even had this appalling Dr Hamish Cameron who, like in the Harris case, lied about our Dad. Cameron is pure evil, corrupt and wicked. The book though is an excellent insight about the injustices of family courts. I do wonder, now aged 20 and looking back, could all of these people abuse children in this way if these courts were fully open to the press and public?

why, 07 Jul 2008
why are these courts allowed to get away with it i feel so sorry for mark and his girls
i know mark and his daughter lisa
he taught my daughter to drive she liked him and ithink he is a good man

The courts where some are more equal than others before the law, 17 Jun 2008
The most elementary principle of justice in a democracy is that all are held to be equal in the eyes of the law. On the evidence of this book it is now abundantly clear that a father, far from being equal in disputes over access to his children, is held to be of no account in the secret family courts. He is liable to be dispossessed of all contact with his children at will by his former wife or partner on a whim or as part of a family feud. Mark Harris' one mistake was to marry into a family of vindictive sociopaths who forcibly abducted his wife and children and smashed up the family home. That he stayed in touch with those children and stuck it out through truly Kafkaesque abuse of legal process by the secret family courts and their corrupt mendacious judges, counsel and so called experts for 10 years, until the passage of time allowed his children to make their own choice, is a tribute to human endurance on a parallel with any other I have read about. The lengths the authorities went to in smearing and crushing the harmless organised protests that fathers in similar situations put on, show what kind of state we live in. This book is also a wake up call to defenders of civil liberties, people with whom I normally do not have much sympathy. It turns out that even the alleged plot to kidnap Leo Blair was probably put about by the security services. Was the so called desecration at Stonehenge a matter for grave disquiet? Not really; it was an imaginative publicity stunt and did no damage to the monument. Until the family courts are brought out into the light of day and scrutinised properly, the grave miscarriages of justice described in this book will continue. It used to be said that an Englishman's home was his castle until his wife decided to take it away from him. To that can now be added that his children are his own until the lady decides to remove them with the backing of the courts and legal establishment.

Shocking, gripping, essential, 17 Jun 2008
Those, like me, who thought that British courts believe in dispensing justice need to read this book. It is a shocking story of an ordinary father and his daughters being forced apart by a selfish mother and the British legal system. As a separated man who has fortunately avoided the family court system I find it appalling and terrifying that other men in similar situations have their children taken away from them and their fight for justice brings them misery, poverty and in Harris's case, jail.

Thank you Mark Harris for writing this book. Thank you Lisa Harris for standing up for yourself and your sisters and your father. May all those involved in perpetrating these miscarriages of justice and ruining people's lives read this book and change their ways.

I'm off to join F4J. (I'll look ridiculous in tights.)



Ehhh... get this on library loan, and read the blog instead. , 03 Nov 2007
For the benefit of those who don't really follow online blog personalities, Crazy Aunt Purl is the moniker undergone by Laurie Perry. A Texican who migrated to California, she got married, invested her selfworth and mental wellbeing in her husband, only for him to split. In despair she started a blog to chart her new life and its progress as it were, and well, her blog just became great. She was nominated for Blog of the year in 2005/6.

In the world of knitting, Crazy Aunt Purl is rather like the yarn Harlot (Stephanie Pearl-McPhee) in the sense that you go to her blog to garner a laugh and get the odd insight be it life or love (for knitting). No patterns there!

The difference is that The Yarn Harlot was born in the land of knitting; she knows the language, has the passport and changes the moods as well as dictating the trends. On the other hand, Crazy Aunt Purl is a new migrant, and her struggles with knitting and subsequent joy in the craft rather mirrors the snags and highs in her new life, post divorce.

If you've read her blog, you'll have an idea about the book: each chapter is like a blog entry, one subject debated at length in short bites. The book is divided into three sections, each showing desperation, a stumble and then recovery. There are patterns in the back, a bit quirky, nothing special (although I like the lace scarf and cap).

To be honest, I think her blog is much better than the book. The blog posts feel spontaneous, quirkier and a bit more complete. In contrast, the book seems to have been edited to the point of stiltedness. The stronger 'entries' in the books are those lifted from her blog (about 15 percent). In the blog, her speech candence comes out more, as well as that Southern sensiblity and sass. In the book... not so much.

If you're not a knitter, don't let it deter you from having a read. It could have been any hobby that gave the author focus and made her find herself, so to speak. There are a few good chapters that make you think, especially the one where the author enters into a relationship with someone and recognises that although he may not be the one, he made her feel special and worthy, and noting that though its not love, it means something. As someone who's gone through a similar patch regarding relationships, it's an important lesson to learn.

Overall, I'd say relegate this on library loan, and read the blog instead. I can't sell this book on, because I inadvertently ruined it. :/'

Poor Alec Baldwin Still Doesn't Get It, 23 Sep 2008
I watched a few excerpts from Alec Baldwin's interview on 20/20 in relation to his book, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce. Men don't get a fair shake in divorce courts or from society-at-large. According to the promo:

"I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation," Alec Baldwin declares in A Promise to Ourselves. Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured.

I read some of the articles related to the interview and wondered if his personal journey, estimated at around $3 million in court costs plus jetting around regularly to remain in contact with his daughter, could offer much advice that most men could relate to. I suppose most men will easily avoid a similar experience simply because they can't afford it. In fact, divorce and its aftermath leave many men unable to afford a soft-copy version of such a book - let alone the hard-copy version on sale now.

Baldwin's inability to connect with the common man, or even his own situation for that matter, runs deeper than the amount of green at his disposal. A constant supporter of the Democratic Party, he paints Bill Clinton as a hero, regularly proclaims that Al Gore won the presidency, declared he'd leave the country if George Bush became president in 2000 (and then didn't leave), and is currently pushing the idea that Sarah Palin is a George Bush look-a-like; hoping to keep in touch with the extreme anti-Bush contingency.

For those who think Alec Baldwin is a superficial twit, he doesn't disappoint. After eight years of comment on the 2000 presidential election, he still hasn't figured out how the election process works, or doesn't understand the electoral college system, or isn't aware that every recount in Florida showed Bush won, or all of the above. So it doesn't seem out of character to see him continuing to support a political party that has expressed its hatred of men - divorced and never married fathers in particular - in its platform for almost two decades. How will helping this party maintain power "help others avoid the anguish he has endured?"

The answer is that it won't and most likely Alec Baldwin doesn't care that it won't. Face to face with the effects of politically expressed hatred and corruption he continues to embrace his tormentors. Rather than looking the evil in the eye and providing support in the battle against it, he wrote a book about himself.

Is his self-portrayal even real? Somehow I doubt it. He prayed, he says, that he wouldn't wake up in the morning and considered specific ideas about how to carry out his suicide. When it really comes down to a matter of life or death, people take care of the business that needs to be taken care of. Alec Baldwin is still working his manufactured image in direct contradiction to the need. He just can't get real.


Funny, cringeworthy and honest account of past relationships, brilliant!, 04 Jun 2008
At first look you would think the book was about a complete control freak's dating history, but charlotte proves to be a well-intentioned but slighty bonkers dating partner, with a good heart and witty musings. I very much enjoyed reading this book, and I think it was because it's real and there's something you can relate to at least on every other page. I was reading it on public transport and I can't count the looks I received as laughing out loud or cringing in equal measures while doing so!! I'd recommend it to anyone who thinks they've ever done anything bonkers in the name of love or lust, because it's probably nothing compared to any of the people in this book.

Brilliant and relateable, 03 Jun 2008
This book details various dating situations from Charlotte and her friends over the years, the best thing being that it is non-fiction. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and have found myself laughing at some of the hilariously stupid things they've done and how familiar some of the situations seem. Whoever you are you will find it difficult not to relate to some of the dating experiences and it also details the opinions of her friends, both male and female. It's even made me feel better about my foolish behaviour in the past! Easy to read and difficult to put down.

Absolutely Loved it! Very Sex and the City!, 31 May 2008
i loved this book and couldnt put it down ,has everything you need to remind you of your young days dating ,trials and tribulations of todays dating and relationship problems! most of the examples used will relate to every woman out there! would recommend this to anyone! xx

If you loved Bridget Jones' Diary, then you'll savour this book, 08 May 2008
The best thing about this book is that it is all true. We've all done crazy things at times of desperation, and Charlotte lets us know we are not alone in our neurotic antics. Evoking the readers own memories of better-best-forgotten experiences, and dating-game nightmares, this book will honestly make you feel that like you are perfectly normal. Not to mention some sly tricks for keeping men going off the rails too much (The Nando's trick is genius)
This book is perfect for the summer, and will have you chuckling to yourself throughout. I couldn't put it down.
Regardless of whether you are single, married or somewhere in between, trust me, you will relate to this book!

A fabulous read!, 05 May 2008
This is a lovely, lively look at negotiating your way around those tricky relationship issues we all face. It's written with a real warmth and despite detailing some rather embarrassing dating tales the whole thing has an uplifting air about it.

Although the back page blurb has this down as an "intimate memoir", it is much more than that. Charlotte Ward does take us through her own trials and tribulations, but along the way she involves stories and perspectives from friends and acquaintances - both male and female.

This was a fabulous read I'd recommend to anyone!

a catalogue of injustice , 06 Oct 2008
The problem with complaining about any system especially one as powerful as the divorce courts you are taking on the establishment and any complainant it branded as a troublemaker.

Nowadays were are encouraged to provide feedback on almost every experience we have. I used to fill them in and make specific comments. i don't bother any more as the comments are swept under the carpet.

Even if you are a completely biased observer and take the view that the fathers are guilty of poor behaviour the system should not treat them the way that they do. Criminals in prison seem to have more rights than fathers.

The court system is designed to provide work for judges barristers and solicitors and these things are all tied up in consent orders and rarely are there court cases where disputes are aired. Judges don't want to make decisions they just want to pat lawyers on the back for coming to a sensible decision. That is one that does not ruffle the court system.

The court system is also very class ridden. They would ridicule anyone who could not speak or write properly. They would then have you written off as a working class oik. they are urged by the Lord chancellor to help litigants in person but they are told not to give legal advice. You have to make your way through a system set up for the convenience of the legal profession and the courts not the public.


I would be interested to know if any of these writers of books about the divorce courts know how to mount a defence that works. Obviously constantly appealing against judgment doesn't to seem to work.


Highly recommended and a must read for anyone who wants to know how the establishment crushes those who complain.

not so 'family' Court., 09 Sep 2008
We had the lie-telling Dr Hamish Cameron in our case too. My own parents divorce was similar to the Harris case in Family Court Hell. Years of dishonest court experts all telling us (I'm the eldest of four sisters) what to say which had to coincide with our mothers' wishes about us seeing our Dad. We even had this appalling Dr Hamish Cameron who, like in the Harris case, lied about our Dad. Cameron is pure evil, corrupt and wicked. The book though is an excellent insight about the injustices of family courts. I do wonder, now aged 20 and looking back, could all of these people abuse children in this way if these courts were fully open to the press and public?

why, 07 Jul 2008
why are these courts allowed to get away with it i feel so sorry for mark and his girls
i know mark and his daughter lisa
he taught my daughter to drive she liked him and ithink he is a good man

The courts where some are more equal than others before the law, 17 Jun 2008
The most elementary principle of justice in a democracy is that all are held to be equal in the eyes of the law. On the evidence of this book it is now abundantly clear that a father, far from being equal in disputes over access to his children, is held to be of no account in the secret family courts. He is liable to be dispossessed of all contact with his children at will by his former wife or partner on a whim or as part of a family feud. Mark Harris' one mistake was to marry into a family of vindictive sociopaths who forcibly abducted his wife and children and smashed up the family home. That he stayed in touch with those children and stuck it out through truly Kafkaesque abuse of legal process by the secret family courts and their corrupt mendacious judges, counsel and so called experts for 10 years, until the passage of time allowed his children to make their own choice, is a tribute to human endurance on a parallel with any other I have read about. The lengths the authorities went to in smearing and crushing the harmless organised protests that fathers in similar situations put on, show what kind of state we live in. This book is also a wake up call to defenders of civil liberties, people with whom I normally do not have much sympathy. It turns out that even the alleged plot to kidnap Leo Blair was probably put about by the security services. Was the so called desecration at Stonehenge a matter for grave disquiet? Not really; it was an imaginative publicity stunt and did no damage to the monument. Until the family courts are brought out into the light of day and scrutinised properly, the grave miscarriages of justice described in this book will continue. It used to be said that an Englishman's home was his castle until his wife decided to take it away from him. To that can now be added that his children are his own until the lady decides to remove them with the backing of the courts and legal establishment.

Shocking, gripping, essential, 17 Jun 2008
Those, like me, who thought that British courts believe in dispensing justice need to read this book. It is a shocking story of an ordinary father and his daughters being forced apart by a selfish mother and the British legal system. As a separated man who has fortunately avoided the family court system I find it appalling and terrifying that other men in similar situations have their children taken away from them and their fight for justice brings them misery, poverty and in Harris's case, jail.

Thank you Mark Harris for writing this book. Thank you Lisa Harris for standing up for yourself and your sisters and your father. May all those involved in perpetrating these miscarriages of justice and ruining people's lives read this book and change their ways.

I'm off to join F4J. (I'll look ridiculous in tights.)



Ehhh... get this on library loan, and read the blog instead. , 03 Nov 2007
For the benefit of those who don't really follow online blog personalities, Crazy Aunt Purl is the moniker undergone by Laurie Perry. A Texican who migrated to California, she got married, invested her selfworth and mental wellbeing in her husband, only for him to split. In despair she started a blog to chart her new life and its progress as it were, and well, her blog just became great. She was nominated for Blog of the year in 2005/6.

In the world of knitting, Crazy Aunt Purl is rather like the yarn Harlot (Stephanie Pearl-McPhee) in the sense that you go to her blog to garner a laugh and get the odd insight be it life or love (for knitting). No patterns there!

The difference is that The Yarn Harlot was born in the land of knitting; she knows the language, has the passport and changes the moods as well as dictating the trends. On the other hand, Crazy Aunt Purl is a new migrant, and her struggles with knitting and subsequent joy in the craft rather mirrors the snags and highs in her new life, post divorce.

If you've read her blog, you'll have an idea about the book: each chapter is like a blog entry, one subject debated at length in short bites. The book is divided into three sections, each showing desperation, a stumble and then recovery. There are patterns in the back, a bit quirky, nothing special (although I like the lace scarf and cap).

To be honest, I think her blog is much better than the book. The blog posts feel spontaneous, quirkier and a bit more complete. In contrast, the book seems to have been edited to the point of stiltedness. The stronger 'entries' in the books are those lifted from her blog (about 15 percent). In the blog, her speech candence comes out more, as well as that Southern sensiblity and sass. In the book... not so much.

If you're not a knitter, don't let it deter you from having a read. It could have been any hobby that gave the author focus and made her find herself, so to speak. There are a few good chapters that make you think, especially the one where the author enters into a relationship with someone and recognises that although he may not be the one, he made her feel special and worthy, and noting that though its not love, it means something. As someone who's gone through a similar patch regarding relationships, it's an important lesson to learn.

Overall, I'd say relegate this on library loan, and read the blog instead. I can't sell this book on, because I inadvertently ruined it. :/'


A must read, 25 Aug 2006
I had just finished reading this book, which was banned by the country the story it was set in, the same one I came from, Singapore. It was a really absorbing book, and I could hardly put it down. Interestingly, it is both a good book and a bad book. I will look at both sides in my review.

Good points:
This book is great as it tells the story of an Asian society `as it was'. The key word here is `was'. Because the ideology portrayed in the book was mainly of the last generation, or of those `old money' type. A number of points illustrated in the book do not apply to most of the modern, and western, way of thinking in Singapore anymore. Another good point about the book is it took on the established authority in Singapore, revealing things that will otherwise never be made known to the public. I really applaud the writer for daring to step out of line and write the book.

Bad points:
The bad point about the book is the author really enjoyed "chinaman bashing". The term "chinaman" refers to someone from China, not Singapore, or as I mentioned above, Chinese men with "old money". Most modern Chinese men do not think or behave as she described in the book. Further more, while the author portrays "chinamen" in a bad light, she had exposed herself to be a typical SPG who got excited and spread her legs for an "ang moh" man. And also just like typical SPG, she views a white man (does not matter where they come from) as a ticket to get out of the country and live in a western country. Strangely I do not get as excited as the author when I first arrived in the UK. While I can also understand her pitiful marriage to a "chinaman" that comes from a family with "old money", it is only her own fault that she was foolish enough to be swept off her feet by a bad person.


Conclusion:
I, like the author, am a "quitter", and therefore I could sympathize with much of her frustration with the Singapore system. I even agree to the points she made about "chinaman". But I strongly feel that she should make it clear that it mainly apply to the last generation, not the current. Women of the current generation mainly work, until the "sit-home-taitai" the author was. Overall it is a good book and reading it made me feel a little homesick. I will strongly recommend it to any Singaporean. It had described Singapore in a way never seen before, without fear from the authorities. It exposes all the scandals happening in high places around the world. Most importantly of all, it is a very true book.


Escape from Paradise, 14 Jun 2004
A well written book - I couldn't put the book down after I started reading it.

May Chu, the grand daughter of the Tiger Balm King described her childhood life and her marriage life. Her experience with the traditional Chinese family and the legal system in Singapore. I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially women who are interested to learn more about woman's right.

Poor Alec Baldwin Still Doesn't Get It, 23 Sep 2008
I watched a few excerpts from Alec Baldwin's interview on 20/20 in relation to his book, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce. Men don't get a fair shake in divorce courts or from society-at-large. According to the promo:

"I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation," Alec Baldwin declares in A Promise to Ourselves. Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured.

I read some of the articles related to the interview and wondered if his personal journey, estimated at around $3 million in court costs plus jetting around regularly to remain in contact with his daughter, could offer much advice that most men could relate to. I suppose most men will easily avoid a similar experience simply because they can't afford it. In fact, divorce and its aftermath leave many men unable to afford a soft-copy version of such a book - let alone the hard-copy version on sale now.

Baldwin's inability to connect with the common man, or even his own situation for that matter, runs deeper than the amount of green at his disposal. A constant supporter of the Democratic Party, he paints Bill Clinton as a hero, regularly proclaims that Al Gore won the presidency, declared he'd leave the country if George Bush became president in 2000 (and then didn't leave), and is currently pushing the idea that Sarah Palin is a George Bush look-a-like; hoping to keep in touch with the extreme anti-Bush contingency.

For those who think Alec Baldwin is a superficial twit, he doesn't disappoint. After eight years of comment on the 2000 presidential election, he still hasn't figured out how the election process works, or doesn't understand the electoral college system, or isn't aware that every recount in Florida showed Bush won, or all of the above. So it doesn't seem out of character to see him continuing to support a political party that has expressed its hatred of men - divorced and never married fathers in particular - in its platform for almost two decades. How will helping this party maintain power "help others avoid the anguish he has endured?"

The answer is that it won't and most likely Alec Baldwin doesn't care that it won't. Face to face with the effects of politically expressed hatred and corruption he continues to embrace his tormentors. Rather than looking the evil in the eye and providing support in the battle against it, he wrote a book about himself.

Is his self-portrayal even real? Somehow I doubt it. He prayed, he says, that he wouldn't wake up in the morning and considered specific ideas about how to carry out his suicide. When it really comes down to a matter of life or death, people take care of the business that needs to be taken care of. Alec Baldwin is still working his manufactured image in direct contradiction to the need. He just can't get real.


Funny, cringeworthy and honest account of past relationships, brilliant!, 04 Jun 2008
At first look you would think the book was about a complete control freak's dating history, but charlotte proves to be a well-intentioned but slighty bonkers dating partner, with a good heart and witty musings. I very much enjoyed reading this book, and I think it was because it's real and there's something you can relate to at least on every other page. I was reading it on public transport and I can't count the looks I received as laughing out loud or cringing in equal measures while doing so!! I'd recommend it to anyone who thinks they've ever done anything bonkers in the name of love or lust, because it's probably nothing compared to any of the people in this book.

Brilliant and relateable, 03 Jun 2008
This book details various dating situations from Charlotte and her friends over the years, the best thing being that it is non-fiction. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and have found myself laughing at some of the hilariously stupid things they've done and how familiar some of the situations seem. Whoever you are you will find it difficult not to relate to some of the dating experiences and it also details the opinions of her friends, both male and female. It's even made me feel better about my foolish behaviour in the past! Easy to read and difficult to put down.

Absolutely Loved it! Very Sex and the City!, 31 May 2008
i loved this book and couldnt put it down ,has everything you need to remind you of your young days dating ,trials and tribulations of todays dating and relationship problems! most of the examples used will relate to every woman out there! would recommend this to anyone! xx

If you loved Bridget Jones' Diary, then you'll savour this book, 08 May 2008
The best thing about this book is that it is all true. We've all done crazy things at times of desperation, and Charlotte lets us know we are not alone in our neurotic antics. Evoking the readers own memories of better-best-forgotten experiences, and dating-game nightmares, this book will honestly make you feel that like you are perfectly normal. Not to mention some sly tricks for keeping men going off the rails too much (The Nando's trick is genius)
This book is perfect for the summer, and will have you chuckling to yourself throughout. I couldn't put it down.
Regardless of whether you are single, married or somewhere in between, trust me, you will relate to this book!

A fabulous read!, 05 May 2008
This is a lovely, lively look at negotiating your way around those tricky relationship issues we all face. It's written with a real warmth and despite detailing some rather embarrassing dating tales the whole thing has an uplifting air about it.

Although the back page blurb has this down as an "intimate memoir", it is much more than that. Charlotte Ward does take us through her own trials and tribulations, but along the way she involves stories and perspectives from friends and acquaintances - both male and female.

This was a fabulous read I'd recommend to anyone!

a catalogue of injustice , 06 Oct 2008
The problem with complaining about any system especially one as powerful as the divorce courts you are taking on the establishment and any complainant it branded as a troublemaker.

Nowadays were are encouraged to provide feedback on almost every experience we have. I used to fill them in and make specific comments. i don't bother any more as the comments are swept under the carpet.

Even if you are a completely biased observer and take the view that the fathers are guilty of poor behaviour the system should not treat them the way that they do. Criminals in prison seem to have more rights than fathers.

The court system is designed to provide work for judges barristers and solicitors and these things are all tied up in consent orders and rarely are there court cases where disputes are aired. Judges don't want to make decisions they just want to pat lawyers on the back for coming to a sensible decision. That is one that does not ruffle the court system.

The court system is also very class ridden. They would ridicule anyone who could not speak or write properly. They would then have you written off as a working class oik. they are urged by the Lord chancellor to help litigants in person but they are told not to give legal advice. You have to make your way through a system set up for the convenience of the legal profession and the courts not the public.


I would be interested to know if any of these writers of books about the divorce courts know how to mount a defence that works. Obviously constantly appealing against judgment doesn't to seem to work.


Highly recommended and a must read for anyone who wants to know how the establishment crushes those who complain.

not so 'family' Court., 09 Sep 2008
We had the lie-telling Dr Hamish Cameron in our case too. My own parents divorce was similar to the Harris case in Family Court Hell. Years of dishonest court experts all telling us (I'm the eldest of four sisters) what to say which had to coincide with our mothers' wishes about us seeing our Dad. We even had this appalling Dr Hamish Cameron who, like in the Harris case, lied about our Dad. Cameron is pure evil, corrupt and wicked. The book though is an excellent insight about the injustices of family courts. I do wonder, now aged 20 and looking back, could all of these people abuse children in this way if these courts were fully open to the press and public?

why, 07 Jul 2008
why are these courts allowed to get away with it i feel so sorry for mark and his girls
i know mark and his daughter lisa
he taught my daughter to drive she liked him and ithink he is a good man

The courts where some are more equal than others before the law, 17 Jun 2008
The most elementary principle of justice in a democracy is that all are held to be equal in the eyes of the law. On the evidence of this book it is now abundantly clear that a father, far from being equal in disputes over access to his children, is held to be of no account in the secret family courts. He is liable to be dispossessed of all contact with his children at will by his former wife or partner on a whim or as part of a family feud. Mark Harris' one mistake was to marry into a family of vindictive sociopaths who forcibly abducted his wife and children and smashed up the family home. That he stayed in touch with those children and stuck it out through truly Kafkaesque abuse of legal process by the secret family courts and their corrupt mendacious judges, counsel and so called experts for 10 years, until the passage of time allowed his children to make their own choice, is a tribute to human endurance on a parallel with any other I have read about. The lengths the authorities went to in smearing and crushing the harmless organised protests that fathers in similar situations put on, show what kind of state we live in. This book is also a wake up call to defenders of civil liberties, people with whom I normally do not have much sympathy. It turns out that even the alleged plot to kidnap Leo Blair was probably put about by the security services. Was the so called desecration at Stonehenge a matter for grave disquiet? Not really; it was an imaginative publicity stunt and did no damage to the monument. Until the family courts are brought out into the light of day and scrutinised properly, the grave miscarriages of justice described in this book will continue. It used to be said that an Englishman's home was his castle until his wife decided to take it away from him. To that can now be added that his children are his own until the lady decides to remove them with the backing of the courts and legal establishment.

Shocking, gripping, essential, 17 Jun 2008
Those, like me, who thought that British courts believe in dispensing justice need to read this book. It is a shocking story of an ordinary father and his daughters being forced apart by a selfish mother and the British legal system. As a separated man who has fortunately avoided the family court system I find it appalling and terrifying that other men in similar situations have their children taken away from them and their fight for justice brings them misery, poverty and in Harris's case, jail.

Thank you Mark Harris for writing this book. Thank you Lisa Harris for standing up for yourself and your sisters and your father. May all those involved in perpetrating these miscarriages of justice and ruining people's lives read this book and change their ways.

I'm off to join F4J. (I'll look ridiculous in tights.)



Ehhh... get this on library loan, and read the blog instead. , 03 Nov 2007
For the benefit of those who don't really follow online blog personalities, Crazy Aunt Purl is the moniker undergone by Laurie Perry. A Texican who migrated to California, she got married, invested her selfworth and mental wellbeing in her husband, only for him to split. In despair she started a blog to chart her new life and its progress as it were, and well, her blog just became great. She was nominated for Blog of the year in 2005/6.

In the world of knitting, Crazy Aunt Purl is rather like the yarn Harlot (Stephanie Pearl-McPhee) in the sense that you go to her blog to garner a laugh and get the odd insight be it life or love (for knitting). No patterns there!

The difference is that The Yarn Harlot was born in the land of knitting; she knows the language, has the passport and changes the moods as well as dictating the trends. On the other hand, Crazy Aunt Purl is a new migrant, and her struggles with knitting and subsequent joy in the craft rather mirrors the snags and highs in her new life, post divorce.

If you've read her blog, you'll have an idea about the book: each chapter is like a blog entry, one subject debated at length in short bites. The book is divided into three sections, each showing desperation, a stumble and then recovery. There are patterns in the back, a bit quirky, nothing special (although I like the lace scarf and cap).

To be honest, I think her blog is much better than the book. The blog posts feel spontaneous, quirkier and a bit more complete. In contrast, the book seems to have been edited to the point of stiltedness. The stronger 'entries' in the books are those lifted from her blog (about 15 percent). In the blog, her speech candence comes out more, as well as that Southern sensiblity and sass. In the book... not so much.

If you're not a knitter, don't let it deter you from having a read. It could have been any hobby that gave the author focus and made her find herself, so to speak. There are a few good chapters that make you think, especially the one where the author enters into a relationship with someone and recognises that although he may not be the one, he made her feel special and worthy, and noting that though its not love, it means something. As someone who's gone through a similar patch regarding relationships, it's an important lesson to learn.

Overall, I'd say relegate this on library loan, and read the blog instead. I can't sell this book on, because I inadvertently ruined it. :/'


A must read, 25 Aug 2006
I had just finished reading this book, which was banned by the country the story it was set in, the same one I came from, Singapore. It was a really absorbing book, and I could hardly put it down. Interestingly, it is both a good book and a bad book. I will look at both sides in my review.

Good points:
This book is great as it tells the story of an Asian society `as it was'. The key word here is `was'. Because the ideology portrayed in the book was mainly of the last generation, or of those `old money' type. A number of points illustrated in the book do not apply to most of the modern, and western, way of thinking in Singapore anymore. Another good point about the book is it took on the established authority in Singapore, revealing things that will otherwise never be made known to the public. I really applaud the writer for daring to step out of line and write the book.

Bad points:
The bad point about the book is the author really enjoyed "chinaman bashing". The term "chinaman" refers to someone from China, not Singapore, or as I mentioned above, Chinese men with "old money". Most modern Chinese men do not think or behave as she described in the book. Further more, while the author portrays "chinamen" in a bad light, she had exposed herself to be a typical SPG who got excited and spread her legs for an "ang moh" man. And also just like typical SPG, she views a white man (does not matter where they come from) as a ticket to get out of the country and live in a western country. Strangely I do not get as excited as the author when I first arrived in the UK. While I can also understand her pitiful marriage to a "chinaman" that comes from a family with "old money", it is only her own fault that she was foolish enough to be swept off her feet by a bad person.


Conclusion:
I, like the author, am a "quitter", and therefore I could sympathize with much of her frustration with the Singapore system. I even agree to the points she made about "chinaman". But I strongly feel that she should make it clear that it mainly apply to the last generation, not the current. Women of the current generation mainly work, until the "sit-home-taitai" the author was. Overall it is a good book and reading it made me feel a little homesick. I will strongly recommend it to any Singaporean. It had described Singapore in a way never seen before, without fear from the authorities. It exposes all the scandals happening in high places around the world. Most importantly of all, it is a very true book.


Escape from Paradise, 14 Jun 2004
A well written book - I couldn't put the book down after I started reading it.

May Chu, the grand daughter of the Tiger Balm King described her childhood life and her marriage life. Her experience with the traditional Chinese family and the legal system in Singapore. I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially women who are interested to learn more about woman's right.

Long overdue, 20 Jul 2005
This book will shock many who dismiss fathers' rights campaigners as part of the lunatic fringe. In Britain in the twenty-first century men who find themselves in the hands of the Family Court system are deprived of what many of us would consider to be basic human rights and dignity. They are treated as second class citizens, 'walking wallets' to be fleeced by the system, and woe betide them if they try to stand up and demand a fair hearing and regular - let alone equal - contact with their children. These individual tales are heart-rending, yet also at times inspiring, as Dads don't just roll over, but grit their teeth and fight for their children in the face of prejudice and institutionalised injustice. It takes a brave man to stick his head above the parapet and face the wrath of the feminist establishment, who bizarrely want it both ways, equality on all things, save in the Family courts, where superiority and unfair advantage are the name of the game. The author is to be praised for having the courage to give this difficult subject such a clear and thought-provoking airing. Read it and be at times saddened, but also challenged and inspired.

Poor Alec Baldwin Still Doesn't Get It, 23 Sep 2008
I watched a few excerpts from Alec Baldwin's interview on 20/20 in relation to his book, A Promise to Ourselves: A Journey Through Fatherhood and Divorce. Men don't get a fair shake in divorce courts or from society-at-large. According to the promo:

"I have been through some of the worst of contentious divorce litigation," Alec Baldwin declares in A Promise to Ourselves. Using a very personal approach, he offers practical guidance to help others avoid the anguish he has endured.

I read some of the articles related to the interview and wondered if his personal journey, estimated at around $3 million in court costs plus jetting around regularly to remain in contact with his daughter, could offer much advice that most men could relate to. I suppose most men will easily avoid a similar experience simply because they can't afford it. In fact, divorce and its aftermath leave many men unable to afford a soft-copy version of such a book - let alone the hard-copy version on sale now.

Baldwin's inability to connect with the common man, or even his own situation for that matter, runs deeper than the amount of green at his disposal. A constant supporter of the Democratic Party, he paints Bill Clinton as a hero, regularly proclaims that Al Gore won the presidency, declared he'd leave the country if George Bush became president in 2000 (and then didn't leave), and is currently pushing the idea that Sarah Palin is a George Bush look-a-like; hoping to keep in touch with the extreme anti-Bush contingency.

For those who think Alec Baldwin is a superficial twit, he doesn't disappoint. After eight years of comment on the 2000 presidential election, he still hasn't figured out how the election process works, or doesn't understand the electoral college system, or isn't aware that every recount in Florida showed Bush won, or all of the above. So it doesn't seem out of character to see him continuing to support a political party that has expressed its hatred of men - divorced and never married fathers in particular - in its platform for almost two decades. How will helping this party maintain power "help others avoid the anguish he has endured?"

The answer is that it won't and most likely Alec Baldwin doesn't care that it won't. Face to face with the effects of politically expressed hatred and corruption he continues to embrace his tormentors. Rather than looking the evil in the eye and providing support in the battle against it, he wrote a book about himself.

Is his self-portrayal even real? Somehow I doubt it. He prayed, he says, that he wouldn't wake up in the morning and considered specific ideas about how to carry out his suicide. When it really comes down to a matter of life or death, people take care of the business that needs to be taken care of. Alec Baldwin is still working his manufactured image in direct contradiction to the need. He just can't get real.


Funny, cringeworthy and honest account of past relationships, brilliant!, 04 Jun 2008
At first look you would think the book was about a complete control freak's dating history, but charlotte proves to be a well-intentioned but slighty bonkers dating partner, with a good heart and witty musings. I very much enjoyed reading this book, and I think it was because it's real and there's something you can relate to at least on every other page. I was reading it on public transport and I can't count the looks I received as laughing out loud or cringing in equal measures while doing so!! I'd recommend it to anyone who thinks they've ever done anything bonkers in the name of love or lust, because it's probably nothing compared to any of the people in this book.

Brilliant and relateable, 03 Jun 2008
This book details various dating situations from Charlotte and her friends over the years, the best thing being that it is non-fiction. I've thoroughly enjoyed reading the book and have found myself laughing at some of the hilariously stupid things they've done and how familiar some of the situations seem. Whoever you are you will find it difficult not to relate to some of the dating experiences and it also details the opinions of her friends, both male and female. It's even made me feel better about my foolish behaviour in the past! Easy to read and difficult to put down.

Absolutely Loved it! Very Sex and the City!, 31 May 2008
i loved this book and couldnt put it down ,has everything you need to remind you of your young days dating ,trials and tribulations of todays dating and relationship problems! most of the examples used will relate to every woman out there! would recommend this to anyone! xx

If you loved Bridget Jones' Diary, then you'll savour this book, 08 May 2008
The best thing about this book is that it is all true. We've all done crazy things at times of desperation, and Charlotte lets us know we are not alone in our neurotic antics. Evoking the readers own memories of better-best-forgotten experiences, and dating-game nightmares, this book will honestly make you feel that like you are perfectly normal. Not to mention some sly tricks for keeping men going off the rails too much (The Nando's trick is genius)
This book is perfect for the summer, and will have you chuckling to yourself throughout. I couldn't put it down.
Regardless of whether you are single, married or somewhere in between, trust me, you will relate to this book!

A fabulous read!, 05 May 2008
This is a lovely, lively look at negotiating your way around those tricky relationship issues we all face. It's written with a real warmth and despite detailing some rather embarrassing dating tales the whole thing has an uplifting air about it.

Although the back page blurb has this down as an "intimate memoir", it is much more than that. Charlotte Ward does take us through her own trials and tribulations, but along the way she involves stories and perspectives from friends and acquaintances - both male and female.

This was a fabulous read I'd recommend to anyone!

a catalogue of injustice , 06 Oct 2008
The problem with complaining about any system especially one as powerful as the divorce courts you are taking on the establishment and any complainant it branded as a troublemaker.

Nowadays were are encouraged to provide feedback on almost every experience we have. I used to fill them in and make specific comments. i don't bother any more as the comments are swept under the carpet.

Even if you are a completely biased observer and take the view that the fathers are guilty of poor behaviour the system should not treat them the way that they do. Criminals in prison seem to have more rights than fathers.

The court system is designed to provide work for judges barristers and solicitors and these things are all tied up in consent orders and rarely are there court cases where disputes are aired. Judges don't want to make decisions they just want to pat lawyers on the back for coming to a sensible decision. That is one that does not ruffle the court system.

The court system is also very class ridden. They would ridicule anyone who could not speak or write properly. They would then have you written off as a working class oik. they are urged by the Lord chancellor to help litigants in person but they are told not to give legal advice. You have to make your way through a system set up for the convenience of the legal profession and the courts not the public.


I would be interested to know if any of these writers of books about the divorce courts know how to mount a defence that works. Obviously constantly appealing against judgment doesn't to seem to work.


Highly recommended and a must read for anyone who wants to know how the establishment crushes those who complain.

not so 'family' Court., 09 Sep 2008
We had the lie-telling Dr Hamish Cameron in our case too. My own parents divorce was similar to the Harris case in Family Court Hell. Years of dishonest court experts all telling us (I'm the eldest of four sisters) what to say which had to coincide with our mothers' wishes about us seeing our Dad. We even had this appalling Dr Hamish Cameron who, like in the Harris case, lied about our Dad. Cameron is pure evil, corrupt and wicked. The book though is an excellent insight about the injustices of family courts. I do wonder, now aged 20 and looking back, could all of these people abuse children in this way if these courts were fully open to the press and public?

why, 07 Jul 2008
why are these courts allowed to get away with it i feel so sorry for mark and his girls
i know mark and his daughter lisa
he taught my daughter to drive she liked him and ithink he is a good man

The courts where some are more equal than others before the law, 17 Jun 2008
The most elementary principle of justice in a democracy is that all are held to be equal in the eyes of the law. On the evidence of this book it is now abundantly clear that a father, far from being equal in disputes over access to his children, is held to be of no account in the secret family courts. He is liable to be dispossessed of all contact with his children at will by his former wife or partner on a whim or as part of a family feud. Mark Harris' one mistake was to marry into a family of vindictive sociopaths who forcibly abducted his wife and children and smashed up the family home. That he stayed in touch with those children and stuck it out through truly Kafkaesque abuse of legal process by the secret family courts and their corrupt mendacious judges, counsel and so called experts for 10 years, until the passage of time allowed his children to make their own choice, is a tribute to human endurance on a parallel with any other I have read about. The lengths the authorities went to in smearing and crushing the harmless organised protests that fathers in similar situations put on, show what kind of state we live in. This book is also a wake up call to defenders of civil liberties, people with whom I normally do not have much sympathy. It turns out that even the alleged plot to kidnap Leo Blair was probably put about by the security services. Was the so called desecration at Stonehenge a matter for grave disquiet? Not really; it was an imaginative publicity stunt and did no damage to the monument. Until the family courts are brought out into the light of day and scrutinised properly, the grave mis